(Earth Friendly) Things That Make Me Go “Ew”

I’m all for being green and helping to save the planet in our my own way. I always recycle empties and I even reuse old print-outs for taking notes in class. But there are some things out there that take things a bit too far. And by “too far,” I mean, “totally gross me out and make me want to vomit in my mouth a little.”

Surely, the planet can be saved without going to these lengths:

1.  Recycled Animal Poo Products – One company collects elephant dung, washes it, and uses it to make pretty recycled-paper stationery.  Another makes “poopourri” in the same sort of way from sheep poo.  Interesting idea, but icky.  I don’t care if it’s washed and sanitized, I don’t want my apartment smellin’ like sheep poo.  Plus, what would someone think if you sent your birthday invites on poo paper?

2.  Reusable Toilet Wipes - Exactly what it sounds like.  Basically, they are cloth wipes that you use when you go to the bathroom… and then wash and reuse.  But where do you put them before you have a chance to get home to wash them? And how do you explain to house guests that you don’t have TP, but they can feel free to wipe themselves with that little napkin next to the toilet? And how would you TP your neighbor’s house for Halloween? So many questions, not to mention the gross-out factor of washing those things with your sheets and towels.

3.  Reusable Menstrual Products - There’s the menstrual cup, washable pads, and sea-sponge tampons, all of which you can use, wash, and reuse. And all of which pose the same icky problems for me as the reusable toilet wipes.  I know that paper/cotton tampons and pads aren’t eco-friendly at all, but none of these alternatives are appealing. Unless you consider shoving a Tupperware cup in your vajay and then fishing it out to empty it every few hours appealing.

4.  Condoms - I’m skeptical, but some people claim that animal-membrane condoms, like lambskin condoms, are washable and reusable as well.  I really, really hope this isn’t true… the last thing I want to be doing after sex is running to the bathroom to wash the condom out. Actually, the last thing I want is sheep’s membrane going anywhere near my happy place.  Plus, just an FYI for you guys, lambskin condoms are safe for preventing pregnancy, not STDs.

5.  Multiple-Use Toiletries - No, I don’t mean like the Shampoo/Conditioner combos; I’m talking about products like Dr. Bronner’s Liquid Soap that claim to have “18-in-1 Uses,” ranging from shampoo and body wash, to household cleaner or even toothpaste.  Ok, maybe this stuff is alright as a body wash or something – it is organic–but anything that can wash my hair AND clean my bathroom floor definitely doesn’t belong on my teeth.  Gross.

Do you guys know of any other strange “green” products?