Pay Women What We’re Worth, Dammit!

April 27, 2009     Posted in Reality

pay.qxdTomorrow is Equal Pay Day, a public awareness event to draw attention to the gender pay gap. Today, women make about 80 cents per every dollar a man makes.


By Kelly

It’s ridiculous – if we do the same work, we should get paid the same. Am I right!? [Crowd cheers.]

But I’m here to say that we not only deserve equal pay, but should actually be making more money than men. Here are 5 very real reasons why:

1. Women are biologically superior to men. We have a longer life expectancy, more grey matter in our brains (it’s useful stuff, trust me) and can have multiple orgasms. We aren’t as susceptible to many inherited diseases (like hemophilia and colorblindness) because we have two X chromosomes rather than just one.

2. We work twice as much. Most women and men work eight-hour days. But when women get home, they have to cook, clean, and take care of the kids. This extra work is known by feminists as the “second shift” and we deserve to be compensated for it.

3. Women are more qualified than man. Women get better grades and take more advanced placement classes in high school. Nearly sixty-percent of undergraduate college students are women, and women earn more bachelor and graduate degrees then men.

4. We should be compensated for all the years we were screwed. Women have made significantly less than men since we joined the work force. I’m not going to do the math but that adds up to a LOT of money, and we deserve to be paid more now to make up for it.

5. Women shop more than men. Women buy things for themselves, their lover, and their friends. Women do the majority of the grocery and household goods shopping. We decorate out homes, plan the family parties, and (increasingly) pick out the family car. Since we spend the most money, we should be making the most money.

It’s time women made what they were worth, and that’s a hell of a lot more than 80 cents to every male dollar. [Crowd goes wild.]

24 Comments on "Pay Women What We’re Worth, Dammit!"

  1. Tori says:
    Mon, 27th Apr 20091:07 pm 

    "But when women get home, they have to cook, clean, and take care of the kids."

    Who says? Why can't my husband do that?

  2. Sean says:
    Mon, 27th Apr 20091:37 pm 

    Whoa, woman are really better than men. Woman also have a higher pain threshold: they need to deal with girly cramps, and woman also need to deal with the pain of natural birth. What about us guys? Deal with a hard-on in the morning. Oh noes! That's way worse! *sarcasm* This is just a guys opinion :]

  3. snarktastic says:
    Mon, 27th Apr 20092:06 pm 

    yes, because nothing is cooler than mass generalizations for an entire gender!

    last time i checked, women deserve to be compensated equally for equal work. not for past injustices and the second shift. make it about working at the same level, not historical inequity – that argument hasn't had the best results [ask black people].

  4. Claire says:
    Mon, 27th Apr 20093:15 pm 

    That would get us less money!

  5. Winnie says:
    Mon, 27th Apr 20093:27 pm 

    Fail, you use stereotypes of women to justify your means. On top of that, saying that women are better than men the other is just as bad as saying that men are better than women.

    The first bill Obama signed, The Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, made sure that women are not discriminated when it comes to pay.

    Ideas like these give feminists a bad rep. I am ashamed.

  6. Lisa says:
    Mon, 27th Apr 20093:59 pm 

    I realize this was supposed to be funny…but sorry you missed the mark.

  7. Sam says:
    Mon, 27th Apr 20094:23 pm 

    "2. We work twice as much. Most women and men work eight-hour days. But when women get home, they have to cook, clean, and take care of the kids. This extra work is known by feminists as the “second shift” and we deserve to be compensated for it."

    I'll take Perpetuating Stereotypes for 400, Alex.

  8. Briana says:
    Mon, 27th Apr 20094:52 pm 

    Marry me, Sean.

  9. Kahla says:
    Mon, 27th Apr 20095:00 pm 

    Winnie…

    It's great and all that Obama signed that act in order to ensure that women get equal pay… because we ALL know that when something is a law, that something never gets broken right?

    I mean, discrimination in the workplace still happens everyday, whether it's based on nationality, gender, way of speaking, etc.

    The fact remains that women still make less money per unit than men do. And I think it will take a while for that law to change it.

  10. Casey says:
    Mon, 27th Apr 20097:25 pm 

    Ummm, wow! I am almost speechless! (almost being the operative word)

    This is the kind of crap that pisses me off! Women want to be treated equally yet they believe they are better. How does that work out?

    Question, when you see someone who thinks they are better than everyone else, how do you react to them? What do you call them? Let’s see, stuck up, snob, bitch, diva. You basically brush them off and get really annoyed with them.

    Now I want to address your “reasons”
    1. “Women are biologically superior to men”

    While all of that may be true, how does it pertain to work, and wages? It doesn’t.

    2. “We work twice as much”

    Really? I don’t have a family, don’t plan on having kids, if I do ever my husband will be completely capable of doing all of those things. Not to mention a family should be both parents responsibilities, not just the woman’s (clearly you believe in some screwed up form of feminism you should know that!) So should I be getting paid more to compensate for that “second shift” that women supposedly have? Just because I am a woman? And who exactly do you expect to be paying you for that “second shift” THAT YOU VOLUNTARILY SIGNED UP FOR! Your husband? I think that’s called prostitution.

    3. Women are more qualified”

    For what job? You don’t know every person out there applying for jobs, you don’t know who’s got better credentials, whose to say all those female undergrads and BA holders aren’t out there raising a family instead of using their degrees, I know plenty of women who go to school just to end up raising a family instead. And being “better qualified” in no way means that you are actually doing a better job than your “less qualified” male co-workers. And maybe, just maybe, The guys who ARE better qualified are working the same jobs that you are applying for.

    4. “We should be compensated”

    Really, why? Were you personally screwed over? Did you live in the time when women didn’t get equal rights? What gives you the right to any more money? Because you happen to have a vagina? And what if your female ancestors never worked? What should YOU be compensated for?

    5. “women shop more”

    Ok seriously? Again, that is YOUR choice! No one is forcing you to shop for a bunch of crap you. don’t. need. Men could easily start going out and shopping more and saying “give us more money! we shop!” That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard! And most of that money that women spend “decorating, picking out the car, throwing parties, grocery shopping” Is their HUSBANDS MONEY! Does he want all that crap for the house? Doubtful. Does he want to spend his money on a mini van? Doubtful. Does he want to throw a party? Not likely. Guys are simple.

    If women aren’t performing in a position as well as their male co-workers then they certainly DO NOT deserve the same pay. However, that goes both ways.

    This article just set women WAAAAAAAY back! Thanks a lot!

  11. Gary says:
    Mon, 27th Apr 20096:31 pm 

    way to set back you argument 10 years by playing to every stereotype possible.

    and btw when you compare single women(no children, never left workforce) to men, with equal credentials, title, and experience its been showed many times over that they make the same amount

    most of the losses women take salary wise are due missing time for maternity leave as well as gaps in job history, which contribute almost entirely to their lower salary

  12. Kristina says:
    Mon, 27th Apr 20097:01 pm 

    Fail at humor, fail at feminism.

  13. Winnie says:
    Mon, 27th Apr 20098:05 pm 

    Kahla,

    I know what you mean, and that the law isn't foolproof, but we are making progress are we not?

  14. A.Y. Siu says:
    Tue, 28th Apr 20096:07 am 

    Why is this post tagged as feminism? This is traditionalism all the way.

  15. Sean says:
    Tue, 28th Apr 20091:07 pm 

    I'm sorry, Briana :] I am already taken, lmao.

  16. zhad says:
    Thu, 30th Apr 20096:12 pm 

    I realized this was sarcasm about 5 seconds in…

  17. brittany. says:
    Fri, 1st May 20094:20 pm 

    briana, sean is mine. XD

  18. Casey says:
    Thu, 14th May 20098:46 am 

    wow. way to go. you made me want to pay women even less. by speaking in the generalities that condemned womenkind, you are resorting the very evil that victimized you. and the day i pay a woman more because she wants to shop is the day i strangle myself with every dollar bill in my pocket.

  19. Peabrain says:
    Mon, 29th Jun 20093:26 pm 

    they're all WEAK WEAK WEAAAKKKKKK!!!! Genetically superior my bionic buttcheeks! I love how men have periods every month and insane mood swings to match, remember how they also suddenly start feeling hot when their around 40-45 in an air conditioned room?

  20. Alice says:
    Mon, 14th Sep 200911:56 am 

    “But when women get home, they have to cook, clean, and take care of the kids.”

    When I was 7 my dad worked, came home, cooked dinner and took care of me and my brothers.(lets face it, SOME men you wouldn't find dead with a broom in there hand)And my brother can sleep in class and get straight A's (I've seen it with my own eyes). I am sorry but those reasons up there are really sexist. If you disagree that is fine this is a free country, you can believe what you want, I am just sharing what I think.

  21. Lily says:
    Wed, 6th Jan 20104:31 am 

    You said it, sister! Women rule!

  22. bettie says:
    Sat, 10th Apr 20107:57 am 

    thanks casey, i was going to have to comment on this sexist feminist twaddle but you said all that needed to be said.

    "Since we spend the most money, we should be making the most money"!!!jesus christ, put on your logic-goggles, you spoilt american princesses…!!

    :)

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