V.W.W.E.: Top Ten Virile Vets

May 22, 2009     Posted in Entertainment

jarhead02

We’re back with another edition of G.W.W.E. (Guys We Wanna Eff), and no, that’s not a typo! This week, we have a very special treat in store–instead of featuring one luscious lad, we have decided to salute ten of Hollywood’s hottest vets in honor of Memorial Day. Some battled enemies on the war front, others on screen, but all of these studs are on our short list for a pleasure-filled patriotic eff. After all, what’s hotter than a man in uniform?

Colonel James M. "Jimmy" Stewart


1. Jimmy Stewart (US Air Force)
The star of my all-time favorite movie, It’s a Wonderful Life, served part of his wonderful life in the US Air Force.  Looks like Clarence the angel wasn’t the only one who got his wings!

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elvisarmy
2. Elvis Presley (US Army)
The King was a member of the Army before he was a member of the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame.  For his service and those sick swingin’ hips, I’ve got just one thing to say: thankyuhverymuuhch!

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3.  Jake Gyllenhaal (Screen Vet)
The ferocious indie-hunk immortalized the first Gulf War in 2005′s Jarhead. Tell me, Jake, have those guns in that photo been authorized by the Marines?

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4.  Josh Hartnett (Screen Vet)
Josh has pulled two, erm, tours of duty–one in the WWII film Pearl Harbor, and another in Black Hawk Down, the film portraying American involvement in the Somalian civil war.

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martinsheen
5. Martin Sheen (Screen Vet)
Another two-time screen vet, the West Wing President was first a US Army captain in Francis Ford Coppola’s Vietnam War epic, Apocalypse Now and as Civil War General Robert E. Lee in Gettysburg.

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alanalda
6. Alan Alda (Screen Vet)
The recent 30 Rock guest star first shot to stardom on one of television’s most popular shows, the Korean War comedy M*A*S*H.  Anyone who can make wartime funny is worth an eff in my book.

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7. Humphrey Bogart (US Navy)
One of the true classic film stars, Casablanca cassanova Bogart served in the US Navy (and enjoyed all the girls he met at sea!).

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matthewbroderick
8. Matthew Broderick (Screen Vet)
SJP’s hubby made unfettered determinism (and facial hair) sexy in the timeless Civil War film, Glory. No trace of Ferris Bueller-esque slackerism here.

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joedimaggio
9. Joe DiMaggio (Army)
He thanked the good Lord for making him a Yankee, but we thank the pinstriped papa for his service to his country. Joltin’ Joe took a hiatus from the House that Ruth Built and joined the Army during WWII.

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10. Ben Affleck (Screen Vet)
Oscar-winning celeb and Jennifer Garner’s baby daddy had all of our hearts a-thumpin’ in Pearl Harbor, alongside fellow hottie Josh Hartnett (see above).

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Ladies, who else do you think deserves a spot on our list of V.W.W.E. (Vets We Wanna Eff)?

8 Comments on "V.W.W.E.: Top Ten Virile Vets"
  1. Mazuba says:
    Fri, 22nd May 200911:14 am 

    How about Channing Tatum and Ryan Phillipe in Stop Loss?loved them in that movie!

  2. Morgan says:
    Fri, 22nd May 200912:22 pm 

    Screen Vets? Isn't that "cheating" the idea?

  3. Ana says:
    Fri, 22nd May 20093:09 pm 

    Yeeeeeeeees Mazuba…Those two were HOT

  4. has says:
    Fri, 22nd May 20096:03 pm 

    M*A*S*H was about the Korean War, not Vietnam.

  5. BigBubba says:
    Fri, 22nd May 200911:24 pm 

    I fucking shooting and killing the little fucks in 'Nam when you were just a load of cum in some guys balls. after 'Nam I was in Beirut, Grenada, Panama, Desert Storm, Afgan, and I just returned from 3 tours in Iraq. i'm on a mental leave now. Tv war heros are complete bullshit. I fought in 8 wars and I ain't ever seen any mother fuckers like you saying. I'm a hardcore Green beret ranger airbourne and I'll rip off your head and skull fuck you like I did with them viet cong girls in the villages..

  6. Engineer says:
    Fri, 22nd May 200911:55 pm 

    Soldier worship…

  7. Leroy says:
    Sat, 23rd May 20097:59 am 

    Fucking Marine right here. Honor me by sucking my balls and cock while you shove a dildo in yo ur ass and pussy.? Ride it like u love it u little skanky slut

  8. criolle johnny says:
    Mon, 1st Jun 20091:34 pm 

    Three out of ten did any real service. The rest of the ten are make-believe service members, including Elvis who never did any real "service".

    Visit a VA hospital and see some real vets. See the real world. It might prepare you for an actual job.

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