6 Tips for Picking Up Dudes

I picked my last boyfriend up at the grocery store. Bing, bang, boom—some eggs, some bread, and a new dude. Sure, there was some out-of-store courting involved, but who would have thought you could actually meet nice guys at the grocery store? Or that guys even went to the grocery store?

Not me. But it turns out that great dudes are all over the place—you just have to know where to look and how to strike. Read on.

1. Smile.
This might sound dumb, but everybody’s attracted to a good smile. You can’t pick up a guy if you look sour, so flash those pearly whites. You never know when somebody cute is going to look your way.

2. Be who you wish you were.
If you’re shy but you really want to be outgoing and flirty, what’s stopping you? It’s hard to overcome labels you’ve placed on yourself, but you’re the only person who has the power to change things. So rather than slinking back into a corner, cross the room and talk to that hot dude. And hold your head up like you mean it.

3. Be open.
This does not translate to “Be desperate.” Instead, what I mean is that you should believe that you can meet guys anywhere—including at the grocery store. You don’t have to actively look, but you do have to acknowledge that the possibility is always there.

4. Be charming, but stay yourself.
Sometimes, I put out my best traits right away when I meet a guy in hopes that I’ll be able to nab him. It usually works, but the relationship doesn’t have much staying power when he realizes I have other personality traits that aren’t compatible with his. You can be charming and be 100% yourself at the same time, and that’s something I fully recommend. If you turn out to really like a guy, the relationship is much more likely to last a while if you show him who you are right away.

5. Look hot.
To everyone who says looks don’t matter, I say, “Are you kidding me?” Of course they matter, and that’s why you should heed the advice of the “What Not to Wear” crew when they say that you should always look great. Plus, caring about your appearance and putting together a look shows that you care about yourself, and that’s hot, too.

6. Don’t discriminate.
If the emo guy who keeps smiling at you in class isn’t exactly your type, don’t discount him just because you spend your nights dreaming about jocks. Emo Dude could have a few surprises in store and a killer sense of humor, and you’d never know unless you took a chance on him. So go for some variety!

34 Comments on "6 Tips for Picking Up Dudes"

  1. Marie says:
    Sun, 19th Apr 200912:39 pm 

    Great tips. Love it!

  2. Lauren - University of Michigan says:
    Sun, 19th Apr 20091:54 pm 

    I thougt this was going to be some article on pickup lines, but it’s not. These are really great tips. Well, more like attitude adjustments. Great article.

  3. Rebecca says:
    Sun, 19th Apr 20096:35 pm 

    I never really had trouble picking up a guy… just tell grab his junk, bite his ear and tell him you’ll meet him at his place in 15 minutes. Always worked for me.

  4. Chelsea says:
    Sun, 19th Apr 20098:11 pm 

    …this is pretty heterosexist.

    Why couldn’t the title be “6 Tips for Picking Up a Date”?

  5. kiki says:
    Sun, 19th Apr 200910:54 pm 

    i kind of need these right now lol

  6. Alana- Boston University says:
    Sun, 19th Apr 200910:59 pm 

    Bumping into a guy “accidentally on purpose” always works for me. My friends always joke about it, but hey, if it work…

  7. Trish says:
    Sun, 19th Apr 200911:28 pm 

    Carly,
    What did you say to the guy you met at the grocery store? Must’ve been something snazzy because that’s an odd place to pick up a guy lol.

  8. The Guru says:
    Sun, 19th Apr 200911:42 pm 

    Hey Guys!

    I am a guy (and no, I was not reading this article to learn how to pickup dudes — I have this blog on my RSS Reader)who has it pretty easy with girls. I can share one technique which works really well for me in picking up women, which you can use on guys too.

    The technique is called active disinterest or push-pull. The basic philosophy is to show interest and then slight dis-interest (or disqualify) in the person — now obviously this has to be done in a congruent manner so that you don’t come out as a psychopath.

    What will happen when you do this is that once you hook the girl or the guy by coming out as a cool person (yes girls, not every boy is just desperate about looks — some of us even look in for a fun personality in girls even though not as much as it matters to you girls), you should some interest and then you give a hint that you may not be a potential suitor.

    This drives women / men crazy when you do it — Once they feel that they might begin to lose a cool person like you, they start working at picking you up.

    Now I can go on for hours but hope you get the basic idea. Just remember to make sure that you do this very subtly and in short doses. If you have any questions or want more explanation, just post in the comments and I’d reply.

  9. The Guru says:
    Sun, 19th Apr 200911:45 pm 

    Oh another thing, you really should show some standards and don’t go bonks over every guy. And yes, even that Emo Guy. Why? We guys consider such girls sluts — and, a guy who gets girls would also have some standards and not go in for sluts.

    By doing so you will be only able to get desperate dudes who never get laid. If you want quality dudes that you really can be proud of showing to your girlfriends or have feeling that you had a one-nigh stand, then show some class and don’t go bonks over every loser you see in the venue.

  10. bruce says:
    Mon, 20th Apr 20095:07 am 

    “the guru” you really are anything but. oh you’ve read “the game”. big woop. and as for your second comment, girls being open minded towards people and not relying on stereotypes is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT to girls lowering their standards. GET A CLUE.

  11. tracyw22 says:
    Mon, 20th Apr 20095:17 am 

    um,that’s a good idea!

    Hot stature,sun glass, blond hair and red coat are all my style!! those tall women(even models) i hook up with were also in that style. still remember the tall dating place, to share with u guys: __Tallfinder.com_ a place to start a beautiful romance and leave sweet memories!!

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    Mon, 20th Apr 20095:22 am 

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  13. dumbstart says:
    Mon, 20th Apr 200910:48 am 

    Your advice for women is to date Emo kids?
    I like it, like they say; Once you go Emo, you … will appreciate everything else so much more.

    http://www.theunfunny.com

  14. The Guru says:
    Mon, 20th Apr 20091:42 pm 

    @bruce — I really don’t give a shit about what you think. What I wrote above works — if you ever get laid in your life, you will realize that. Now go fuck yourself.

  15. exotichic says:
    Mon, 20th Apr 20092:03 pm 

    Omg that is seriously true. The other day I saw the hottest guy at the grocery store. He got out of his car while I was walking out of mine and we sort of walked together and started talking and it turns out he goes to my gym. I will probably see him there soon! :)

  16. Jewaira says:
    Mon, 20th Apr 20092:38 pm 

    Sound advice

  17. bl1y says:
    Mon, 20th Apr 20092:49 pm 

    And once you have that man, here’s some tips on how to keep him: http://bl1y.wordpress.com/2009/04/16/bl1ys-rules-for-women/

  18. The Closer says:
    Mon, 20th Apr 20093:14 pm 

    Couldn’t be any better advice for picking anyone of or anything up:

    http://iloveclosing.com/2009/04/20/selling-secrets-from-talk-radio/

    Cheers
    The Closer

  19. Greg says:
    Mon, 20th Apr 20095:34 pm 

    Ok this is coming from a guy, I just read this article becasue I was curious as to what girls think guys want. I think number 2 and 5 are rediculous! Don’t be who you want to be, be yourself! Why not be shy? Some guys like shy girls. And “look hot”? That’s just pathetic, wear what you want to wear and a guy will like you for that reason, being fake, superficial and someone you’re not is one of the worst things you can do.

  20. bl1y says:
    Mon, 20th Apr 20096:35 pm 

    Greg is a retard. The only guys who like shy girls are the ones who think they have a better chance of hooking up with her because she’s shy and has fewer options.

    The advice clearly isn’t “be someone else,” it’s “be your best self.”

  21. Carly says:
    Mon, 20th Apr 20099:03 pm 

    I think bl1y got what I was saying, even if Greg didn’t. Oh, well!

    And to Trish–that dude in the grocery store actually picked me up more than the other way around, but we did strike up a conversation about crossing the street together (yes, seriously). And we live in a super-small town, so it was somewhat easier to start talking because there are very few people our age around. But generally, I think that asking people if they live in the area, if they’re students, what they’re studying, etc.–all the usual questions–works well. If the person is interested, the conversation will flow.

  22. Jamie says:
    Tue, 21st Apr 200910:14 am 

    This is great advice but I agree with the guy that said that showing interest and then slight-disinterest is a great technique. Sit back and watch as see how hard they try to win you over. Its an easy way to see how into you they are

  23. advice on asking girls out,best dating sites,black dating service,christain dating sites,completely free dating sites,dating advice for women,do I kiss a guy on our first date,flirting tips for shy girls,free local singels,free online dating,how does spee says:
    Wed, 22nd Apr 200912:35 am 

    Are you tired of been lonely?
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  24. universitydude says:
    Thu, 23rd Apr 20097:17 pm 

    wow pick up tips for girls? Now I’ve seen it all.

  25. bruce says:
    Fri, 24th Apr 200912:37 pm 

    dear “the guru”, i have seen the wrong in my ways. your expert advice truly knows no limits. i especially like the part where you said “go fuck yourself”. you truly are wise.

    yours admiringly,
    bruce

  26. Meag says:
    Mon, 27th Apr 200911:03 pm 

    ahaha I agree bruce totally! Well if someone gets defensive like that.. well ya know :O

    Greg I would like to comment that your opinion is sound but I dont think the author is going about it in a superficial way (well I could be wrong) I think being well groomed just means you like yourself, you care about yourself infact and well it’ll just shine through. Looking nice, even casual doesnt hurt, but looking like a frumpled mess does ;)

  27. Meag says:
    Mon, 27th Apr 200911:05 pm 

    to greg: which in turns can mean: time to take care of oneself, proves that one can take care of other aspects of their lives- and yes that is sexy :P

  28. valkyrie9 says:
    Sat, 2nd May 200910:45 pm 

    I like articles that encourage girls to not be shy. Maybe, if more girls were overtly outgoing when they were interested in guys, guys would realize that when a girl doesn’t respond it’s not because she’s “playing hard to get” but because she’s NOT. INTERESTED.

    I wish more guys knew this.

  29. Carly says:
    Tue, 5th May 20097:52 pm 

    Valkyrie, YES! Why don’t guys understand this?! It seems pretty logical to me.

  30. emo slut says:
    Sun, 14th Jun 20091:43 am 

    emo girls are the hottest imo but any girl on webcam is just sexy

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