The Morning After: The Pee Pee Night

April 26, 2009     Posted in HaHa

morning-after


By Anonymous

[One of the greatest aspects of college life is the morning-after recap with friends. You stumble out of bed, grab your liquid of choice, and gather around the living room to replay (and remind yourself of) the events of last night. You laugh, you cringe and you share the highest of highs...and the rock-bottom lowest of lows. We thought we'd bring the fun of the recap to CollegeCandy, so grab that coffee and take part in the deliciously awkward moments your CC friends have to share.]

I’ll put it plainly: On my 19th birthday, I made it my duty to get really, really drunk. It was my freshman year at school, and my parents had come up for the weekend and taken a few of my closest friends out to celebrate with us. Naturally, as is often customary when mom and dad are footing the bill, the wine was flowing for a good two hours. By the time we finished dinner and got back to campus I had a great buzz, and we made our way to our friend’s apartment where a party was being thrown in my honor.

A kid that I had been hooking up with lived in the apartment along with nine other guys, and as the night went on we starting flirting a lot and it seemed like I would end up spending the night. I was really excited that he was paying attention to me – so excited that I didn’t even care when I dropped my new cell phone in the toilet. (I’ll always owe one of my best friends for sticking her hand into my pee and extracting my shiny pink Motorola Razor… Since that weekend, when talking to my parents, I’ve maintained the argument that one of my friends dropped it into the toilet. They still don’t believe me.)

Anyways, fast forward to the next morning.

I woke up with my best friend’s phone number (the same friend who bravely retrieved my cell phone from the depths of the toilet bowl) scrawled across my stomach. When I opened my eyes I was staring my boy right in the….feet. It just so happens that the guy and I woke up lying HEAD TO TOE in his bed. That’s right. My head was at the bottom of the bed; I had no clothes on, and no recollection of the events that had passed the previous night.

I rolled over and looked to the clear coffee table in the middle of the room. There was a puddle of yellow liquid shining in the morning sunlight. I was later informed that I got out of bed – midway through a make-out session, I might add – and mistook the table for the toilet. Oops. I tried insisting that there was no way that I had done that, and suggested that perhaps he was the one who thought it was a good idea to pee in the middle of his bedroom. I was wrong.

To top it all off, I wasn’t sure exactly what had happened (sexually, if you know what I mean), and had to have the extremely embarrassing conversation in which I “clarified” the night’s activities. “Did we….?” “Condom or no condom?” “Was I good? You know…after the pee pee incident?” You know the deal.

Since the boy still found me attractive enough to hump post table-pee, I figured he was OK with it. A week later, though, I found out that stories of my little peeing problem had been making their way through his group of friends, all of whom were seniors and must have had some great laughs at my expense. To make matters worse, my best friend was dating one of the guys who lived in his house, and my friends and I were always over there. I had to see him (and ignore him) all the time, and was constantly reminded of my shameful birthday behavior.

It was certainly a night to remember, or forget, as the case may be.

You have a story to recap? Email it to Lauren@collegecandy.com and she’ll share it (anonymously, of course) here!

22 Comments on "The Morning After: The Pee Pee Night"

  1. Maria says:
    Sun, 26th Apr 200910:50 am 

    I had a similar experience a few weeks ago. I was visiting a guy friend at his college, and spent the night hitting on his gorgeous suitemates and their friends. Several drinks later, I blacked out, and then passed out in my friends bed. The next day, a few hours after I had left, my friend txted me saying "You know you peed in my sink last night, right?" Apparently one of his suitemates had walked in on me squatting over the sink. It's a night I'm glad I can't remember.

  2. sauer kraut says:
    Sun, 26th Apr 20096:45 pm 

    Several thoughts come to mind, not the least of which is… anyone get a video? Or were they gentlemen who kept camera in pocket?

  3. somegirl says:
    Sun, 26th Apr 20097:55 pm 

    wow. i don't even feel bad for you because that is fucking stupid. way to be that girl.

  4. peaches says:
    Mon, 27th Apr 20098:29 am 

    I seriously hope you learned some things from the experience, namely to know your alcohol limits and to ALWAYS carry condoms.

    Chalk it up to "young and stupid" and try to be more aware in the future. You are VERY lucky you didn't get gangraped, pregnant, or contract an STD.

  5. Anya D Night says:
    Mon, 27th Apr 20099:42 am 

    haha.. awww. Somegirl, that's just nasty. Why you gotta be like that?

    So.. I guess your 20th birthday was celebrated more tamely? ;)

  6. Samantha says:
    Mon, 27th Apr 20099:47 am 

    I'm with somegirl. I wanted to feel bad, but all I can think is how stupid this was. And yes, Anya D Night, all my birthdays have been more tame – I can honestly say I've never woken up next to some guy with no memory of what happened.

  7. Lisa says:
    Mon, 27th Apr 20094:05 pm 

    Whoa guys, take a breath. Everyone's had one of those 'oh my goodness' nights and if you haven't yet, you will. Stop judging. Doesn't really help anyone.

  8. criolle johnny says:
    Tue, 28th Apr 200910:12 am 

    Could be worse, reminds me of a "Tequila Pool Tournament" in Long Beach. I woke up in Bakersfield with a good looking lady. She was 28 years old and about 3 – 1/2 foot tall.

    It actually got worse … some other time.

  9. bev says:
    Tue, 28th Apr 20094:08 pm 

    I agree with somegirl and Samantha. I seriously cannot feel bad when I hear stories like that.

    I still have fun, but also have the maturity to keep from having such experiences. & Lisa, no, not everyone has those experiences…Nor will everyone at some point in their lives. No one was really judging…Just stating it is hard to feel bad for a situation that the person brought upon herself unnecessarily.

  10. oops! says:
    Tue, 28th Apr 20097:15 pm 

    When I was 21, my boyfriend, his friend, his girlfriend, my bf's sister and her best friend went to a cookout around 1 pm. There was Sangria. I had never had sangria before and assumed it was wine with fruit in it. I was very experienced with wine at this point, so I had 4-6 glasses of it between 1 and 5pm. I ate a lot of the fruit as well. (I was 5'4 & 130 lbs) We then went back home (next door) and the boyfriend wanted Mojitos w/ dark rum. I had 2 tall glasses of this. Some one then had the bright idea to go to a Mexican restaurant where we ordered 3 pitchers of Margaritas (Tequila). I have memory up until the food got on the table. The next day I puked 6 times, and had a migraine. I later heard that I licked my bf's sister's best friend on the face. There was video footage. It looked like I was trying to pick her up and then BAM! LICK! I still hang my head in shame when this is brought up with our small group.

  11. stupid drunk whores says:
    Wed, 29th Apr 20096:09 am 

    I think that you honestly deserve an std,preferably herpes. It would serve you right to have to carry a mark of what you did for life. haha, then everyone would point and laugh at the stupid drunk whore.

    Too bad nothing worse happened to you.

    And dont say "everyone will have a night like that" bullshit. Im 21 and finishing college, and havent had a night like that. Its called KNOW YOUR LIMITS drunken skanks. I have celebrated all of my birthdays with alcohol, and remember every one of them, thanks.

    So next year, when this happens again to you on your 21st birthday (if you dont die by then), try to stop drinking when you being blacking out.

    Or better yet, keep drinking, so that everyone else can talk about you and judge your stupid mistakes.

  12. Mystery says:
    Thu, 30th Apr 20099:24 am 

    Wow. Your writers clearly have no sense of self-worth and only attract the guys of the lowest, most desperate calibre. If a girl whizzed in my room she would be out of there instantly and the entire college would learn about the incident and collectively point and laugh.

  13. Pete says:
    Fri, 1st May 20099:29 am 

    There is an entire website dedicated to the morning after tale. http://www.kissanddish.com…my friends and I get on it all the time and post our post hookup woes.

  14. Monica says:
    Fri, 1st May 20095:34 pm 

    I came across this site yesterday, and I have to say a lot of the content is appalling and kind of scary. I'm 17 and looking forward to college, but this site makes it sound like all college students do is get fucked up and hookup with guys. I admit to having lived a relatively sheltered life, but jesus, this stuff is disgusting. I don't want my college experience to be like this, but at the same time I don't want to alienate myself from college life.

  15. Brittany says:
    Fri, 1st May 200910:39 pm 

    Ok, so my ex best friend got hammered one night, took her tampon out and thru it on the floor of this guy friends place. if that isnt enough she then took it up the hiney….ugh.

  16. carol says:
    Sat, 2nd May 20094:10 pm 

    This story is hilarious but Monica all of college isn't like this- if it was run of the mill then people wouldn't write about it…

    xx

  17. screaming and shouting says:
    Fri, 20th Nov 20098:49 pm 

    my 18th birthday, i also made it a personal mission to get as drunk as possible. we had a huge party on our floor that is STILL remembered as we’re all getting ready to graduate. there was this guy i was kinda into and i mentioned to my roommate that i wanted to hook up with him.
    as her “birthday gift” to me, she told him this and sent him over to our room shortly after i had passed out. i have no recollection of this but i’m told that our whole floor could hear the moaning and (i kid you not) screaming coming from my room. i didn’t end up having sex with him but apparently after lots of fooling around, he ended up ‘finishing’ on my stomach and breasts. according to him, i had asked him to do so but somehow this didn’t stop me from shouting and screaming and kicking him out of my room for being a pervert.
    i almost nearly forgot about that until i read this!
    oh first year.

  18. Emine says:
    Tue, 14th Feb 20121:23 am 

    I aterpciape the incredibly succinct response to an unfortunately common position against the Occupy Wall Street movement. Like many other protestors there, I am employed. The 53%-ers share a fundamental misunderstanding that is the result of never actually seeing the protest first-hand. A private poll soon to be published suggested that as much of 85% of the protesters are employed (this includes the nearly 20% that are underemployed). On top of that, many are newly unemployed and some even newly homeless-including a former engineer that worked in the World Trade Center during 9/11. I personally know of at least one tea party supporter who now frequents Liberty plaza and many ardent supporters of Ron Paul.Most of these misconceptions could be cleared up very easily. Visit the park. Occupy Wall Street.

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