Can We Really “Have It All”?

May 18, 2009     Posted in Reality

frustrated-woman2


By Carrie

Senior year in high school I was on a champion volleyball team, had a cute boyfriend, surrounded myself with fabulous friends, but did absolutely zero homework (Senioritis proved to be a seriously dangerous disease).

Freshman year in college I had decent grades, tons of extra-currics, loads of buddies, but didn’t go on a single date.

This year I worked for the newspaper, had a few flings, but also had a GPA that took a bit of a plunge.

All of this got me thinking: can you really “have it all”? Our generation has been taught over and over again that we can do anything and everything we want as long as we try, but is that really true? Is it possible to balance stellar grades, awesome friends, your fave hobbies, a significant other, and a healthy bod with only 24 hours in a day? (By the way, this is just my idea of “it all.” Yours may vary greatly.)

After 20 years of trying and constantly feeling like I’m failing in some capacity, I have officially given up. It may sound cynical, but I’ve decided it’s simply impossible to have it all. At least at the same time…and to a fulfilling degree. When I try to add something in – like a new love interest – something else always gets pushed to the back burner, leaving me defending myself against my friends or fighting to keep my head above water in my classes.

There is just never enough time.

So instead of constantly being unsatisfied and obsessing about how that one (or many) thing(s) in my life is missing, I’ve trying to focus on what I do have at the moment. Quality, not quantity—right?!?

Because the thing is, even when I think I finally “have it all,” I always manage to find something else that’s missing, and the circle of dissatisfaction (called life) continues. (Remember when you said that after you got into college, you would be happy forever, your life would be fulfilled, and you would never complain again? And then remember the week after you got accepted when you were whining about not receiving the housing information fast enough? Yea. I thought so.)

I’ve tried many tactics to keep myself satisfied. I’ve tried to stop comparing myself to others. Ha. That one never came to fruition. I’ve worked on prioritizing instead of making everything happen at once: is getting an A in economics this semester more important, or making fabulous and unforgettable memories with friends? (The memories obviously prevailed.) I’ve even made lists of what I thought would make me happy, crossing off my hopes and dreams as I accomplished them (I knew my OCD would come in handy at some point!). But still, I have never been able to fit everything on my plate, or to learn how to be satisfied with only filling it half up.

So, my question is, have you? If your answer is yes, please enlighten me on how you’ve accomplished this inconceivable feat. If no, thank god I’m not alone!

11 Comments on "Can We Really “Have It All”?"

  1. Justin says:
    Mon, 18th May 20091:33 pm 

    its difficult to have it all you only have so much time and energy. I tried balancing 2 and a half majors, research, fraternity, job, family and friends, it didn't work. i'm the type of person who wants to put everything in what i do and whenever I prioritize one activity, 2-3 of 6 usually falls out. My first and second year was all friends and fraternity but a low gpa. Now in my fourth year its all school, research and job 18/24 hours of the day, only seeing my friends once or twice a month and dating well, I think I'm goin to save that for after college.

    whoever can do it all, i want to know how you do it to :[

  2. Nokomis says:
    Tue, 19th May 200912:22 am 

    I admit, having it all is a high standard to life up to, and these days not only do we get told we can, there is almost a pressure to do it all. I know for myself, I am absolutely exhausted. I work 3-4 12hr night shifts a week as an RN on a critical care unit, working on a masters degree, teach horseback riding as well as try to ride and train my own two horses, volunteer for a few organizations. I have a guy that I only see once a week for an all nigher, and friends I barely have time to talk to.

    Do I see myself slowing down…No. Do I see myself giving up even more of the sleep I already don't get to try and regain a life with friends and my man….yes.

    24hrs a day is simply not enough anymore.

  3. Positively Present says:
    Tue, 19th May 200910:14 am 

    It’s really hard to “have it all.” Whatever you incorporate into your life, you will always feel as if something is missing if you aren’t truly happy with yourself. Happiness, contentment and “having it all” really does come from within. Outside people/things/tasks/places aren’t going to do it for you. You have to be content with yourself and then you will be able to focus on the few very important things that matter to you (which are different for everyone).

    http://www.positivelypresent.com

  4. Casey says:
    Tue, 19th May 20096:13 pm 

    I guess it just depends on the person. I just graduated with honors and a 3.85 GPA, I have a long term boyfriend who I just signed a lease with, I have a full time job which I excel at(before which I had 2 part time jobs that equaled a little more than full time hours) I have great friends who I go out with weekly, and I still manage to find plenty of free time (which I am about to fill up with a second, part time, job so I can have some spending money when I move into my apartment next month!). I think it just depends on the type of person you are. Some people love living a busy life and always being on the go or having literally every second of their day filled. Others need some down time.

    I think it is possible for SOME people to have it all, but only those types of people who were made for that life style. You just have to find the right combination of stuff that works for you.

  5. Allie Terag says:
    Wed, 20th May 200910:16 pm 

    Okay, first off, I think that Casey is misinterpreting the question (Or is possibly just wrong…). There is a difference between being busy and being overwhelmed. I know people who happily do multiple things at the same time, but they always ALWAYS hit a point where they just can’t keep saying yes to things. Casey, I’m glad you have found a comfortable limit!

    …and yes, I used to be the type to juggle everything all at the same time. It didn’t turn out too well. I, too, have given up and am MUCH happier now.

  6. Katie says:
    Tue, 26th May 20091:40 pm 

    Definitely NOT! I remember back to Freshman year of High School, I actually had a breakdown after scoring my first goal in varsity girls soccer because I had been able to go to the game after bombing a science test, lowering my grade by 5%. Needless to say, I gave up my near-perfect GPA for a social life, and I think it was one of the BEST decisions of my life.

  7. Gabby says:
    Wed, 27th May 20092:25 pm 

    It is definitely possible to have it all. You just have to do three things very well.

    A) Be Productive and manage your time well.

    B) Think Ahead. Get things done as soon as possible.

    C) Prioritize in the moment. Give up that one party to study for a test.

    Of course, there will always be moments when you have to make a hard choice. In those cases, I pick the one that will have a more long term effect (like studying for a test which will aid your grade and then GPA vs partying this week when you can party next week). Still, you will get stressed out some times, and at those times, sometimes the priority just has to be sitting out for a few hours (or days if you can) and breathing.

    Despite all this, it is possible. Don't Give Up!

  8. Talia. says:
    Wed, 27th May 20093:57 pm 

    i secondd this!

    im 15,

    and whenever things are going particularly well with friends/boyfriend, i start arguing with my mom more. when things are really good at school, uhh.. okay things are never really that good at school :)

    but, yeah, it's weird.

    i guess it takes people a while to find the "perfect" balance.

    most people who apparently "have it all" – actually are very unhappy with some aspects of their life.

    somehow, i'll find the perfect balance!

    very far away atm :L

  9. Julie says:
    Tue, 18th Aug 200911:39 am 

    I think you have your head in the right place. While I was doing my undergrad and Grad degrees… I traveled a lot during the summers, had great friends, focused on grades, and the business frat I was in but never really had a boyfriend (if I did they complained there wasn't time for them) Now that I am out in the world- I have a loving boyfriend (who came at a point in my life where there was time to focus on a relationship), work for a fortune 100 doing finance, and am trying to find a hobby (possible photography) but now travel is on the back burner bc I must work. In the next 5 years we will make the decision if we will have kids- then there will be a shift so that that can be a focus…probably instead of my career. Don't think you can't have it all…you can- just Not at the same time! Focus on your school and making those memories bc then you can look back on your youth and say damn…what a ride!!! After graduation- your focus will shift and work will take most of your time followed by marriage and kids….. keep making your lists this will help you focus. As for boys…. most the time they aren't that great til they have some life experience…so yeah its fun to date…but don't let that be a priority until a bit later in your 20s.

  10. delores m says:
    Mon, 29th Mar 20105:14 pm 

    I am writing an essay on how to have it all. When I say have it all I mean, being able to find time for all the things in life that are important to you. I am referring to spending time with family whie fulfilling your dreams. All this depends on what is the most importance to you. Everybody have different ideas. We will have to balance our life. Life is too short to go through it without accompolishing something that is important to us. We can not go back and fix things.

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