Thank God You Aren’t This Crazy…Or Are You?

You’ve done some crazy things in your love lifetime:

Sleeping with your cell phone near your head as you wait for that boy to call.
Googling him to find out his interests…and then getting interested in professional hot dog eating yourself.
Eating only half of your burger when you could have eaten the whole thing and the fries so he didn’t think you were a heffer.

We get it. No biggie. Especially when you compare yourself to the real crazies out there:

The Sperm Jacker
Askmen.com recently warned their readers to beware of this crazy woman. The sperm-jacker is a woman who has neglected having children to focus on her career. When she starts to hear her biological clock ticking, she decides it is time to get pregnant. She goes out to a bar to find a man who will (seemingly) be able to provide for offspring, beds him, and then “accidently on purpose” gets pregnant.

The Marriage Trapper
We all know who this girl is – she wants her boyfriend to commit and his bachelor-ass doesn’t want to. Solution: get pregnant. This girl will get off the pill behind her boyfriend’s back or poke holes in his condoms when he’s not looking in order to get pregnant and force him to marry her. Some women go to even more desperate measures (yes, it does get more desperate than that!), and have sex with someone else to get pregnant and claim it’s their boyfriends. Too bad that plan didn’t work out so well for this woman, whose boyfriend had had a vasectomy that she didn’t know about.

The Circumsizer
In ancient times, police would punish thieves by cutting off their hands. Now, women punish cheaters by cutting off their penises. The punishment fits the crime, right? This woman and this woman think so.

The (Statutory) Rapist
There is no man quite as sexy as a 13-year-old pre-pubescent boy, right? Can I get a “Ew gross!”? Maybe these women aren’t satisfied in their adult relationships, or maybe they have a thing for acne, but there are a lot of women out there falling head over heels for those middle school boys. This fox news article summarizes a few of the cases.

The Stalker
This women is obsessive and jealous. When she is with someone, she knows where they are at all times. She reads his email and checks his Facebook/MySpace/Twitter. She browses his text messages and call log daily. After the break up, she continues to stalk. She keeps reading the email. She will show up in places she knows he will be, just to see who he is with. If he blocks her on Facebook, she will used a friend’s account to keep tabs. An askmen.com user reports his experience with this crazy woman here.

What do you think? Do these crazies make you feel better or worse?
Even more, do you see yourself turning into one of these!?