10 Things We Hate About Weddings

wedding1_smSummer is well on its way (it’s June already!), as we all know.  Along with the endless sunny days and exponential increase of guys without their shirts on,  we (unfortunately) also have to deal with the beast that is the summer wedding.

Some of you may protest, “but I like weddings!  They’re fun!”  Does sitting around for hours with pit stains in a dress you hate in the company of people you barely know with a severe case of sobriety sound fun to you?  There are obviously some exceptions (especially if you are the bride or you’re just the “+1” on an invitation), but here are the 10 things we hate about weddings:

1). Bridesmaid Dresses – This is probably the worst thing on our list and definitely the one with the worst reputation (see and the hundreds of other sites dedicated to the fashion offenses committed in the “bridesmaid dress” genre).  A summer wedding could only improve an ugly dress you didn’t want to wear – the pit stains will totally distract people from that pink poofy thing around your hips.

2). Weird Relatives – Seriously, where did those guys come from?  I’ll bet you never knew that your Uncle Jed (Uncle Who??) from Sweden was a professional turnip juggler.  He’s just dying to tell you all about his most  recent competition, too.

3). Inadequate Seating – Wooden chairs and pews are so not comfortable, especially when you’re forced to watch something akin to My Big Redneck Wedding play out in front of your eyes (or, even worse, Bridezillas).  Let’s get some couches up in here, or at least a cushion (at the very least, you could use the excessive amount of tulle in your ugly bridesmaid dress as a make-shift cushion).

4). The Lack of Alcohol – Unfortunately, not all weddings include the magical words “open bar.”  Some of them are even dry weddings (gasp!).  Seriously, if you’re gonna make us sit next to your creepy cousin at the singles table, then you better be handing out the bottles of wine like candy.

5). The Bride – We love her, we want to be her (maybe), but we also want to kill her.  For some reason, once a girl gets a ring on her finger, it’s like getting permission to regress to when you were a toddler and were spoiled by everyone.  Sorry, but if you’re not two years old, you just can’t rock a temper tantrum.

6). Ugly Groomsmen – Even the worst wedding can be saved by a couple pieces of eye candy in tuxes…but nothing ruins a summer wedding faster than an uggo in a sweat-stained tux.  Especially if you’re a bridesmaid.  Especially if you’re a single bridesmaid.

7). Children – Kind of like a spastic bride, if you put a kid in a pretty dress, it’s pretty much a free pass for any and all misbehavin’.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m kinda jealous that they get to take their shoes off and run around screaming in their dress clothes.  However, my jealousy is buried by my displeasure at being seated at the singles table with them (or at the end of the head table, stuck with the job of babysitting the flower girl).

8). The Chicken Dance – Just…no.  No one can look good doing this.  It’s not fun.  It’s not cute.  Stop the madness.

9). Bridesmaid Drama – If you’re lucky enough to be a part of the wedding party, then you get special privileges that other guests do not…such as bridesmaid drama.  Nothing kills an evening like trying to control a cat fight between the bride and her sister.  Trust me, you do not want to get caught up in that.

10). The Sheer Numbers – Once you get to a certain age, you start getting more and more of those little lacy  invitations in the mail (particularly in the summer).  As if one wasn’t enough!  You better invest in a flask and an amazing LBD right now.



  1. Casey says:

    I just went to my boyfriends cousins bridal shower Saturday. The couple has been together for 4 years. Yesterday, after his controlling rich mother "had a talk with him", he called off the wedding. As our whole family was sitting around crying because my boyfriends moms house burned down and our beloved dog and cat died in the fire. What an ass! Seriously who does that!

    I don't like weddings because you may think you know someone, but they could turn out to be entirely NOT who you thought they were.

  2. Engineer says:

    You have to smuggle in your own vodka

  3. Erin says:

    I hate overly religous people getting married. I can't stand Catholics and I can't stand their long ass weddings and the all the bull shit the priest says. At least it was open bar so it was easier to deal.

    1. some1Ushouldlisten2 says:

      I hate when atheists and anti'religious people get married. The only thing they are there for is to play house, then get divorced a few short years later because they have no idea what commitment is. If people actually did what the priest said, they wouldn't have that problem.

  4. pairdiem says:

    all valid points…especially being seated at the 'kids' table and being in charge of them. ugg.

    Erin, if you dislike Catholics and their weddings so much, just don't attend and go to the reception.

  5. Japhy Rochester says:

    I LOVE IT!

    I love weddings but there is always some sort of drama.

    I did find this though: Survive Wedding Season ( a site that is all about helping wedding guests SURVIVE other people's weddings.

    So far, it hasn't steered me wrong…and they have a whole section on Bridesmaid Dresses.


  6. Bridelines says:

    At bridelines, we hate bridezillas! Great list above. check out bridelines blog for other things that make people annoyed about weddings.

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  8. R says:

    I LOVE weddings! I went to my cousin's last friday and it was everything this list is not.

    1. The bridesmaids got to pick their dresses from any J.Crew style (they just all had to be the same color which was very pretty)

    2. All of my relatives in attendance are awesome and I love seeing them as much as possible, and the groom's relatives were so funny and just as great.

    3. There was tons of seating and it was comfortable.

    4. OPEN BAR!!! (Top shelf might I add — I actually accidentally missed the "cousins" picture because I was getting another drink with the bride's brother… oops!)

    5. All I can say is I hope I am that relaxed and composed on my wedding day – she didn't act like a princess at all (even though she looked like one!)

    6. Groomsmen = HOT

    7. The only child there was the flower girl who was the niece of the groom and I can honestly say I have never seen a cuter and more well behaved child in my life. My sister, who claims she'll never have children, said she is now rethinking the subject.

    8. No chicken dance, just an awesome band.

    9. The was no visible bridesmaid drama and I really don't think there was any. They all looked genuinely happy the entire time.

    10. It was my first of the season so I'm not sick of 'em yet!

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  10. D says:

    Best place to pick up women. They're super depressed that they're not the ones getting married.

  11. celebrationsgirl says:

    Some of my pet peeves about some weddings include:

    1. Sitting in the pews/chairs and staring at the couple as they stare at each other after they light the unity candle. Seriously, light the candle and sit down. Or don't do it at all. 2. Even worse than the first is sitting through moments in a service where we just have a solo for no reason. Come on people, we don't need to just sit and listen to someone sing while you sit and listen to someone sing. We've got the whole time before the service to do that.

    3. Finally, waiting for the couple to get to the reception can be a drag. Mostly because you are starving by then and are casting delusional stares at the ice sculpture wondering if it is edible.

  12. Anna Allen says:

    my sister always like to attend bridal showers and she enjoys it a lot':*

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