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Is Taylor Swift Bad for Women?
June 3, 2009 Posted in Advice, Relationships
It’s the subject of half the love songs out there: soul mates and the idea of a happily ever after that awaits those lucky enough to find the so-called Knight in Shining Armor. Take Taylor Swift’s “Love Story” for example, the poster child for a happy ending:
And I said,
“Romeo save me – I’ve been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in my head? I don’t know what to think-”He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,
“Marry me, Juliet – you’ll never have to be alone.
I love you and that’s all I really know.
I talked to your dad – go pick out a white dress;
It’s a love story – baby just say ‘Yes.’”
Beautiful, right? Makes your eyes mist up a bit? Of course it does, it’s the quintessential love story. Girl meets guy. There is drama. Guy leaves. Girl waits for guy. Guy comes back. Cue the happily ever after. Except…wait a second. He left her, right? And she waited around for him without any indication he was coming back? Um, we might need to reconsider this.
Let’s look at some more examples. Movies like The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, When Harry Met Sally, hell, even He’s Just Not That Into You, and many more all have the same theme of love overcoming huge obstacles. But are these movies ruining us? Should we be waiting around for our soul mate to show up and magically make our life into some romantic movie? Where is our happily ever after??
Well…it’s here right now, if you want it.
You can have your happy ending any time you want and then go out and have another one (and another one and so on). “Happily ever after” doesn’t have to mean years of pining alone, waiting for your knight to have his adventures and come back for you. Um, what about your adventures?
I’m not saying throw romance out the window, not even close. However, romance isn’t only to be found patiently loving your prince from afar, Disney-style. Sometimes your prince needs to be hunted down. And guess what? This sweet world of ours has a lot of princes. I even met a prince last weekend at a club (he doesn’t speak English fluently, but that’s okay, I don’t discriminate among princes). The world of our generation is even bigger than Cinderella’s – we have planes, trains, automobiles, and the internet. Places like plentyoffish.com and nerve.com are pretty much smorgasbords for guys in hypothetical crowns.
Just be warned: in real life, princes are effed-up. They come from highly selective and traditionally inbred families and are often brought up to develop narcissistic tendencies (um, yikes). So prince is a relative term and often misunderstood. Just saying, maybe you should be looking for a nice dude who you can have a good time with rather than some crazy-ass royal.
You have a choice, my friends. You can sit at home and have your Disney romance (you better have TiVo because you’re gonna have a lot of down time) or you can go out and seize your love life by the balls (literally, if you like). In my opinion, it’s about time to get a handful of genitalia.
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Jes says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 20097:40 am
By the way Romeo doesn't "leave" Juliet, he's forced into exile after murdering her cousin and they're unable to see each other for a while…
Have you ever even read the story?? Geez…
Jes says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 20097:58 am
My bad, you're right… but the point was she's taking a great story and twisting it out of context.
Ellie says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 20098:49 am
She's not twisting the story out of context at all. If anything, Taylor Swift is twisting the story out of context. Romeo never goes to Juliet's father.
I thought this article was one of the better ones on this website.
Sarah says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 20099:12 am
This article was awful and full of obvious blather. By 2009, I believe most women our age already know that we don't have to sit around waiting for our Prince Charming. And I'm also sure that we don't take the messages in Taylor Swift's music and popular romantic comedies seriously.
We're not little girls anymore, and when I read "Is Taylor Swift Bad for Women?" I was hoping to read something worthy of a femblog. Guess I was wrong. This article was insulting to my intelligence.
Marisa says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 200910:08 am
Although I'm a Taylor Swift fan, I agree that some of her music is based in that hopeless romanticism that, one can argue, encourages girls to see love as pining after a guy. But the majority of her songs are fairly empowering. Her overall message is a positive one, and her appeal is completely understandable; she represents a large population of girls who may not be "Miss Popular" and have the perfect friends, perfect boyfriend, perfect life, etc.
"Love Story" is just one of her many songs. Her other music is based, as Taylor herself has said, on life experiences and past romances. I don't think she's necessarily idealizing love; I think she's voicing what millions of teenage girls feel every day, thereby legitimizing the emotional turmoil of growing up.
Taylor Swift isn't bad for women at all. She's really the first smart, down-to-earth role model to come along in a *very* long time. She certainly beats the Britneys and Lindsays out there.
Erin says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 200910:08 am
I agree with the article a little bit. I didn't like that this song is aimed at younger girls telling them how great it is to wait for a "prince", that having a guy makes everything great and fixes problems, and the one that pisses me off the most marriage is the only thing in a relationship, you cannot possibly be in it for fun and you can't not get married because it's bad. She's encouraging girls to be passive and that Fathers apparently own their daughters lives. It makes me frustrated when I hear it, it's played daily on the piped in music for my store so I don't have a choice whether I want to here her mindless sexist song.
Kat says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 200911:17 am
AmeN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lucy says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 200911:35 am
Taylor Swift is the WORST songwriter I've ever heard. I'm ashamed of people that listen to her music and I'm glad I've never heard the song mentioned.
Jes says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 200912:39 pm
Honey, its freakin’ Shakespeare, the entire song/video is a simple recreation. Regardless of who’s reading it, its a classic novel. (‘Romeo & Juliet,’ you may have read it once?)
Sounds like the next recommendation will be that we burn classic books, because they don’t fit into our progressive ideology.
How ridiculous.
Ayla says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 200912:50 pm
Romeo and Juliet was a play. Not many novels during billy’s time.
And you’re kinda missing the point; why idealize antiquated passivity in the name of romance? I get it. She’s not dissing the classics, don’t worry.
Kay says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 200912:33 pm
"The Paper Bag Princess" pretty much kicks every other princess story's ass.
Positively Present says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 20091:46 pm
LOVE TS but I have to admit that this is a bad, bad message. A better idea would be to listen to Ani DiFranco’s “Not a Pretty Girl” … “I ain’t no damsel in distess/ and I don’t need to be rescued/ so put me down punk/ maybe you’d prefer a maiden fair/ isn’t there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere”
http://www.positivelypresent.com
Rose says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 20091:38 pm
Actually,
I think Taylor Swift is GREAT for women.
She is a young, talented woman that is self-made and works damn hard! She hasn't sold out (yet) and isn't sex-ing herself up to sell herself and acts her age.
Further most of her songs paint real images of socialized images of gender roles, and as Taylor deconstructs them they become empowering. A lot of her songs deal with not taking shit from men, something that a lot of women of all ages are guilty from. She is fierce.
I think there are many artists out there that create this weak feminine character but Taylor has a great balance of songs that offer many views on the issue. Even "Love Story" can be viewed as 'Juliet' escaping her father's rule by pursuing Romeo. She chooses Romeo just as much as he chooses her. She doesn't turn against her family and she is able to pursue her goals. We need to stop being negative and promote positive messages through female-positive interpretations of lyrics.
I understand what you're trying to say but I think its silly to claim artists like Taylor are part of the problem when in reality she's just a symptom of our society's issues.
And, all Disney stories are sexist. From the Beast abusing Beauty, to the Little Mermaid surrendering HER VOICE to pursue a man, it all sucks.
Star says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 20095:40 pm
Romeo and Juliet was a story about a man who LUSTED after a woman and made her so upset that she (and he) killed herself. When the play starts, Romeo is talking about a woman, who is NOT Juliet, and how he wants to die because she rejects him. Then he instantly moves on to Juliet and does the same thing. This isn't the perfect love story. It's a tale about letting emotions go to far and killing yourself over something stupid.
Samantha says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 20095:48 pm
No one said it was the "perfect love story". I think a story where everyone ends up dead is rarely called the perfect love story.
I like Taylor Swift's songs. It seems like she has a pretty strong family (from her songs, I don't know anything about her) and I especially like the ones to the effect of, "you hurt me so you better not come back around, 'cause my dad's gonna hurt you." Cute
She was, what, 15 when her first album came out?
Mimzy says:
Thu, 4th Jun 20093:34 am
I see your point, but I never saw the song that way. To me, it seemed more like the guy left so that he could go plan how to get her dad to let them marry and finally surprise her with his proposal. There's no indication that he "dumped" her, really.
jacqui says:
Thu, 4th Jun 20094:37 am
she is vastly overrated over played over promoted
to little innocent tone deaf kids
she is not a good singer nor 'songwriter'
…the continuing saga of image over talent
MUSIC IS IN A SAD SAD SAD SAD STATE
the world is deprived of true talent
only looks matter??????????????????
jacqui says:
Thu, 4th Jun 20094:40 am
ps
SHE IS NOT SELF MADE
HER DADDY BOUGHT HER A RECORDING CONTRACR
SUNK THREE MILLION DOLLARS INTO HIS BABY
why doesn't little taylor simply be a clothes or hair model
?????????
akroezen says:
Thu, 4th Jun 20099:20 am
It's just a song people. She is just as entitled to express herself as the next person. If you don't like it, don't listen. She writes her songs based on her emotions…I don't think she wrote them expecting other people to pick them apart. Like I said, it's just a song…she isn't telling anyone how to or how not to live their life. She's just a kid…and she's doing better than most people.
Symo says:
Thu, 4th Jun 20099:22 am
Wow. Just… wow. The comments, not the article….
V says:
Thu, 4th Jun 200910:09 am
Romeo and Juliet is not a love story – its a tragedy. And its about how love is torn apart by blind hatred. Romeo and Juliet are victims of their world… Juliet didn't kill herself because a guy left her blah blah blah… jeesh…
as for swifts song – I think its put in the title "its a love story" – a story not real, but a story.
I agree with many points in the blog, society is full of stories of women changing everything for a man.
Unfortunately the movies mentioned – are full of women who find their own strength. Sally doesn't ever change for Harry – its he who chases her in the end. In He's Just Not Into You – the women all get what they want when they become their own person and don't wait for a man and stop freaking over everything oh, and he chases her in the end. The Notebook – she doesn't wait around for her lost love to come back, she moves on with her life and then they find each other again, and he chases her in the end. A Walk to Remember – a young girl who refuses to bend to a boys or societies wishes and views but stays strong in her faith. In none of those movies, that I have seen, does the woman sit around pining over a man and then suddenly get said man and live happily ever after. Each one has the woman growing, becoming independent, being happy, refusing to wait and then getting the man.
But maybe its just me… but these are better then movies like Gone with the Wind where a woman obsesses over one man her entire life and in the end, messes up all the other relationships in her life. Oh and enjoying getting raped?!
Elle says:
Fri, 5th Jun 200910:04 am
Perhaps, you should have listened to some of her other songs such as "White Horse", which was a response of sorts to "Love Story". The happy ending didn' last. Also, her song Should Have Said No is another good one to listen to if you believe all her songs enforce the happy ending love story belief.
jasmine says:
Fri, 5th Jun 200910:43 pm
how abt "You're not sorry" ? i think it's empowering.
and the song she wrote about Joe Jonas?
B says:
Tue, 16th Jun 20093:06 pm
I think this whole article is ridiculous. For one, "Romeo" did not leave her in this song, her father didn't approve and while he "left her" he was really getting her father to approve, which he winds up doing. He didn't leave her, but was rather gaining approval from her father.
Also, when there are stories, songs, and movies about princes, I highly doubt that anyone out there truly takes it literally. These love stories are exactly that, stories to provoke emotions, feelings and enjoyment… and more importantly, to feed our species need to have a happily ever after.
This is just a classic case of people overanalyzing everything, and its getting pretty out of control these days.
mk says:
Thu, 18th Jun 20093:39 pm
what was wrong w/the notebook? sure she fell in love w/ryan gosling but then she moved on to james marsden…its not like she was pining around for him. and a walk to remember?
arthritisremedy says:
Sat, 18th Jul 20092:21 am
everyone loves Taylor Swift. what a beautiful face, body and voice.
Raptor says:
Sun, 19th Jul 20094:37 pm
I think her songs are meant to make women feel good however much the whole prince and princess thing is complete fantasy; myth. This creates unhealthy expectation from some women. Of how a man "should" be, of how a woman "should" be, and how a relationship "should" be. Some dreaming is okay, but far out fantasies like those from disney should be kept in perspective. Otherwise, the girls that lose perspective may grow up with unrealistic expectations from relationship and men and suffer a life of unhappiness with regard to men.
sean says:
Wed, 22nd Jul 20098:42 pm
I believe your terrible writing is far worse than Taylor Swift could ever hope to be. Your writing style makes women seem like uneducated retards. Go read a Chomsky book and learn how to write.