Comments on: Emotional Baggage: How to Handle Your Lover’s Past

By: Mary

Mary — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 14:25:14 +0000

My boyfriend gives me no attention. I had nothing from him this christmas and the only excuse he gave was that the best thing I could have for christmas is love. He hasn’t called me for 4 days, even in this festive season, any time I say I love you he says he loves me too but he doesn’t act like it. He even blocked me on facebook because I keep complaining about funny comments and stuffs that goes on there. My ex broke up with me this May and it scares me when I think he might do same too. I tired and fed up of hurting and worrying.:-(

By: Katharine

Katharine — Tue, 25 May 2010 22:42:51 +0000

thank you so much for this, not only the article but everyone who commented as well. recently i've found myself in a relationship where my significant other has had plenty of hookups and one night stands – things that i can't wrap my mind around. reading this really helped me remember that it doesn't really matter in the end.

By: Sam

Sam — Tue, 18 May 2010 01:38:20 +0000

Thank you a lot for this information. I know I'm not the only girl that feels this way out in this world. I feel bad for searching for her on facebook and reading what she's up to. I'm trying to let all his past go but everyday I just sit and think about it and its driving me insane. Not like jealous, more like mad at them both and afraid to bump into her -_-

By: my2cents

my2cents — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 23:33:14 +0000

I agree! Ex-hookups that meander “innocently” back into a man’s life when he is taken – now THAT is a hard one! For some reason, it almost bothers me more than an ex. Exes are with someone long enough that the person LEARNS reasons for not being with them. Whereas to me, hookups don’t seem to run their course which is a more scary idea.

By: Jes

Jes — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 09:40:39 +0000

Now we need an article about how to deal when ex hook-ups, etc. come back into the picture, i.e. his best friend starts bringing them back around!! Grr…. LOL

By: Meg

Meg — Sat, 30 May 2009 21:01:37 +0000

I loved this article. I've been having a hard time with this with my boyfriend. He's my first real relationship, so I'm pretty much baggageless and he knows it. But he, being six years older and an ex manwhore has a lot of baggage. Talking fondly about the ex love of his life or about some of the girls he's fucked really upsets me, but remembering that he's with me, not any of them usually keeps me from getting too worked up over it. Plus I did break #2 and found out I'm waaaaay hotter than his last ex.

Regardless, real relationships are hard. There's no point in making them even more difficult by chasing ghosts.

Thanks for the wonderful article

By: Jon Ray

Jon Ray — Wed, 27 May 2009 22:20:44 +0000

I've had ex-girlfriends that took the new social media fad to the max, adding my new girlfriends as friends and then flooding their news feed with status messages to inadvertently drive them crazy. It's amazing how when someone breaks up with someone, it seems their status message usage goes from once a week to 10 times a day. I guess, this is the new media world's way of saying, "We might be broken up, but I'm still here!" It gets annoying. Another great post! -jonray http://makemoneyincollegeblog.com

By: Positively Present

Positively Present — Wed, 27 May 2009 13:33:51 +0000

oh man oh man… heavy subject… but a GREAT post on the topic. dealing with a lover's past isn't easy (and, as you get older, it only gets worse because there's more of a past) but if readers follow this advice they will have a much easier time of dealing with it. i especially like #3 — don't compare. it's SO important not to do this. remember: you are you. you are never going to be the ex. you are awesome. the person is with YOU right now. be confident in yourself and avoid jealousy (it's NEVER productive, especially when it involves someone from the past). try your best to focus on the present moment because, really, that's all you and your lover have. thanks for this great advice.

http://www.positivelypresent.com

By: Keightee

Keightee — Wed, 27 May 2009 13:33:49 +0000

Gemma, I really enjoyed this article. When I was dating in college, I would sometimes ask my then boyfriend about his ex-gfs – especially comparisons (who doesn't like their ego stroked once-in-awhile?!). But, now that I am in an "adult" relationship, I've found that those details really are unimportant. You can ask about past relationships, but I think your example said it best – "but, why?"

I know that for me personally, I sometimes let minor information fester in my mind until it eventually causes problems that wouldn't have existed if I didn't bring it up in the first place. So now, as an 'adult', I can see that knowing that facts and nothing more really is the best bet. Nice job.