Roller Coaster of Love. Literally.

By Katie

Americans are well known for their affection for, and addiction to, theme parks.  We have Disney Land, Disney World, Lego Land, Sea World, and a plethora of other immensely entertaining places.  What we don’t have is a theme park about sex.  Guess who else doesn’t have one?  China.

While that may sound like a no-brainer, China was recently set to open a theme park called Love Land.  It was meant to promote open sexual discussion in a society where tradition and conservatism still reign with an iron fist.  The park was to feature huge reproductions of male and female genitalia, how-to workshops and other fun activities and displays.  However, all of that was razed today after a weekend inspection by government officials deemed the park vulgar and sensational.  Well, duh, but how awesome is that?

The question is: where’s ours?  Don’t we as Americans, especially young and virile Americans, deserve a theme park dedicated to our favorite pastime?  Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Mickey Mouse and friends, but I would much rather spend a hot summer day sweating it up on sex toys and whatnot than random cartoon characters (because that’s just creepy).

Just think of all the possibilities: roller coasters based on the Kama Sutra (“It’s a wild ride!”), water slides that really get you wet (tee hee), and a nightly fireworks display that heats things up.

Now that China has put its foot down and stomped out the sexy times, is an erotic theme park fated to be only a delicious pipe dream for those long summer days?  For those lucky enough to be in the general area of South Korea, the answer is no!  Love Land actually exists on Jeju Island and visitors can experience many of the same exhibitions and activities that were set to open in China: giant statues of genitalia, how-to masturbation and sex position exhibits, and lots of yummy works of erotic art.

Masturbation? Art? Penis? Sex? Hot Asian men? How much is a plane ticket to South Korea again? Oh yeah….  Well, until the day comes where I can get a flight to South Korea for less than the price of an entire semester, I’ll have to settle for the American Love Land.

As in, the Love Land that exists in all of our bedrooms and can’t be torn down. Take that, China!