I, too, will probably be this drunk at commencement.

I’ve lost track of the days and I no longer can distinguish between night and day. We drink round the clock now anyways so there doesn’t seem to be a reason for me to try to figure any of this out. But there are still a few things that I must get done before doomsday (known to my parents as commencement ceremonies).

TRY ON MY CAP AND GOWN
I thought it would be hilarious and trendsetting if I got a 4’11 gown for my 5’7 self. There’s a strong chance I will regret that decision when I’m the only one crossing the stage with bare legs. There’s a stronger chance that my family will be embarrassed. And there’s the strongest chance that cutting the top in a v-neck (they’re very in right now) will look more Salvation Army than American Apparel.

THROW EVERYTHING OUT
I have problems throwing things out. Especially if I got it for free. Because of this issue of mine (un-webmd-able…I’ve looked) I have quite the collection of heinously ugly Syracuse water bottles, fairy wings, and soy sauce packets. I never even once dreamed of dressing up like a fairy, but because I found the wings laying on a street on a rainy Halloween circa 2007 I kept them. I don’t know what I planned to do with them over the past three years, but I kept telling myself you never know when you might need them. Turns out I never did.

Read More »

Got a question for the Tuffmeister? Email her at tuffyluv@collegecandy.com to be featured in her weekly column!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

So I’m dating this great guy but here’s the problem: I’m 21 and he’s 44. Which I’m fine with. But all my friends think it’s kind of skeezy. And I  haven’t told my parents yet because I’m worried they might freak out. But it’s a really good relationship. He’s really sweet and smart and he takes me out to places I could definitely not afford on my own. What do you think? Skeezy or just a really good relationship that happens to come with perks?

Likes Her Guy Read More »

Happy Cinco De Mayo, ladies! Hopefully you can take a break from your regular drinking studying to celebrate a big moment in the history of Mexico. And hopefully you’ll honor that country to our south the right way, instead of just grabbing a bag of Tostitos, a bottle of Corona, and a surgical mask.

After all, this isn’t just any Tuesday – it’s a holiday! You gotta make things special on a holiday. And the way to make this particular holiday special is by pulling out all the stops when it comes to your cocktails of choice. You could just grab some margartia mix and blend it up for you and the girls, or you could do something totally different and totally tasty that will knock everyone’s socks off. And probably pants.

We scoured the internet to find some pretty cheap and unique Cinco-De-Mayo-worthy margaritas. From chocolate to Jell-O shots, these are cocktails no one will forget. Even on a day devoted to forgetting everything. Click on the image to get the recipe, then do it up. (We highly recommend the Skinny Girl Margarita. It’s low cal and incredibly tasty. We already had one this morning. And, yes, it’s only 10 am.)

Enjoy! Read More »

Mmmm. Mysterious dark spots on the floor.

You wake up with one thing on your mind and one thing only: water. You want to drink it, you want to bathe in it, you want to take advantage of all of its healing powers. You stumble out of your room and head to the kitchen. When you take one step out the door, however, you realize this is a mission you cannot accomplish without shoes.

Thanks to last night’s party, your house is a disaster. There are empty beer cans everywhere, the floor is soaked with beer, and for some reason there is an empty jar of pizza sauce on the floor and marinara hand prints all over the kitchen walls. And [vomit] the smell. Gross.

You dig a pair of flip flops out from under a pile of dirty clothes and head to the oasis that is your Brita in the fridge. You tear the duct tape off of the cabinet (because obviously duct tape will prevent drunk people from rifling through your things) and grab a cup. As you chug your 3rd glass of that sweet nectar from the gods, your roommates, also wearing shoes, start trickling into the kitchen. Read More »

Miss California takes it off!

Hooking up is not so good for ya.

Ok, so Pink doesn’t like the ladies…

Behind the scenes with Dane Cook.

Cheap summer date ideas.

Ed Westwick looks hot (pun intended)

Ok, now correct me if I’m wrong, but Brody did come out of his hotel room in Hawaii and tell all the boys that he cheated on Jayde, right? (And what the hell kind of stripper name is Jayde, really?!) Does Brody consider sitting up all night talking about his GF with another girl cheating or was he just trying to impress his friends by telling them that he cheated?

Because this week we learn that he didn’t hook up with Audrina at all and they just slept – yes, slept – in the same bed. Being an adult woman, I do consider that inappropriate for someone in a relationship, but I wouldn’t call that cheating. And if it were my boyfriend, I wouldn’t get my trashy, Playmate entourage to stick their fake press-on nails in that poor girl’s face.

It’s not that big a deal. And my friends don’t wear fake nails. Read More »

Eminem’s got a drug problem. Duh.

Alexander Wang helps the Gap.

Let’s talk about binge drinking.

Why is Shia LeBeouf’s mom gettin’ naked?!

Jessica Alba even looks hot when she’s working out.

More fun ways to rock the leggings.

I remember my college graduation like it was yesterday. After a group of my friends threw an open bar graduation party for family and friends the night before, I woke up graduation morning hungover, naked and confused about  my whereabouts. I rolled over to find myself lying next to the first college friend I made at orientation.

“Fitting,” I thought to myself. Then I grabbed my clothes (all but one shoe…which I told myself I could live without) and ran out the door. If I didn’t get home soon, I would be late for graduation.

I hailed a cab on the corner of the street and hopped in. On the short ride back to my house, I passed families all dressed up for the great moment that was their son/daughter/grandchild/cousin/brother/sister’s graduation. I looked down at the clothes I wore the night before and the unidentified scars that can only come from a night of heavy drinking on someone else’s tab.

“Fitting,” I thought to myself again. Read More »

What would we do without the internet? Seriously, we use it to shop, to study, to communicate, to be entertained…and to get answers to the questions we just need answered, but aren’t quite sure how to ask. To someone’s face. Who can laugh at us. And then tell everyone about it.

Questions like this one…

I’m pretty sure the lack of poo poo is the real problem here, but she should just do what I do in this situation: opt for sweats. And lay off the late night cookie-dough-with-a-spoon routine.

Spring has sprung and bromance is in the air.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but is there anything hotter than two men who are such good friends they are often confused as lovers? I think not. Maybe it’s because they exhibit the exact characteristics I look for in my own relationships with men. Think about it, guys in bromances are sweet and understanding, they crave intimacy and inside jokes, they use nicknames and share common interests, and they aren’t afraid of affection (even with other men). It’s the perfect relationship – and no need to search for the
right diamond engagement rings or plan a wedding!

Of course I would never get in the way of a bromance. It’s just not my style. But I would have no problem, say, nestling into a bromance sandwich. Why break up the friendship when we can make it a threesome (or in some cases, a bromance orgy starring me)? Unfortunately it may be some time before I end up in the same room as the Apatow hotties, so for now I’ll just have to settle for the hottest bromance gallery of all time. Click on each image to get a full size shot and enjoy! Read More »