5 Things I Learned from Carrie Prejean

miss-ca-nakedWe all want Miss California to go away. Like Mark from Road Rules season 1 (who is, like, 40 and is still doing those Real World/Road Rules Challenges), she just won’t disappear. Not that it’s entirely her fault; we media peeps love writing about a scandal, and this girl is drowning in it.

First she comes out against gay marriage. Fine. She can have her opinions – we’re totally in support of that. But then we find out her boobs were purchased for her by the Miss California people. And then she wanted to milk her D-List fame a little more by starting a movement against gay marriage nationally. Oh, and now there are nudey photos circulating the web.

I normally tend to spend my time bashing people in the limelight because it is the only thing that makes me feel good without going directly to my ass (like my BFF, the McFlurry), but I’m already eating a McFlurry today, so I’m feelin groovy. And optimistic. And charitable.

So I am going to go out on a limb here and try to find some good in this Miss California sh*tshow. Namely, the lessons we can take away from it. Because she may not be the brightest bulb (“I love to live in a country where you can choose normal marriage or opposite marriage…”), but her dumb mistakes are worth learning from.

1. Don’t do pageants: They won’t catapult you to the fame you’d like them to (because 3 people watch them), and most Americans really don’t care or respect the women who take part in them. You are better off competing on Rock of Love (just look at Daisy!) than to spend thousands of dollars on hair, makeup, dresses (and boobs) for a pageant.

2. Stay Out of the Spotlight: I have longed to be famous since I made the crowd LOL during the candle lighting at my Bat Mitzvah. Seeing how the media has treated Ms. Prejean, though, I am beginning to have second thoughts. There are a lot of skeletons in my closet (and on my Google thread) that would be quickly exposed by the hundreds of enemies I have made in my 20-ish years on this planet. And don’t even get me started on the embarrassing photos. Let’s just say that life is a whole lot simpler when no one knows or cares enough about you to get the world to hate you.

3. Giant Fake Diamond Encrused Earrings Are Not Cute: Really, it’s just too much. Unless you are Flava Flav.

4. Stop Taking Naked Photos, PEOPLE: I would understand if Ms. California had taken some sexy shots in her early years to send to some thick-necked, tattooed boyfriend (because that is the kind of guy I imagine she’d like), but this princess took these knowing she’d be competing to represent her state in front of the entire country. Ok, so the 3 people who actually care. Anyways, the photo (and soon to be multiple photos) circulating the web is just further proof that no cameras should be present when nips, booty and other lady parts are exposed. That sh*t will get passed around, people (especially if you decide not to learn lessons #1 and #2), and everyone will finally know if your carpet matches your drapes.

5.  Don’t Piss off the Gay People: Those fabulous fashionistas can make or break you. You piss them off and you. are. dunzo.

I raise my empty McFlurry cup to you, Miss California, for teaching me what many other hot mess celebrities before you never could!



    1. K says:

      IT IS HER! she even comfirmed it and lied about when it was taken. she said the pics were taken when was 17 when clearly it was taken after she got her boobs done

    2. Lauren - University says:

      Thanks, Casey! I'm glad you're starting to become a fan! It always takes people a bit to warm up to me, but soon you are going to be calling and texting and wondering how you ever lived without me.

    3. D says:

      1.)She was modeling in those photos.

      2.)They aren’t “nude” you can see a smidge of the side of her boob, everything else is covered. I go to the beach and see people more revealing.

      3.)Why are we focusing on this? She wasn’t running naked through the street and wasn’t staring in hard core freaking porn. The fact that this is an issue at all is hilarious. Apparently to be a beauty pageant contestant you have to look like a sex toy come true but act like the virgin Mary.

      That being said I agree with 1 and 3 completely.

    4. Kendall says:

      D has a point. Why are these girls made to look like slutty bimbos (there's a freakin' bathing suit parade involved) but if you see her bare back it's a scandal? Either way she's a whore in various definitions.

    5. KS says:

      D- That is only one photo, there are others that show full nudity. It was definitely not a modeling job.

    6. Casey says:

      I don’t think that nude picture looks like her at all, It’s probably a look-a-like trying to make her look bad. I would like to see the other photos you speak of so we can really know for sure.

      But I think this is the first article I have read of yours that wasn’t completely in bad taste, so congrats!

    7. J says:

      The number one thing I have learned from Carrie Prejean is that I DON'T CARE.

    8. Emily says:

      5. Don’t Piss off the Gay People: Those fabulous fashionistas can make or break you. You piss them off and you. are. dunzo.

      hmmmm good job stereotyping.

    9. D. says:

      J: ahahah. I'm with you. Seriously who cares about this girl?

      (Not the same D as above)

    10. Annie says:


      The reason I think its a big deal is that she's selling herself as a hardcore conservative Christian. Posing in a swimsuit for a pageant and posing topless in lacy pink underwear are two very different things, and I don't think anyone should be able to take her seriously now.

    11. sauer kraut says:

      the pics are not "nude." if you wanna see nude you need to look at what rappers Cassie and Rihanna have circulating about. and it's not as if Prejean posed for a porno mag like her biggest detractor in the pageant did.

      too much ado about not much.

    12. gertrudemcfuzz says:

      It shouldn't matter where you are and what you do in life what we should all learn from her is not to sell out our values for something frivilious.

      THen there is a freedom of speech issue.That homo shouldn't ask questions he doesn;t want to hear other's opinions on.

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    14. molly says:

      you shouldn't read blogs you don't want read non-bigoted articles on.

    15. criolle johnny says:

      Which side has the biggest hypocrites?

      CP is a born again with plastic breasts.

      The Gay judge WANTED to use the "C" word, but "censored" himself to call her a "bitch".

      No uproar from the feminist mafia about his ms-treatment of her.

      He gets a "gay"t-out-jail-free card that no straight guy would get.

      The problem isn't that he's gay … he's an asshole. It's what he does for a living.

    16. michelle says:

      well now we know the nude pics exist.

    17. Kaylee Lopez says:

      Carrie Prejean deserves to have her crown. She is beauiful and is also entitled to her own opinion about gays. ,'

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