Am I Too Picky?

April 29, 2009 12:00 pm     Posted in Relationships  Lauren - University of Michigan g+ page

hairymanSomeone once told me that the reason I’m still single is because my standards are too high. I laughed in her face, flipping through a mental catalog of the disgusting creatures who’ve woken up in my bed.  “Au contraire,” I told her. “I think my standards are non existent.”


By Lauren

But last night, as I enjoyed a large DQ Blizzard while watching the latest drama on The Real Housewives of New York, I started reflecting on my dating past and why none of those boys are in my dating present. I grabbed a piece of paper (Ok, the back of a takeout menu…it was closer) and began listing all of the guys I’ve met/gotten naked with.

To my horror, the list had more dishes than the Chinese menu it was written on.

Next to each name I wrote down why that particular dude didn’t work out. Over half of the list consisted of “d-bag didn’t call me back,” or “don’t know his real name,” but the rest were my own doing. And after seeing it all written down on paper, I began to see my friend may have been right.

Reasons I’ve rejected boys:

- Too much body hair.
- Watched Fox news.
- Wears khaki cargo pants.
- Wears a pinkie ring.
- Too skinny.
- Jack rabbit sex.
- Says LOL and BRB online. And in person.
- Two words: Doc Martins.
- Gave me a UTI.
- Man boobs.
- Thick calves.
- Doesn’t know who Chelsea Handler is.
- Serious gambling and drug problem and now living at home with parents because he can’t be trusted alone.

Ok, so that last one is a pretty legitimate concern, but seeing the rest down on paper made me feel ridiculous. (And seeing it next to #C12 – Chicken Lo Mein – made me hungry.) Maybe my standards are too high when it comes to finding a boyfriend. Yes, my boom-boom-buddy standards consist merely of “will he get in a cab with me?” but I am unrealistically picky when it comes to something more.

Maybe a little body hair or some moobs (read: man boobs) aren’t such a bad thing; they’d definitely keep me warm on a cold, winter night. And, sure, the UTI was inconvenient (and could have killed me), but that wasn’t his fault, right?

I’m beginning to realize that maybe I wouldn’t spend so much time with DQ soft serve if I didn’t let such petty things get to me. A pinkie ring can be removed, but DQ on my thighs lasts forever.

I know I’m not the only one with a ridiculous list. What are some of the more absurd reasons you’ve rejected guys?

28 Comments on "Am I Too Picky?"

  1. Casey says:
    Wed, 29th Apr 20097:42 am 

    You broke up with a guy because he watched fox news? That is really pathetic that you let politics run your life THAT much. Jeez get a clue!

  2. Casey says:
    Wed, 29th Apr 20097:55 am 

    There are two girls named Casey? Awesome!

    Well, anyway… I like your writing style, and "doesn't know who Chelsea Handler is" made me laugh out loud.

  3. Alana- Boston Univer says:
    Wed, 29th Apr 20098:32 am 

    Haha I think we're all a little picky, just make sure your pickiness isn't costing you a great relationship. Wow, I wish I listened to my own advice, because I am really picky. Usually, I have a problem when guys are just too nice, which is horrible. That's something I need to work on.

    And hey, if the hairy guy was as disgusting as the guy pictured in this post, I think you made a good decision to dump him :)

  4. Samantha says:
    Wed, 29th Apr 20098:41 am 

    Alana – I have that problem with nice guys too! Which is… not awesome.

  5. Van Rubocon says:
    Wed, 29th Apr 20099:02 am 

    I have rejected guys for being too too sweet, for always knowing where I am without me telling them, because my heart is elsewhere and because although they appear to be very nice when I know otherwise, for being related to my exes, for being bi-polar because they want me to depend on them, I could go on forever , to sum it up because I love saying NO lol but really I think these are all legitimate reasons.

    http://freshvans.blogspot.com/

  6. Nina says:
    Wed, 29th Apr 20099:40 am 

    I've rejected guys who were too nice, too skinny, too sensitive, had red hair or, had no style.

  7. Becca- Clarion Unive says:
    Wed, 29th Apr 20099:48 am 

    Just as an FYI on the UTI part…

    you probably gave that one to yourself.

    pee don't cuddle girl!!!

  8. Raeann says:
    Wed, 29th Apr 200910:00 am 

    I once dumped a guy because he was a door mat. No man should let me tell him what to do.

  9. Jessica says:
    Wed, 29th Apr 200910:31 am 

    Um…I think "he watches fox news" is a legitimate reason. Well, he can watch it, but if he believes everything they say on that channel…I would definitely be running away.

    I've probably been the opposite in my past and have kept guys around when I shouldn't. Even when there were obvious things like "He's just a d-bag and everyone on the planet realizes is" or "he doesn't understand me…at all" or "he disappeared for 2 months and now wants to get back together…ok!" that should have been signs to dump their asses.

    It's better not to do that.

  10. g-nat says:
    Wed, 29th Apr 200910:33 am 

    I dated a really nice guy who bought me presents but he kissed like an octopus, his hands were everywhere and he sucked my face. ick.

  11. Ashleigh says:
    Wed, 29th Apr 20091:26 pm 

    i broke up with a guy because he used ~~~~ those marks when he typed online. i couldn't deal with it. so i totally understand how you feel. i think i'm probably too picky sometimes too.

  12. Gloria says:
    Wed, 29th Apr 20092:03 pm 

    Yeah, I see nothing wrong with rejecting someone due to their political beliefs or lack thereof.

    Why would you want to start anything with someone who has completely different view points than you and will most likely lead to unpleasant arguments?

    I wouldn't consider your life 'ruined' just because you didn't want one guy out of the bajillion out there ;)

  13. Jen says:
    Wed, 29th Apr 20093:20 pm 

    let's seeee…. I've dumped guys for being shorter than me, having a bird chest, being a methodone addict, a high school dropout, being TOO perfect (gorgeous navy man who takes care of his mother….no), being Jewish, offering to make me a weird dinner, having stupid ass tattoos, taking myspace-style pictures of himself, drunkenly falling on me timber-style. All good reasons. Except the Jewish reason… I'm just lookin to make Catholic babies.

  14. Rebecca says:
    Wed, 29th Apr 20095:46 pm 

    Good one!!!

  15. Ali - Syracuse Unive says:
    Wed, 29th Apr 20096:51 pm 

    haha I too would get rid of anyone who didnt know who Chels is! Not to mention her little lovebug Chuey!

  16. Ali - Syracuse Unive says:
    Wed, 29th Apr 20096:53 pm 

    PS creeeeeepy picture

  17. Joe the Drunk says:
    Wed, 29th Apr 20097:02 pm 

    Have you ever rejected a guy because he wouldn't have sex with you and kicked you out of the bed?

    you slut.

  18. sethb78 says:
    Thu, 30th Apr 20096:34 am 

    Whoa there, what in the H E double hockey sticks is wrong with wearing Dr. Martens?!?!?!

  19. olliart says:
    Thu, 30th Apr 200911:42 am 

    Haha great post – perhaps moobs and body hair arn’t such a bad thing but would you like to wake up to a hairy man breast every morning??? And I agree with the BRB & LOL part – if any man said LOL to something funny I said I’d be outta there and i wouldn’t BRB!!! =D

  20. Sarah says:
    Fri, 1st May 20099:37 am 

    :( @ number 7…

    My bf says "bee are bee" and other internet lingo in conversation sometimes. I think it's cute! It adds to his adorable, nerdy, internet-savvy personality. ^_^

  21. Jen says:
    Sat, 2nd May 20096:13 am 

    Hey Nina- can I have them? That sounds like my list of what I want. Well, accept the no style guy.

    Let's see: cause I still wasn't over my ex, cause he 'did not have emotions,' and not smart enough. Hey, I don't date a lot.

  22. valkyrie9 says:
    Sat, 2nd May 20095:39 pm 

    I've always thought that being overly picky is better than the opposite, despite everything the media tells us otherwise. It's better to be in no relationship than a bad one. (Or, if you're really far to the opposite extreme, an abusive one.)

    I seem to be characterized as either way too picky or not picky enough at all. I think it's because I'm not picky in the areas my friends seem to find important (i.e., looks) and yet I'm rather picky in areas most people don't care about. For example, as someone who is interested in politics I realized that I'd have difficulty dating someone who really sharply disagreed with me (I don't care if they, say, disagree on a few issues, but I'm talking complete opposite end of the spectrum here). Some of my friends who aren't into politics have trouble understanding this and think it's being too picky, because they don't understand how strained a relationship would be for me if the guy was voting for someone/something I thought would destroy the country ;) Likewise, though, I never understand when they reject a perfectly decent, intelligent, thoughtful guy who isn't drop-dead-gorgeous.

    So in essence: Picky is relative. If you're afraid you're being too picky, take some time to think about reasons you've rejected guys and reason out which things are truly big deals for YOU (forget what other people say) and which ones you might be stretching too far. Even for the things that are big deals, figure out if there's a place you draw the line. And don't forget – the consequences of being too picky are always way less dire than the consequences of not being picky enough ;)

  23. Diane says:
    Sun, 3rd May 200912:54 pm 

    I mean, I think it's easy to reject guys for reasons like too much body hair or too fat if really, deep down, theres just no chemistry. But if it's there, you'll be able to over look it. I vowed to never date a guy with chest hair but when I met the most amazing man of my life, covered in the thickest chest hair the middle east has to offer, I dug in!

  24. Joe the Drunk says:
    Sun, 3rd May 20095:27 pm 

    Yeah, I vowed to never have sex with a woman with chest hair, yet here I am two years later, happy as a clam!!!

  25. kdatx says:
    Tue, 5th May 20093:55 pm 

    Honestly, I have always been told I was so-called "too picky". In reality, I just thought and damn well knew that I deserved the best. Finally, I have found this so-called best… which was not what I had imagined whatsoever. When you find the person you care and love for unconditionally, things like pinky rings and khaki shorts become dust in the wind and you appreciate him even more for his quirks. I have never been happier. So, keep looking.. be picky.. you deserve the best!

  26. Inoue says:
    Sun, 10th May 20095:06 pm 

    You picky?

    Not at all, judging by your other post about sleeping with a man who already had a girlfriend because you were drunk and horny and viewed it as no problem on your part. Not to mention that you most likely still go out and find others to have random casual one night stands with.

    As the above poster said, "You deserve better", No you don't. You don't deserve anything because you are not looking for it. Make a list of what you desire in a man or a woman and then ask yourself:

    "Which of these things can I live with?"

  27. pteranodon says:
    Tue, 26th May 20091:51 pm 

    I had to google both Chelsea Handler and UTI, and with regard to the latter at least, I hate to tell you that he should not be on your list. Men don't give women UTI – women GET UTI from not following recommended hygienic advice,i.e. go pee after having sex! I thought every woman knows that.

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