The Transfer Blues
April 29, 2009 Posted in Reality
As the semester comes to an end, I can’t help but stress about the upcoming fall semester. In a few short weeks, I will be graduating from my two year community college with an associates degree and, come September, I will be walking onto unfamiliar territory at my new university.
Of course I am excited that I will no longer have to wake up 2 hours before my class to get onto 2 over-crowded and always-late buses to get to school. I will finally get to move out of my parents house and have what most people call the “real college experience.” I will, at last, get to prove to my parents that I can survive away from home.
However, I can’t help but be consumed by thoughts about various things relating to this upcoming experience.
First, there’s the whole roommate situation. I’ve never lived out of my house, let alone in a small room with a stranger. Thankfully, my friend who is transferring to the same uni as I has agreed to be my roommate. But I’m still a little nervous. I’m not used to sharing my space with anyone and I’ve heard that it is unwise to be roomies with your friends, as you may end up hating each other in the end. Will I end up calling my mom in tears after a giant fight with her over using up the milk?
Then there’s the thing about making new friends all over again. When you enter a new school as a transfer student, I feel like it’s more difficult than entering as a freshman because people will already know each other. They will have their friends already and I’ll just be that weird new girl that no one knows.
And then there’s the downside of living on campus. At a commuter community college, it doesn’t really matter if you hate your lab partner or classmate because you just have to deal with them for about three hours a week. But when home is the same place as school, there is no getting away. What if I have to live on the same floor as that annoying classmate and see them all. the. time?
Then come the parties and night life. Living with my kinda strict parents means that I don’t get to party as often as I can, and I definitely cannot stumble in after 4am reeking of a brewery and leading some drunken stranger from the bar into my room. Will I be able to handle the freedom that comes with leaving my parents? Or will I end up being labeled the “crazy-always-drunk-transfer-girl?”
There is so much going through my mind right now and I’m really freaking out. Anyone got any tips? Anyone else dealing with the transfer blues?
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K says:
Wed, 29th Apr 200910:05 am
i am dealing with it too! i'm transferring in the fall. i know people at the university but i'm so scared of the unknown roommate and also my parents were strict too so i think i might go freedom crazzyy there!
Chelsea says:
Wed, 29th Apr 200910:20 am
I was in the same boat a couple of years ago. I transferred from a community college to a university. It was scary at fist, but I got involved on campus by joining a sorority. Sororities may not be for everyone, but there are other organizations to join. Get involved and making friends will be a breeze. As for the roommate thing, the library is the perfect place to get away from them when things are crazy. Also crashing at a friends place is a good break. The whole going wild and crazy thing. Think before you do something. I went wild the first year, Had a blast, but i regret alot of the things I did when I was drunk. Have fun, bring back guys that you know, not ones you just met, use protection, and never publish pics of a crazy night on Facebook.Stay classy, be smart and things will be great!
Positively Present says:
Wed, 29th Apr 200911:13 am
I'm not dealing with the transfer blues personally, but, after my freshman year of college, I transfered from one big university to an even bigger one. It was definitely an adjustment, but, lucky for me, I was moving closer to home and in with a few friends from high school. My advice? Join something. I didn't do it, but I wish I had. Whether you're into a sorority/fraternity or a band or a club, it's really important to get involved in non-school activities around campus. It's a great way too meet people and I wish I'd done more of it when I transferred. Best of luck!
http://positivelypresent.typepad.com
somegirl says:
Wed, 29th Apr 20092:00 pm
my friends didn't get along when they first went to college and roomed together. it was pretty bad for the first one or two weeks. but then they worked it out. i think the biggest key is communication, and respecting each other's freedom to branch out, have different groups of friends, do different things while still being friends and hanging out once in a while. if you communicate about everything from the beginning you will work it out in the end. even just say to her, hey, i want to avoid having any problems because i value you as a friend, so let's agree to be honest (and non-threatening) with each other whenever there's an issue, and be open to compromise.
AmandaISU says:
Wed, 29th Apr 20092:21 pm
i transferred at the beginning of the spring semester, so i felt so nervous. i think it was hard because i came in the middle of the semester and everyone knew each other, so i was very lonely. however, i got along with my roommates (i have 3) and adjusted fairly well. it definitely is a change, though!
Liza - University of says:
Wed, 29th Apr 20093:18 pm
You're just like a college freshman! These are a lot of the same fears I was having last summer…It will be FINE. A big change, and a learning curve, yeah, but it will all be okay in the end. Fights with roommates, weird people, and adjusting to the nightlife are all inevitable, but you'll do great! Things will work out
Charmaine says:
Wed, 29th Apr 20096:46 pm
First i have to say is that… you guys are lucky to have such a "real college experience". I've never lived in the dorm while i was in college. What i did was commute back and forth. But one of my best friend had experienced at the dorm life, but she moved back home after 2 months. She hated her roommates, couldn't get along with her. But she managed to wake herself up 2 hours early for school.
Lily says:
Thu, 30th Apr 200912:28 pm
it really depends on what college you are transferring to.
some are really transfer friendly like the big ones because even though your a transfer everyone gets kinda lost in the crowd so its not that hard to meet people. then theres the small colleges where everyone knows everyone and you will def be "that transfer girl" until you join something.
JOIN SOMETHING!
Don't let the fear of falling behind in school work or not finding the right clique keep you away from joining something! Club, sport, sorority do it and do it fast cause thats the best way to meet people
Mwiza (zambia) says:
Thu, 30th Apr 20098:13 pm
Cnt realy say i ever went through that but i gues i cn equate your experience to going to boarding school though atleast there the were rules. I sufferd wit the whole roommate thing it was terrible the up in your stuf the finish your soap etc the break your iron until enough is enough bt hec i survivd. I gues to sum it up you wil b ok as long as you remeber who you are any why you went to that university o college remeber where you frm and o the pipo who would kil for your opportunites. So b wise careful on the parties n the drinking those could b a nasty downfal. AL THE BEST TO U GOING TO START NEW LIVES
Jess says:
Sat, 9th May 20094:20 pm
don't stress too much!! transferring can be scary in the beginning, but after the first couple of weeks you will start feeling comfortable and getting into the swing of things. it's true that it can be a little annoying living and working in the same place and seeing certain people from your classes all the time, but it can also create a really nice sense of community. it's nice to see familiar faces, and when you're in a new place it's comforting to just have people to say hello to.
in terms of roommates, it really depends on the kind of relationship you have with your friend. if you're both generally independent and capable of making friends on your own and doing separate activities, you should be fine. most of the problematic situations i've heard of come from roommates who do EVERYTHING together and then live in the same tiny room. it gets annoying, and you start noticing the most random things about them. every relationship needs a certain amount of space to stay healthy, so just try to remain independent and it will make your room a fun, safe space to share stories about your day.
the partying thing is something tricky, but it's an invaluable experience to learn your limits. college is the perfect time for that! and don't worry about people labeling you the crazy drunk girl…there will always be a lot of people making drunken mistakes, so even if you do have an embarrassing night, it will be forgotten by the following weekend. just try to go out with people you trust and pay attention to how you feel before it's too late and you're out of control. but have fun! you're only in college once
join some clubs, enjoy your classes, be friendly, and HAVE FUN!! good luck!
BabyBear says:
Tue, 12th May 20092:58 am
You guys are over-thinking this. Just enjoy the fact that you’re transfering and get to enjoy the college life…and not about to be thrown into the horrendous work force in this economy. Accept this for what it is: a freakin’ blessing. Stop obsessing, and if you’re obsessing then you’re not in such a bad sit in my view.
Have fun worriers!
poop says:
Sat, 4th Jun 201112:41 am
I'm about to transfer and going by my mistakes at my old school, i'd say GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM. That was the biggest problem for me. Work in the studios (if it's an arty kinda school), hit the gym and be friendly (stretching is a good time to chat), chill outside on the lawn; when you're doing homework, try to do it in the library instead of your dorm room. Head to the dining hall when it's busy and you think you might run into someone you know….sit with them, meet their friends, network network network.
smallgirlvsbigworld says:
Thu, 25th Aug 201112:01 pm
I just transferred to Florida Atlantic University from my much smaller school in Connecticut, entering my junior year. Not only do I not know a single soul in my dorm or school, everyone I've ever met is at least 1300 miles away. Fresh start doesn't begin to cover it. As far as the transfer blues, just don't spend your time wallowing in them; and the best way to do that and make new friends is to distract yourself by getting involved!
What's helped me so far is just wondering around campus trying to be friendly and check out where all the major buildings are. Also, grab an events calendar from the student union or your dorm office and highlight anything that even remotely interests you. Bonfires, frat/sorority recruitment, fitness classes, any campus group sponsored entertainment.. Show up with a smile and leave your fear behind you.
I'm on my fourth day of classes and haven't made too many friends but I can already say I'm friendly with a few people. And I have no doubts that joining a group/sport and staying upbeat and friendly will attract more of the same energy from others.
Most Important: don't worry! This isn't high school where everyone knows everyone. It's college where there are hundreds or thousands (Depending on the school's size) of new students every semester, and even for the people who aren't knew – you can never have too many friends. =]
Embody Your Aspirations,
SmallGirl