Bristol Palin (Now) Thinks Abstinence is “The Only Way”

May 6, 2009 - 12:00 pm By CC Staff

Bristol IntroThis morning on Good Morning America, hypocrite Bristol Palin discussed her plan to push an “abstinence-only” message on teens. She couldn’t quite explain how abstinence got her where she is today (with, ahem, a child at age 18), but she was very confident that “abstinence is the only way you can effectively, 100%, prevent pregnancy.”

Props to B. Palin for that brilliant realization (and for basically admitting being a mom sucks), but since, as she said herself just weeks ago, “abstinence is unrealistic,” why don’t we figure out a more-um-successful way to stay child-free, while still satisfying our libidos.

Enter: Birth Control!!

Crazy, right? This stuff comes in all sorts of forms: patches, IUDs, condoms, looking at teen mothers trying to care for their kids and realizing how much less fun life would be with a child… Oh, and the pill, which, when taken correctly (not a difficult feat to accomplish if you can swallow a pill), is 99.9% effective. Certainly more effective than preaching abstinence…and then having unprotected sex with your hockey playing boyfriend in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness. And most of the pills now come in pretty packaging! (Yaz has a tidy blue suede case with fun stickers that help you stay on track and turn birth control into a fun craft project).

Of course, we all (should) know that hormonal contraception doesn’t prevent against narsty STDs, so, unless you and your sex-bud have been tested and are exclusively hookin’ up, please use condoms too! I can tell you from looking at some pretty graphic books that Syphilis ain’t pretty. Neither is abandoning your education to raise a child on welfare and food stamps. So instead of shooting moose, go get yourself some nooky. Because, like Ms. Bristol once said, not getting any is just “unrealistic.”

Just remember to pop that very important pill first.

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22 Comments on "Bristol Palin (Now) Thinks Abstinence is “The Only Way”"

  1. Casey says:
    Wed, 6th May 20091:26 pm 

    Seriosuly, isn’t everyone now a days a hypocrite? She just changed her mind there’s nothing wrong with that. And yes, abstinence is the only 100% effective for of birth control, that is scientifically proven. Is it realistic, no. But She is speaking the truth.

  2. Jenn says:
    Wed, 6th May 20092:20 pm 

    @Casey: Nope, I’m pretty sure I’m not a hypocrite. Nor is it a requirement of people who have some level of fame (if you can call Bristol “famous”). Sticking by your beliefs isn’t that difficult to do if you’re an honest, down-to-earth person.

    She probably just “changed her mind” because it was more convenient to support the conservative, family-friendly view.

  3. Lauren - University of Michigan says:
    Wed, 6th May 20092:27 pm 

    Amen, Jenn. Amen.
    Mama Palin won’t be babysitting Tripp as long as Bristol is out there challenging her stance on things.

  4. Emily says:
    Wed, 6th May 20095:14 pm 

    The whole Palin family makes me sick. Family values? Ohmygosh. I mean, it’s nice that Hockey Mom loves ALL her kids equally, including the disabled ones, but where was she to teach Bristol about abstinence OR birth control? Either one would have worked and Bristol could have made it thru college without being a divorced or never-wed miserable mom. Great role model for the rest of us, huh? Bristol will be abstaining? Yeah, right! There are more appropriate words for Bristol than hypocrite, but they’re libelous, so I’ll abstain.

  5. Emily says:
    Wed, 6th May 20095:34 pm 

    Taking the pill correctly in the way that keeps it 99.9% effective requires a little more than just taking it, but otherwise, I really couldn’t agree more with what you said.

  6. maria says:
    Wed, 6th May 20096:11 pm 

    Look, if it was the kid of a democrat, no one would give a shit. She’s a Palin, so obviously regardless of what she does, you people are going to disagree with it. The liberal undertones of this website are unbelievable. People are allowed to support abstinence as birth control, even if they’ve already made a mistake and had a baby. It’s a free country.

    And this is all coming from someone who is on the pill. It’s an individual choice, so don’t criticize her for it.

  7. Erin says:
    Wed, 6th May 20097:59 pm 

    Look anytime someone supports something as stupid as Abstinence as a form of birth control people are going to think that that person is a moron. Why? Because clearly it does not work. People need to realize that it’s just preaching not actually learning. Yes it is a choice but, it’s not working it’s time to change, just like when people thought the world was flat we need to move on and help youth to make better choices about their bodies. STD’s and the real truth about birth control need to be taught, regardless of parents opinions, it’s a health issue.

  8. Melissa says:
    Wed, 6th May 20099:07 pm 

    Why can’t abstinence be the answer? I understand you criticizing her being a hypocrite, but why criticize abstinence? I mean, Erin, you called it stupid and there’s definitely tones in the post that you don’t think it is a realistic option. Well you know what, it is. Yeah, it takes work, but life isn’t always about satisfying our every desire. I’m still a virgin and practicing abstinence even through long term relationships (my last ex and I dated for two and a half years). It’s not a stupid option; it works and it protects me emotionally as well.

  9. Tori says:
    Wed, 6th May 200910:11 pm 

    100 percent with ya, Melissa.

  10. Ayla says:
    Wed, 6th May 200910:12 pm 

    I don’t think anyone here is saying that abstinence can’t work as a personal choice. But can you really say that it’s been effective as a POLICY? I don’t think so; not if you think honestly about it and look at the statistics. Looking at the population as a whole, abstinence-only education has not worked, so clearly it’s time to try something else. Countries with comprehensive education programs have, not only lower rates of teen pregnancy, but higher rates of abstinence! IIRC, the average age for an America teen girl to lose her virginity is 15; in Sweden the average is 17.

  11. Casey says:
    Wed, 6th May 200910:59 pm 

    Jenn, Uh yeah right, people are hypocrites in their everyday lives and don’t even realize it. I see it every. single. day. My coworker yesterday “Damn! I hate when people walk right out into traffic!” 30 minutes later what did he do? walked right out into traffic. Maybe you’re not a hypocrite on major things, like Bristol, (or maybe it’s just that you’re not famous and your every word isn’t recorded) but I’m pretty sure you’ve said something hypocritical at some point in your life.

    And really, Bristol is famous no matter how she got there. And actually, she got there because of people like you trashing her and her family.

    She’s how old? 18? She doesn’t know what the hell she believes because she’s never been out on her own away from her parents influence. But now that she’s had a kid and realizes that it’s not a walk in the park she probably changed her views and wished she remained abstinent. She said abstinence is the only 100% effective way to prevent pregnancy, and duh! She’s right!

    But like I said in my original post, it’s not realistic. I’m not endorsing an abstinence only education (so get the fuck off my case!) I’m just trying to show her as what she is, AN IMPRESSIONABLE TEENAGER WHO CHANGES HER MIND!

    I agree with Melissa, life isn’t SUPPOSED to be easy. Otherwise we wouldn’t have issues like this. You girls just want whatever you want whenever you want it without repercussions. And I think you’re going to have a very rude awakening some day.

  12. Erin says:
    Wed, 6th May 200911:11 pm 

    Melissa I do agree that it does protect you, it does not protect some people. Forinstance young people who end up not being able to live up to such a high standard in self control, they are after all human. While I myself am in a long term relationship and engage in sex with my boyfriend, I do respect your rights, I may not like them, I don’t have to, but I respect your choice as much as you, I think, respect mine to go to planned parent hood to get affordable birth control. Abstinence only will never work, like i just said it will work for some but for the majority it will not.

  13. Erin says:
    Wed, 6th May 200911:16 pm 

    I never called her a hypocrite there are lots of things I love to call her, that is not one. She is misguided and pitiful. She is caught in a tangled web of her mothers politics, the media, and teenage pregnancy. She should never have been dragged into the media, that is the last thing a pregnant teenage girl needs. I feel bad for her because she should have been able to live a regular life, bringing up her child in relative peace not in front of the world.

  14. Lily says:
    Wed, 6th May 200911:21 pm 

    Ha ha! I think people just see the name “Casey” at the top of a post and immediately take offense and start bashing her/ arguing with her.

    But she’s right, the only reason anyone on this site is paying attention to Bristol is because she’s conservative, and since this site is extremely liberal, any opportunity they can find to make fun of a conservative in the media they will take advantage of it.

    Liberals say some pretty stupid shit too, but you wont find anyone making fun of them on this site.

  15. Annie says:
    Wed, 6th May 200911:31 pm 

    Ayla is exactly right on this.
    Of course people can choose abstinence as a personal choice! As a policy, however, it isn’t effective. Just look at the statistics. When kinds are told not to have sex, its just one more rule in their lives that they are probably going to break. When they are taught how to have sex safely, it doesn’t seem preachy and is far more effective. Abstinence should be taught side-by-side with other forms of birth control; after all, its nearly 100% effective. =)

    I don’t want to criticize Bristol here. She was stupid about her sexual life and now she realizes it, so on afterthought abstinence seems like a good idea. I’m sure most young mothers don’t want to have sex for a long, long time.

    I’d like to add that this hypocrisy, what about Miss California?

  16. Annie says:
    Wed, 6th May 200911:31 pm 

    Oops. *Speaking of hypocrisy, what about Miss California?

  17. Melissa says:
    Sat, 9th May 200911:13 pm 

    Thank you you guys for agreeing with me. While I feel that abstinence should be the only answer, I do respect your opinions and at least understand where you’re coming from. I mean, I grew up with an abstinence only education and it worked for me. It’s a culture thing though as well. If we tell people that abstinence isn’t a realistic solution, are they gonna view it as one, or are they going to take the easier route? You know, that’s what I worry about, that if there’s so much criticism of it out there, it will make people feel like it’s not a realistic option for them, especially because it is viewed by a lot of people in a lesser light. And people assume you’re doing things. When I changed from college and high school and people found out how long I had been dating my boyfriend, most of them assumed I had been to at least third base, when that is anything but true you know? It’s built into our culture that you have to be having sex and there is definitely a pressure or like there’s something wrong with you if you’re in a long term relationship and you’re abstinent, which leads me to feel like no wonder people don’t think it’s a realistic option – I don’t want to be looked down upon for a personal choice.

    And as a side note, from your statement about girls Casey, that gives me the impression you might be male? Totally may be wrong on that. I know though that my actions have consequences. There are girls who recognize that. Sex isn’t meant to be had with no strings attached, at least I feel. There are too many possible physical and emotional problems that can happen. And I’ve seen too many people hurt.

    And I can tell you, as a conservative, that it’s not just in the media we get bashed, it’s in real life too. I don’t think people realize that I have as much of a right to my opinion on a subject like this as a person with a differing opinion has. At least that’s my feel on it. I always feel like I’m being told to be tolerant of their opinions, but there’s not always a lot of tolerance left for me. And I’m not saying anything personal against you guys, because I think we’ve all been very respectful towards each other and for that I am truly appreciative.

    And Annie, at least what you have said about how most young mothers don’t want to have sex for a long, long time is true at least in my experience. I know one of my best friends had a baby in December and I ended up being asked for advice by both her and her boyfriend because he really wanted to keep having sex and she was like no way, because of everything that happened.

  18. Casey says:
    Sun, 10th May 200911:53 pm 

    Haha! Melissa I think it’s funny that you thought I was a guy, because I figured I would get that a lot more often from the comments I make, but no, I am in fact a girl (although I think i’m greatly lacking in estrogen lol). But no I do agree with everything you said. I was brought up with an abstinence only education and, had I not been raped by my boyfriend when I was 13, I would likely still be a virgin. (I chose to continue to have sex, because I felt if god had allowed my virginity to be taken from me like that than being abstinent must not have been THAT big of a deal to him) I think I was wrong about that, and I feel I was given a test and failed, but I’m sure all that sounds crazy so I’ll digress.

    Melissa, I commend you on your choice, I think you are a lot stronger than the majority of the human population. I mean you must be since you can withstand temptation like that. So Congrats on your achievements. I look up to you.

  19. Miss Lissy says:
    Tue, 12th May 20097:56 pm 

    Casey, I think we would be pretty good friends if we knew each other outside of this little blog commenting deal. I don’t think it sounds crazy at all. You know, it’s never too late to go back to being abstinent if that’s what you want.

    And thanks, I really appreciate that. I didn’t write down my thoughts to be commended or anything, I wrote them down to give the other side. And I may be strong for that, but everyone has something that they fall down in you know? But thank you, very much. I hope I am someone worthy of your looking up to.

    (PS – scared to put this out there, but you’re cool. If you want to stay in touch, my blog is collegesuitcase.wordpress.com )

  20. Miss Lissy says:
    Tue, 12th May 20097:58 pm 

    That was Melissa by the way – I’m logged in and posting from my blog account.

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