Miss Manners: How to Leave the Salon Unscratched
May 27, 2009 5:00 pm Posted in Reality Vivian - Rutgers University g+ page
[I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the epitome of prim and proper- heck, who really is nowadays? But looking around at the misguided youths of today *ahem drinking buddies*, I’m starting to think that Miss Manners might have been onto something. While you may never need to know how to greet a duke or how to tell which fork is REALLY the oyster fork, knowing how to deal with people whom owe you money, how much to tip, and how to address the ever annoying licorice-in-teeth conundrum without being rude might actually come in handy in the real world.
I'm not trying to be your mother - oh goodness, no - I'm just here to help you out of those little etiquette dilemmas. So here goes: a quick lesson in etiquette. The sh*t you might actually need to know.]
I always leave salons with bad hair cuts. (Although I must admit the last one was my fault- it should have tipped me off right away when I realized the hair stylist did not speak a word of English.) Anyway, last week reader Josie asked us to feature an article on hair-salon etiquette: “manners pertaining communication with your hair dresser from conversation to tips, how to react if you don’t get the expected results, etc.” So here’s to you Josie..
Small talk. For most women (and some men), their hairstylist is their therapist, best friend, psychic, and lover (you know, hypothetically speaking) all rolled into one. What you tell them is completely up to you, but remember that while there is practically an unwritten rule about the stylist-stylee confidentiality, your stylist isn’t legally obligated to keep quiet. Just because you trust her to give you a killer hair-do, doesn’t mean you can trust her to not tell everyone about your cheating on your taxes, boyfriend, calculus exam, whatever. In fact, salons are havens for gossip, so just be careful.
On another note, if you don’t want to talk to the person cutting your hair, you really don’t have to. I’ve been there; once you run out of small talk (“Yes, it is hot outside, isn’t it?”) and have nothing more to add to the conversation, the silence gets pretty awkward. If you ever find yourself in this predicament, politely escape via magazine. Relax. It’s okay; just make sure to glance up now and then to make sure your hair is coming along the way you’d like.
Bad haircuts. What should you do if you end up with a bad cut? Ask them to fix it. And by “ask” I mean “tell.” Yes, it might be a pain in the butt for them to redo your hair, but remember that you’re paying them for the service. If your hair doesn’t come out exactly the way you want it to, it’s not rude to expect someone at the salon to fix it. It’s better for them if you speak up and get a haircut you love than to walk out unhappy and tell everyone where that mullet came from.
Note: This isn’t a free pass to be bitchy or to start crying and threaten her with the scissors. If you’re unhappy with the results, calmly explain to the stylist what’s wrong with the look, why it isn’t what you asked for, and offer up a suggestion on how to fix it. This can usually be avoided by bringing a photograph/sketch of the exact style you want from different angles or explaining beforehand your definition of “just two inches.”
I hope that helped clarify some things. I’ve had my fair share of salon disasters (going in for red hair…coming out with purple?), so I’m pretty confident in these tips.
And once again, if you’ve got any etiquette conundrums, questions or gray areas you need help sorting out, let me know in the comments. I’ll be sure to help you out in next week’s column!
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Jon Ray says:
Wed, 27th May 20094:49 pm
Yes! You definitely want to take precaution when spilling your inner-most thoughts with your hair-dresser. I thought I had nothing to worry about and used to tell her everything. Then, I started dating one of her friends and all of a sudden, I realized that my hair dresser had been gabbing my intimate problems to the world! It could have been messier than it was, so beware of what you say! Great post!
-jonray
makemoneyincollegeblog.com
Michelle says:
Wed, 27th May 20097:38 pm
For being Miss Manners, I would think you wouldn't let such a derogatory comment like "I should have known I would be getting a bad haircut when I realized the hair stylist did not speak a word of English" let slip. Your comment suggests that those who can't speak English don't provide good service, which I hope isn't what you intended to say. Anyway, I understand you were just emphasizing the importance of communicating with one's hairstylist, I just would hope, especially in this electric political environment, that you would be a little more sensitive. Otherwise, cool article.
Vivian - Rutgers University says:
Thu, 28th May 20091:28 pm
Michelle- Wow, thank you for pointing that out. I guess I missed that while I was writing the article. I’m sorry if I offended you, but honestly the comment had nothing to do with racial prejudice or any other kind of discrimination (although I can see how it could have been misinterpreted.) Actually, I meant that the hairstylist and I spoke two entirely different languages and as a result, we were forced to communicate through a series of hand gestures. It was like a really (REALLY) bad game of charades- with no winner. Anyway, thanks again, Michelle! I’ll keep that in mind.
sara says:
Thu, 28th May 200912:30 pm
I went in for highlights the other day and was expecting WHAM! blonde. I had gotten them a year ago and had seen a huge difference in my hair color. So when she blow-dried my hair and I saw it lighter, I was happy and thanked her. But when I got home I realized I really just wasn't satisfied and really wanted it lighter. I had spent $50 on the highlights and was afraid to go back because 1) I was scared she'd re-charge me for more product and time and 2) I felt like I would be insulting HER highlighting abilities and 3) um hello, awkward? I don't want to sound like a stuck-up bitch who decided to waltz in the next day because she changed her mind. But I set up another appointment and when I went in I just was really open and tried to communicate as best I could that I was really expecting a lighter color. She was very understanding and even switched to bleach (I guess she used dye? Or not as strong of a bleach before) and anyways afterwards the color was much more what I had wanted. And you know what she didn't charge me! I still tipped though, since I HAD taken up her time again. My advice is if you don't like what you see, just communicate clearly and don't be afraid to ask the hairdresser to re-do something (just make sure you do this promptly, not like a week later)
Lara Adrien says:
Thu, 21st Mar 20132:42 am
Honestly, just be nice and courteous to your stylist. That's the easiest way to ensure that you won't leave the salon looking like a walking disaster.