The Hills: Everyone Gets Kicked to the Curb

By Lauren

After watching some weird 80’s flashback episode of Gossip Girl, I was hoping for something a little more…er… modern entertaining when it came to The Hills last night. And besides that weird sequins headband thingy that Steph wore (and that I also wore in 1994 to a dance recital) MTV came through for me once again.

Unlike last week’s episode where nothing really happened, there was a whole lot of action last night. And everyone was at work! This is only the 2nd time we’ve seen anyone working this season. The cast has been too busy jet-setting to get anything done and I really sorta forgot that people in L.A. even have jobs. I figured they just celebrated birthday parties, went clubbing and stayed in fancy resorts in Hawaii year round.

Anyways, people were working. And people, lots of people, were getting the boot.

First there was Steph who chose a lunch date over her job responsibility. Now, I’m sure Steph is good at some things in her life (like causing drama and doing drugs), but having a job isn’t one of them. I mean, isn’t she an intern? Since when do interns get lunch breaks? When I was interning last summer I had to ask permission to pee. And one time that permission wasn’t granted and I had a little, mini, teeny, tiny accident in my pants. The girl was all worried about wearing a professional heel to work, yet she’s not nearly as worried about actually getting her job done. WTF, Steph!?

Then there was Stacie, who randomly had Heidi’s cell phone number and interrupted her busy work week (she really needed a manicure!) by asking her to come to her dirty bar. At first I wasn’t sure why she wanted to have a conversation with Heidi while she was working….in front of other people…. but then I realized she probably wanted witnesses in case Heidi started pulling her hair. Or going all Tony Soprano on her. But that’s not the point. The point is that Stacie doesn’t think Spencer is “worth it.” Personally, I don’t think Spencer is worth anything, but what is Stacie talking about? They aren’t friends! Fighting over Spencer isn’t costing either of them anything, so why does she care to put the situation behind her?

The last kid to get kicked to the curb (where I’m pretty sure he sleeps at night) was Justin Bobby. And I have one thing to say: FINALLY! I was actually pretty proud of Audrina for sitting down and just saying her peace. I’ve been there, honey, and while I think JB looks like a sidewalk dweller, I know how it is to be sucked back in by a guy that you love. So way to be, Audrina! And way to make him chase you. And way to make him say ridiculous things like, “Yeah you go through your little gates.” It made me laugh. He was just so angry!

Let’s just hope JB doesn’t make any cameos the rest of the season. And let’s hope Steph goes apesh*t when Lauren fires her. Oh, and maybe sometime in the near future Spencer Pratt might start rapping?! Ugh. Who woulda thought that would be the one to come true?!