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The 10 Least Snooze-Worthy Graduation Speakers
May 12, 2009 Posted in Buzz
Graduation may be an exciting milestone, but the ceremony itself is far from memorable for most people. Not only is sitting in a cap and gown for three straight hours uncomfortable (especially when it’s hot and that itchy rayon is rubbing against your neck), but the speeches are boring… and they go on forever. Oh, and leaving college is incredibly depressing.
But that whole “boring speech” thing isn’t the case for some lucky graduating classes. Yes, there are a select few schools in this country that had some pretty bomb diggity commencement speakers this year. Speakers who make me sorta wish I could sit through a three hour ceremony getting a weird tanline on my forehead from that ridiculous cap I’d be forced to wear.
Below is a list of the most bad ass commencement speakers of 2009. See, it’s not so bad being the class of ’09!
1) Notre Dame – THE PRESIDENT!!
2) Duke – Ms. Oprah “Free KFC” Winfrey.
3) St. Rose College – Jimmy Fallon (Ok, so he’s not the best at the late night gig, but anyone who can get some laughs during a grad ceremony has my vote.)
4) University of California, Merced – Michelle Obama (Maybe she let students in on her tricep secrets?!)
5) Marshall University – Chad Pennington…who most likely gave his speech through a megaphone.
6) UCLA – James Franco
7) Bucknell – Elie Wiesel (Holocaust Survivor and Nobel Peace Prize Winner)
8 ) Barnard, NYU – Hilary Clinton (Inspirational, motivational, and all done in some monochromatic pantsuit.)
9) University of Michigan - Google Co-Founder and world changer, Larry Page (Those students owe their entire education/abilities to stalk to this genius!)
10) Florida A&M – Bill Clinton (Who probably also partied it up with the students post-ceremony.)
I’m not exactly looking forward to that May day in 2011 when I’ll be sweating myself into oblivion under the hot Durham sun and saying hello to the big, bad real world. But, hey, if any of the guests above (or, um, Josh Holloway from Lost) make it to my graduation, I probably won’t be complaining!
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Casey says:
Tue, 12th May 20099:22 am
The only ones who would interest me would be James Franco (ok why was he a speaker at a graduation?) And Elie Wiesel. Otherwise, I doubt I would have showed up for my graduation.
brittney says:
Tue, 12th May 20099:25 am
ASU has the president speaking too!
tedbow00 says:
Tue, 12th May 20099:32 am
It's obvious you are some liberal who is stuck up the presidents a$$ even though he might possibly be running the country into the dirt, after Bush already did it, but I can understand him being on this list because he is a good speaker and he is the freaking president. Here's what I don't get, why the hell would anyone want to listen to Michelle Obama or Hillary Clinton do a commencement speech? I believe I would rather be castrated! As for Bill Clinton, the only way I would want to hear his speech is if he was doing his impression of Phil Hartman doing his impression of Bill Clinton.
Alex says:
Tue, 12th May 200910:00 am
UCLA's commencement speaker is James Franco because he graduated last year from UCLA. It's caused some controversy among students, some feel he's more than qualified, because he graduated while maintaining a high GPA and while making movies that influenced (took over?) mainstream culture. Others feel that he has only been an alumnus for a year, and hasn't had the world experience or gained the wisdom needed to impart on the graduating class. We'll see how it goes when they graduate in June!
C says:
Tue, 12th May 200912:37 pm
GW – Rahm Emmanuel, who will probably (hopefully) swear copiously throughout the speech
Casey says:
Tue, 12th May 200911:48 am
Well, whatever he's there for, I don't care what he says I'd just love to look at him.
Casey says:
Tue, 12th May 200911:49 am
and Tedbow00, obviously she's a liberal. Almost this entire site is. DUH! But you don't have to be an ass.
Natalie says:
Tue, 12th May 200912:14 pm
What about University of Tennessee? We had Dolly Parton! Haha
Mazuba says:
Tue, 12th May 20093:53 pm
Michelle Obama is a very intelligent woman and so is Hilary Clinton .Why is teebow hating ?We need to support other inspiring women.
Liz says:
Tue, 12th May 20095:34 pm
I agree with Mazuba however I wonder why no one wanted to support Sarah Palin? I had never seen so much bashing in my life for one woman.
sauerkraut says:
Tue, 12th May 20096:52 pm
Liz – Palin pretty much deserves the "bashing" which she's gotten. Ever listen to her? It's painful. Every smart woman I know dislikes her greatly. Why? Because she makes them look bad. She's the female equivalent of GW, except that she's got looks and boobs. That's why all those white dudes in the GOP get all excited about her. But even the conservative women I know dislike her. She's not like them at all.
As for the anti-obamaite… his nose is so far up gw's butt that he cannot see reality.
btw – Obama is at Notre Dame. There will be plenty of noise up there from both sides of the abortion issue.
http://run4chocolate.wordpress.com
Liz says:
Tue, 12th May 200910:25 pm
I never stated wheather or not I agreed with Palin's politics, I simply pointed out the fact that no one supported her as a strong independant woman who was going after her goals. Reguardless of her appearance and/or opinions I think she should be admired at the very least for ability to stand by her convictions and quite possibly for the fact that she actually wanted to make a difference in our government. Not many people can say they have done as much. If nothing else admire her strength.
Steph says:
Wed, 13th May 20097:11 am
Syracuse University got Joe Biden! He's a pretty cool dude.
Claudia says:
Wed, 13th May 20098:10 am
Tulane University- Ellen!
ally says:
Mon, 1st Jun 20091:35 pm
where is Rahm Emanuel??
Tobamel says:
Mon, 8th Jun 200912:30 pm
Maybe Franco making the commencement speech at UCLA is like the actor from Harry Potter making the commencement speech for his own high school…
sahrose says:
Fri, 12th Jun 20094:04 pm
I would want Mother Theresa, if she wasn't already too-far-graduated to do any more good. These people – umm, speakers – should be ashamed of themselves, charging money for the honor of corrupting crowds of mindless benumbed creatures half their age. Michele Obama and her husband have made the presidency a lottery that they've won, and are out to cash in on everything. well, low-bred people like that you would expect to act that way, no matter where they are now. But people with some class should know better. unfortunately, who has any dignity left these days.. anyone?