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What We Think of Men Who Think We Can’t Be Good Leaders
June 2, 2009 Posted in Buzz
No one can deny that the male ego is truly an amazing (and monstrous) thing after reading the article, “Why Women Can’t Be Bosses” posted on AskMen.com. In a breakdown of the reasons why women apparently suck at being in charge, the article really makes some rather interesting points (interesting = far fetched, misogynistic and disgusting), some of which include how women don’t know how to control their emotions, how they hold grudges, and apparently all – yes I repeat, all - have queen bee syndrome.
This has to be a joke, right? I mean, no guy really feels this way about women, right?
Take this line, for example: “In order for women to compete with any level of competence, they have to adopt masculine qualities.” Seriously? Wow. I wonder to which male qualities the writer is referring. Is it the ignorance, the insolence, or just the immaturity to write such absurd blogs like this one?
Or how about the claim made that women act the same way in a business setting as they do in relationships? Because apparently we don’t know how to separate the two or act in a professional manner. I’m not saying women don’t sometimes have emotional outbursts, hormonal rages, whatever, in a relationship, but how does that automatically translate to their professional lives?
And, what, men can’t be crazy? I’ve seen men throw punches outside a bar over a sporting event, but I don’t automatically assume they are going to start punching people at work. Maybe the real issue is that women are understanding creatures, whereas men are just quick to judge. I can’t imagine that’s a great quality in a boss.
The article concludes with this final thought: in being a boss, “there are goals to attain, hills to take” and “battles to win — all of which require decisive leadership and the respect of those serving underneath.” While that was intended to be yet another dig at the female leader, it seems to me like men are automatically disqualified from any sort of leadership role. I sure don’t see any “respect” for women coming from this article. Women who, since they can’t be leaders themselves, would 100% be serving underneath them.
It’s 2009 and, sadly, stereotypes still exist, and always will. They will never ever go away. In fact, as this article proves, they will only get worse and worse. But who cares? We can break these stereotypes and prove men wrong. That’s what they’re afraid of anyway, isn’t it? It’s that fear of being beaten out for jobs that leads men to make such ridiculous assumptions.
A leader or boss is someone who is decisive, strong, dedicated, and assertive. If that doesn’t describe a woman of the new milennium, I’m not sure what does.
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Kay says:
Tue, 2nd Jun 200910:42 am
Wow… I just left 3 messages at the bottom of that post. I don't know what makes me angrier… the fact that that was actually WRITTEN and POSTED, or that some of the men commenting on it agreed with it. Ridiculous.
Kendall says:
Tue, 2nd Jun 200912:38 pm
Men are SO afraid and threatened by women. askmen is dedicated to women, if you've noticed that all the banner links are about women.
Blaire says:
Tue, 2nd Jun 20091:35 pm
I read the article. And the comments. Kay, thank you so much! Everything you said is so true. One thing I noticed was that there was a comment talking about "all of the stupid minorities", degrading Jewish people, and asking for some good black jokes. It seems to me like that is the type of person this author is. The article would be fine if it were talking about "What makes a bad boss" or something completely unrelated to gender, but nope, it was linked to women. It seems as though the author had one bad female boss and decided to whine to the internet about her, saying that all women were like that. Well, WAKE UP! There are horrible male bosses as well. In fact, if the statistics are correct and 40% of people in the workplace are female, then it would make sense that 60% of bad bosses are male.
The author of that article was a male chauvinistic pig.
Positively Present says:
Tue, 2nd Jun 20092:36 pm
Melissa, thanks for bringing this to our attention. This. Is. Absurd. I cannot even believe that was posted on a website! Seriously!? I am in shock. Way to go, Kay, putting comments on it.
http://www.positivelypresent.com
Kendall says:
Tue, 2nd Jun 20097:40 pm
People like casey are the kind that keep us from getting out of this stereotype rut. Maybe she is like this, but I know that I am not, and the women I surround myself with are not as well.
Casey says:
Tue, 2nd Jun 20098:33 pm
yeah Kendall, I was not talking about myself in my comment. But the women I get stuck working with who almost all can't seem to handle their crap while every male I worked for could. I am sure that my case is not just a single solitary incident. And it's doubtful that on this site I would get any backing on that, but just trying to give some people a wake up call and let you know how the rest of the world see's it.
Casey says:
Tue, 2nd Jun 200911:18 pm
I didn’t read the article yet, but I do agree with some of the things you pointed out. I’m not saying that ALL women can’t lead or be bosses, but from my experience (and I have LOTS of experience with female bosses) most women just can’t handle it. (and yes, I am a female).
This line “women are understanding creatures, whereas men are just quick to judge” Are you serious? What women are you talking about? Women are the LEAST understanding creatures on earth! And MEN are quick to judge?! How often do YOU talk shit about girls with your friends? how often do YOU see a hot girl walking down the street and immediately get defensive and start bashing her to your friends? This is how girls work. ALMOST every girl I have ever known is like this. Girls ARE bitches to one another, girls ARE emotional, and hormonal.
“women act the same way in a business setting as they do in relationships” I have seen this so often! (I have had 14 bosses 8 have been women) The women I have worked under have all treated the business setting as they would in a relationship. My current boss had a breakdown the other day because her boss wanted to bring her ex boyfriend (who works at another one of our stores) to cover her shift on her day off since we are lacking in managers right now. My boss yelled and cried and threatened to quit if her ex was ever brought into her store to cover a shift. I have experienced many other occasions like these.
“women don’t know how to control their emotions, how they hold grudges, and apparently all – yes I repeat, all – have queen bee syndrome.”
I definitely agree with this one (minus the queen bee thing) I had a female manager who didn’t like me because I had been with the company longer than her and one of the other managers told her to ask me how to do something. When she was training her replacement A YEAR LATER she completely trashed me to the new manager and so she had it in for me from day 1 because she was best friends with the girl. I eventually had to leave that store because it got so bad. Girls DEFINITELY hold grudges. And can’t hold their emotions? I experience this every day. My female managers go off on EVERYONE their bosses, their bosses bosses, their subordinates, EVERYONE.
I am simply speaking from my experience, I do believe some women can lead, but from my experience in the work force over the past 6 years, and with 8 female managers, most women just can’t handle the pressure that comes from being in charge.(my current boss is rapidly loosing weight, she’s 5’5 and weighs 97 pounds, 3 months ago she weighed 130 pounds. All because of the stress from her job, which isn’t even that stressful!) I did have 1 female manager that was simply awesome! She had her emotional moments, but she was nowhere near as bad as the other 7.
“I wonder to which male qualities the writer is referring. Is it the ignorance, the insolence, or just the immaturity” Way to fight fire with fire!
I think some of you are just in denial about the characteristics of our gender. Because honestly open your eyes and look around. The stereotypes are their for a reason (and I have experienced them all first hand, in the worst ways possible). Because most of the female population fits them (and I said MOST not all!)
Ali says:
Tue, 2nd Jun 200910:57 pm
Casey-
As a female manager, all those women are just piss-poor examples of women in leadership positions. I work in a place where the management staff is 50/50 male/female and we are all equally functional! In fact, it's one of the male managers that gets fussy about his ex coming in, so maybe guys can be just as bad as women sometimes, right?
zoe says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 20092:27 am
Casey,
no one here, I don't think, is saying that all women are great bosses, sure there are some crappy ones and I'm sorry to hear you've had bad experiences but in my opinion you are just as likely to have a bad experience with a male boss, maybe for diferent reasons, maybe the same ones. Either way there are just as many capable, together women out there as men and articles like the one discussed, as well as your stereotypical attitude, are not helpful to the women wo are deserving of positions of authority.
the other Casey says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 20094:48 am
I just hope that he gets everything that he deserves in life.
Engineer says:
Thu, 4th Jun 20092:08 am
How many of the Fortune 500 companies were founded by women? Maybe women arent greedy enough
Cody says:
Fri, 14th May 20105:14 am
Who cares if women make good leaders? Who cares even if they make better leaders? I doubt that any of that is true, regardless. But if they can forcibly take leadership from men, then so be it. I, for one, would fight that. And I hope I would not be the only man who would do so. We've already given women a lot. We gave them "no fault" divorce. We gave them the right to vote. The right to kill our children. What next? The whole of mankind's power?
What have women done with their power besides destroy the institution of marriage, kill millions of children, and help to vote Obama as president?
L says:
Fri, 14th May 20106:40 am
@cody- using the right to vote as well as having more rights in the institution of marriage was just idiotic on your part. having the right to vote isn't something women should be thanking men for, rather it is a basic us right that all citizens deserve.
marriage should be an equal partnership. for centuries women were not allowed to divorce their husbands on one charge alone (such as adultery), while husbands could more easily divorce their wives with their word as proof (leaving her and possibly children financially unstable). no fault divorce allowed couples to attain a divorce because they simply were not in love anymore.
the right to kill our children? over dramatic much? women should be able to have control over their reproductive health. no abortion shouldn't be used as a method of birth control, but a woman should have that choice. end of discussion.
Aphro says:
Sat, 22nd May 201011:49 am
WOW have you ever worked in a profession when you MUST handle pressure and you have serious dilemmas to resolve everyday? I guess not because you all seem to be so strong and all that stuff.
As me I worked in a huge firm for 5 years where I was the leader. I can tell you that it was really hard among the problems. YES IN FACT, women are more emotional than men. SO WHAT? Men too have problems! It's not the end of the world!
Yes, i've seen trough my job, men can more handle pressure and are less emotional than women, and I'M a WOMAN so I know what i'm talking about. Although, some rare women can be as tough as some men. Sure it takes leadership but not only there traits, but the capacity of handling A LOT of pressure. Trust me, not every women could success this.