Everybody’s doing it. There’s different types, names, and ways to do it. Two girls, one guy. One girl, one guy. Two guys. You name it, it happens. And according to New York City’s most trusted paper, this oh-so unusual and odd act causes “peer pressure,” and is leaving parents “baffled.” That’s right everybody, we’re talking about hugging.
I didn’t think The Times could get more desperate for a relevant “News” story after discussing the dangers of texting, but it looks like I was wrong. It seems that texting-thumb isn’t the biggest issue plaguing our generation right now. The real question? To hug or not to hug.
Underage drinking is dangerous. Drugs, sex, whatever. But hugs? I’m pretty sure those things are safe. They are not things to fear or be worried about, as the Times is portrating them; they’re hugs! They’re innocent yet meaningful exchanges among people, not some gateway drug that will eventually lead to middle school prostitution.
It’s funny, but also infuriating that the Times would make such a big deal about a simple hug. The way they’re talking, you’d think kids were giving blow jobs in the halls. And if that were the case, I’d understand. I mean, that changes the whole story…literally:
- “We’re not afraid, we just get in and [give blow jobs],” said Danny Schneider, a junior at the school, where hallway [blow jobs] began shortly after 7 a.m. on a recent morning as students arrived. “The guy friends, we don’t care. You just get right in there and jump in.”
- There are romantic [blow jobs] too, but that is not what these teenagers are talking about.
- “If somebody were to not [blow] someone, to never [blow] anybody, people might be just a little wary of them and think they are weird or peculiar,” said Gabrielle Brown, a freshman at Fiorello H. LaGuardia High School in Manhattan.
- But pro-[blow jobbing] students say it is not a romantic or sexual gesture, simply the “hello” of their generation. “We like to get cozy,” said Katie Dea, an eighth grader at Claire Lilienthal Alternative School in San Francisco. “The high-five is, like, boring.”
See? Now that’s wrong, but a hug? Come on, New York Times! I don’t know what kind of hugs you’ve been getting, but I’m pretty sure they’re harmless. Once again, there are bigger things to discuss like, I don’t know, education reform? Bullying?
I say, hug and be hugged! All the time! Whenever you want, wherever you want. But, just to be safe, make it quick; you don’t want to be late to class.