Perez Hilton: Real Life’s Gossip Girl
Monday night’s Gossip Girl season finale got me thinking. First, I started thinking about how depressing my Monday nights would be without my favorite show. Then I started thinking about what I would do with that 60 minutes of emptiness… and decided that I’d probably just eat to fill the void.
And then I started thinking about the quest to out Gossip Girl (from the most anti-climatic ending EVER) and I had a teen-drama epiphany:
Perez Hilton is the real world Gossip Girl.
OK, so maybe it wasn’t some crazy life-altering “aha moment,” but I was tired and it seemed pretty groundbreaking to me.
Just think about it:
Just like Gossip Girl requires tips from eyewitnesses, Perez depends on photos and stories from first-hand sources.
And just like Gossip Girl ruins people’s lives and reputations with the stuff she texts, Perez insults, slanders and embarrasses everyone who has the misfortune of making it to his site.
Of course, there are some key differences. For one, GG is extremely witty and talented, and Perez is, well, not. Unless you consider drawn-on cocaine to be talent, in which case he’s the Van Gogh of our generation. And Gossip Girl stays out of the limelight, preferring to do her work behind the scenes. A preference we only wish, pray and beg Perez would have.
But in the end, they are both the same: attention seeking people who are unhappy in their lives so they do their best to bring down those around them. And as much as we all hate it, we are all complicit in their actions. We send the tips, we read the gossip, and we’re OK with it all because it’s not about us.
We aren’t going to stop the Gossip Girls of the world any time soon (much like our BFF Serena was powerless) , but we can only hope that someone can give them a dose of their very own medicine. Or, at the very least, that our real world Gossip Girl, Perez, will take a cue from GG and stay. out. of the limelight.