He Said/She Said: Swiping Your V-Card
I waited a long time to swipe my coveted V-card. It wasn’t like I was waiting for my Prince Charming – more like I was waiting for the right opportunity. The right guy. The right comfort level. I wanted it to be something I could look back on down the road without regrets.
And I don’t have any, but it definitely wasn’t what I expected. I thought it would be some really intense situation where I’d feel completely different after the entire thing was over. And maybe it would have been had it lasted longer than 4 minutes. Instead, the entire sitch was just….weird. And when it was done? I didn’t feel more connected to my partner – I just felt sore downtown and a little bit sweaty.
Everyone’s first time is different, but do we all feel the same way going into it? What do guys think of losing their virginity, and what do they think about taking it from someone else? Let’s find out…
Got something you’d like to see us talk about? Leave it in the comments and we’ll have our dudes weigh in!
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Star says:
Wed, 20th May 20095:27 pm
Wow that’s interesting. I always assumed guys preferred girls who were virgins. Something about them seeming “pure and innocent”. I think I was wrong about that :p
Jack says:
Wed, 20th May 20096:04 pm
Virgins are definitely not a number one choice for most guys
Lady says:
Wed, 20th May 20098:58 pm
I think that losing your virginity can be special in a different kind of way. I don’t remember the details of what happened specifically AT ALL, but I remember the person, and I probably wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Second of all, I think the no virgin policy varies from guy to guy, I know a lot of guys who aren’t fans, but I know some who are, but maybe cause its more about being more knowledgeable in other areas, and wanting to be the smart, cool guy who knows all kind of stuff about everything. Maybe I am just bitter, I hate it when my guy friends date younger girls who aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer, its lame.
Cate says:
Wed, 20th May 200911:25 pm
Well when i told my now ex-bf that I was a virgin he just said “oh” and then continued on with what he was doing, completely un-phased. And I waited a while too.
But I do believe that girls get emotionally attached when they swipe the card, not to say we go crazy though! But it turned someone that I really didn’t even like that much into a serious bf that I was willing to put up with way too much from.
chelle says:
Thu, 21st May 20091:57 am
well i waited awhile too. not for a special person, but a decent guy. mostly i just waited until I was ready. the guy wasn’t my boyfriend, just someone i’d been dating for a few weeks, but it went really well. i remember thinking “thats it?” though too, not because it was quick(it took about 3 hours to lose ito.0 ) but because i expected to feel like a different person, to feel enlightened or something lol. i just felt sore and tired. although i did end up in a relationship with the guy, it wasn’t my goal, i didn’t feel automatically super attached to him after the sex, i felt attached to him after a few months of a lot of time together, and well yeah MORE sex. so yeah not all girls freak out about swiping the v-card. but then again maybe it was because i was 19? hmm
Kat says:
Sun, 24th May 20096:01 am
Well, I think guys like virgins since they can't go wrong. The girl has no great sex to relate to in their past! So, win win.
Rozy says:
Mon, 25th May 20097:50 pm
I feel fortunate to have had a wonderful time losing my v-card–even if the first 10 minutes was awkward as hell after we realized he wasn't even in…but it does make us chuckle.
lily says:
Tue, 26th May 20094:05 pm
I LOVE He said/she said, it's easily the best of the best on this site. I think this is such a great one because I couldn't agree more. Question, how do you copy and paste the entire iChat questions like that? I'm a writer too and I get a lot of ideas and advice, but no I'm not copying your idea, I promise!
Thanks and keep it up
Chirstina says:
Fri, 29th May 200911:04 am
Lily: just screen capture the convo by pressing “prt sc” on your keyboard. It’s usually up in the top right section. Then paste it into Paint or something.
cait says:
Fri, 29th May 200912:29 pm
This makes me scared to lose mine. I feel like I waited too long and now NO GUY will want me. It's not my fault though, no one was ever attracted to me till senior year of high school and because of that I'm really awkward with the opposite sex, now I'm a college junior! OH NO! (trust me, I'm ready)
Meg says:
Sat, 30th May 20094:12 pm
I'm 20 and a virgin. Originally my intention was to wait til marriage, but there have been times were I just want to swipe it and be done. Unfortunately my bf doesn't "do virgins." So unless he ends up being the one and marries me or something I'll be a virgin for awhile.
Apparently he's only swiped one vcard, and it was while he was swiping his own. The emotional bull crap was apparently a lot, and after the bitch broke his heart he decided he didn't want to put anyone in that same position. Thus no devirginizing unless there's marriage involved.
*sigh*
Stephanie says:
Sat, 13th Jun 20091:05 pm
I'm glad I'm not the only one who went through the 'sore, sweaty, and thinking wtf just happened' aftermath. I lost my virginity when I was 14 to a guy who had me convinced that he was dying and previously mentioned that he didn't want to die a virgin. (Now he's alive and healthy, just as he was two years ago.) So I don't exactly have the best memory of swiping my v-card: a guy I didn't love and an out-of-control lie. At the time, I thought losing it that way would make me feel almost noble in a way- sacrificing part of myself for someone who apparently deserved it. But honestly? It was incredibly awkward both during and after, and all I wanted to do by the time I got home was take a shower and forget it had happened. The experience has made me a bit more than uncomfortable when I think about being active with my current boyfriend- despite what people tell me, I just don't want to go through that weirdness again. Any ideas on how to get rid of the lingering letdown?
loreal says:
Wed, 24th Jun 20092:07 am
it happend wen ws 20 yrs..old..i did it wid my bf..we were in relationship since an year..we often thot abt doin it before but somethin in me stopped me from doin it. but on the first anniversary of our relationship …we were alone at his place and some where at the back o my mind was ready for it…and he made da first move …n it happend .n it ws best sex i ever had..bcoz we were so much in love…lots of love and feelings were involved..n i was happy that i finally did it with the one i love..n he is still my bf…but we share the same love and intimacy..even after 3 yrs.!i think one shd do it sm1 u really love.!