Bad Advice Men Get: Never Open Up

Sarah says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 20099:19 am 

Your fury over this "Doc Love" is matched only by my own. This asshole sounds just like my ex, and I pray to whatever god we all believe in that no more than 10 men in the whole UNIVERSE are reading his bullshit book.

I oughta petition to have that shit banned and burned. Maybe we can schedule a little tarring and feathering for the "doctor" himself.

Amit says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 20099:42 am 

I followed Doc love's advice and EVERYTHING he said so far has been true. I used the advice in my last relationship and the girl loved it. Yes, the advice works because i became a challenge. She loved it.

Sarah says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 20099:52 am 

You should probably start a segment where you tear apart articles you find on AskMen.com.

I've been reading their advice articles with my mouth wide open in shock for the past 30 minutes.

Amit says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 200910:27 am 

When I used Doc Love's advice I got the lady to fall in love with me by allowing her to chase me. Although this may seem counterintuitive, women respond very well to this. And we want both the man and the woman to be happy in the relationship. I would highly recommend Doc Love's THE SYSTEM. The advice changed my life.

Star says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 20095:34 pm 

For some women, things like making them chase you and all that can work up to a point, but it's more of a flirting game not a rule to live by. I looked at Doc Lov's site as well, and he doesn't know how to actually attract women. Until he starts seeing them as people and not sex objects he'll never give any good advice.

Joe the Drunk says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 20096:47 pm 

oh and the advice you college ladies get on this website is just SO great… like the one about the "pull out" method for birth control LOL! or the one about using guys as meal tickets. talk about not seeing the opposite sex as people. this site is just like all the others – dumb fluff to get you to see retarded commercial advertisements like the one about suboxone for all you people hooked on prescription painkillers! LOL!!!

Bubba says:
Wed, 3rd Jun 20099:53 pm 

Shit, when you is the army, you suck it boy. Never let em see your true side. Only fags, commies, wimps and pussies act like chics..

Star says:
Thu, 4th Jun 20096:57 am 

At least most of the people LOL!!! on this LOL!!! site are educated and don't put LOL!! after every comment because they think using all caps and LOL!!!!! ten thousand exclamation points is cool. Guess what? It's not.

Nate says:
Thu, 4th Jun 20097:52 am 

I'll admit that the "system" is useful up to a point. That point is when you're in a serious relationship.

Symo says:
Thu, 4th Jun 20099:14 am 

Hey, don't blame us men if the system works. You womenfolk are the reason we have to listen to that douchebag. Most of his stuff is common sense, but if you don't know, then you learn a lot from the system (especially how to be a man-whore).

I can understand the ire from the ladies on this, but the truth is, you women are the ones buying into his system, not the guys. The system works when applied correctly… that is not a product of HIM, but a product of you ladies. So, get riled up about it all you want… it's your fault.

My opinion? Yeah, the guy should've opened up. If she bolts, she bolts. Bottom line? If you're using the system to get laid, the system WILL work, and you will get some. If you're looking for a partner, a lover, a wife? You'll need to be yourself, and that's something that Doc Love can't teach you.

Kelly - Simmons Coll says:
Thu, 4th Jun 20095:15 pm 

Sarah- we are starting a segment, check back every Wednesday!

Star says:
Sat, 6th Jun 20098:16 pm 

You have a point Symo, I think what's really frustrating about Doc Love and advice like that, however, is that many guys don't just use it to get laid but try to bring that into a relationship with them.

S says:
Mon, 8th Jun 20091:25 pm 

if someone follows another guy's advice blindly, he's the one with a low self esteem.

spewfDOTcom says:
Mon, 8th Jun 20091:37 pm 

I read cosmo daily

criolle johnny says:
Tue, 9th Jun 20092:02 pm 

"Open up to her, she needs ammunition".

Lewis Grizzard

Jenna says:
Wed, 10th Jun 20098:42 am 

The System doesn't sound much different than Cosmo, but for men. But then, I've never taken Cosmo's love advice seriously; there's a reason there's a "Cosmo Says the Darndest Things" mod on this site. Maybe many men look at AskMen.com's love advice the same way many women view Cosmo's love advice–with a grain of salt.

The only thing that bothers me about "Doc Love" in this article is that he clearly had no idea what to tell the man, because telling him how to resolve the situation would involve admitting that The System is not always right, particularly when it comes to long-term relationships. So he used an easy answer: dump her, because I have no clue what else to tell you.

Lex says:
Wed, 10th Jun 20094:37 pm 

I've been getting on AskMen's website for a couple years now, and just about everything they post is absolute dreck. Complete and utter sexist bullshit, and believe me, I am really slow to call anything sexist. But Doc Love's stuff is the worst. His cocky attitude pisses me off every time I even begin to open one of his articles, and it's pretty much why I stopped getting on the website.

Ash says:
Thu, 11th Jun 20096:07 am 

I am so fed up with this Doc Love, Mystery, "The Game" system shit. I have been involved with guys who swear by such structured methods of "attracting women" and I'll tell you now that although it was new and refreshing at first, the whole game got old. The system is essential just a really clever and effective load of bull currently being dished out to guys as the holy grail of "secret advice." Yeah, right. The only stage such tactics are even remotely useful are during the early flirting stages of a potential relationship, but if a guy keeps playing the dodgy, mysterious character any interest that was there would surely be extinguished.

Chocolate Jesus Fo' Shizzle says:
Sun, 14th Jun 20094:13 am 

Walk into the light, ye my people, for the truth is coming! The Lord your Chocolate Jesus is gonna turn you on to what is real. Ladies and germs,

The trouble with men and the trouble with you women are one and the same:
INDUSTRIAL SEX

That, my congregationers, is what the media has come to lead you to expect in the bedroom. It is as fictional as Pac-Man or Elle Woods, Attorney at Law, and yet you still believe in this false prophet that will take you to orgasmic heaven. Let us not be led, however, into temptation by the great satan of INDUSTRIAL SEX.

Industrial sex is what “The System,” “The Game,” “Double Your Dating,” porno, Cosmo, Sex and the City, what passes for hip-hop on Top 40 radio today, and the whole spirit of “sex sells” in the media promotes as sex.

Ask yourselves, my disciples in the Lord of Sex, whether you want a “lover” or a porn-star. My flock,

YOU ARE BEING MISLED INTO BELIEVING THAT A LOVER AND A PORN STAR ARE ONE AND THE SAME.

When women ask why men look at so much porn when the distaff sex lives so easily without it, they are reflecting confusion as to the diffusion of the pornographic mentality in popular culture. Women our age, in this millennial generation, are just as much affected by the pornographic attitude to sex as men; they just are affected indirectly through a cheapening of sex in their glossy magazines, their glossy TV shows, their glossy movies, and their glossy music. That’s how it works, ladies.

These men that follow “The Game” embody one key characteristic of the porno star, the kind of man that Cosmo, etc., tells you ladies to literally bend over backwards to please: complete incommunicability.

Let’s face it: American lifestyles are all about convenience, and what’s easy is usually what’s convenient. The “stud” who never asks his woman what she wants inside or outside of the bedroom is the perfect man for industrial sex; he’s not so much a man as a “sex machine,” as James Brown put it. He’s there to give you a quick and easy orgasm, which can be replaced by any other one, just like the dime-a-dozen products you’re constantly being conditioned to grab off the shelves. No muss, no fuss, no work, just quick and dirty sex: hooking up, as we now call it.

Hooking up is more quick and convenient than making love, my ewe-lambs, but it isn’t as satisfying or sexy as making love. The things that you are led by your precious magazines to believe are important, like how long a guy lasts his first time with you or how many positions he can fuck you in, are not giving you good sex. You may think that what you settle for is good enough, but you are wrong.

The good news is, you can solve the problem, ladies. Practice what you preach and talk to your man about what you really want and enjoy in bed. If he negotiates with you, great. If he just says, “my way or the highway,” you both have made a serious mistake getting together, partly because of the cheap, industrial sex you’ve been trying to have. It’s not enough to just fondle each other blindly and give each other sexy looks. You have to talk to each other. You’re not just animals; you’re the only animals on the planet that can talk to each other and that is why we human beings have the longest, most satisfying sex in the animal kingdom.

The guy who just muscles his way in and doesn’t ask you what turns you on isn’t going to give you sex that’s worth the hassle trying to get along with him. That’s something Cosmo and “the Game” don’t teach people, but it’s something you need to know. You have to talk to each other to have great sex. It’s a two-way street. If you ladies don’t tell your sex partner what you want, you are not trusting him to “be a man”; you are settling for whatever you get.

If you’ve ever wondered why you’ve had so many bad experiences with players who laid you and didn’t call back, it’s probably because he wasn’t man enough to talk about sex with you and/or you weren’t open enough to talk about it with him; he just wanted to lay you and leave you, not giving a damn how great a time you had. It’s all about him.

By the same token, if you’ve ever wondered why you had one or more bad experiences with a virgin guy or a guy who otherwise didn’t last long his first time with you, leading you to reject him right off the bat or to feel awkward with him, you’re dealing with the same problem: you didn’t want to talk over his first time in a constructive way and/or he was afraid he wouldn’t be man enough if he talked about it with you.

By now, my point should be clear: a guy who talks to you and asks you what you think is not a “needy wimp” who will fail in the bedroom. He is your ticket to the best sex of your life if you tell him what gets you off as well as what’s on your mind. If you don’t, then you’re the one who isn’t doing your part to make real chemistry happen because he’s making an effort and so should you, instead of just trying to see what kind of things you memorized in Cosmo that they say will “drive him wild.” If you want him to explode that quickly, then don’t expect him to last that long, for god’s sake.

Anyway, I, Chocolate Jesus fo’ shizzle, am tired of having conversations with you ladies ’till I’m blue in the face and having you see me as just the “dorky friend.” I’d talk about sex with you if you didn’t act like it’s some kind of privilege I’m not entitled to. Sexual harassment laws don’t punish women and men equally, so it’s up to you. I don’t make my college enough ticket sales to get away with breaking its policies, so don’t blame me if I don’t “make the first move.” When I listen to you while talking, that’s my legit way of saying I’ll do what you want again if you like it: that is the mark of a stud, not that of a dud.

When you figure that out, stop reading your Cosmos and picking out the next Mandroid(TM) who you can get in your stupid positions on and have the same old boring sex with, go out into the real world, flirt with one of your “friends” (since friends with benefits are kind of in, in case you haven’t noticed) or make a real guy friend if you don’t have one already, talk through what you wanna do, and start having great sex in the real world instead of choosing between perfect fantasies and lousy real-world imitations of them. Get real with your BFF/new BF and realize that you’re not “ruining the friendship”; you’re just taking it to another level in a way that’s perfectly natural for civilized human beings. Even the Kama Sutra, as misguided as its technical attitude towards doing the do is, couldn’t have been made by a group of people who didn’t talk about sex before getting horizontal.

Until I find one of you who’s come to your senses about sex, I’m gonna enjoy the friendship of those of you that offer it to me and get me a Fleshlight. I will fuck the shit out of that artificial vagina while looking at softcore nudity, not the hardcore porn that fucks your brain up, and I will learn to be the best Fleshlight-fucker on the planet, because, you know what? I will get a better lay out of that device than I will get out of a woman that won’t talk to me about what she wants in bed and would rather find a “fantasy man” to play out somebody else’s storebought, assembly-line, TV-dinner, Cosmo-Guhlfriend industrial-size fantasy with. You would be boring in bed and I deserve better, and the saddest part is, so do you. Everybody deserves great sex, and everyone could get it if we talked to each other instead of trying to trick each other.

When you’re ready to be an honest woman and you’re looking for a real man that wants to know how to satisfy you, because you know you’ll feel good satisfying a man like that, I will be ready at the above e-mail address and,

I, CHOCOLATE JESUS WILL ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE, AND GIVE YOU THE LOVIN’ YOU DESERVE!!!!!!!!

Willy says:
Sun, 14th Jun 200910:34 am 

HEy Chocolate , you must have a lot of time on your hands to write dat BS..

what are you, 15 y.o.?

Chocolate Jesus Fo&# says:
Tue, 16th Jun 20096:00 am 

Hey Willy! I'm 20, hence the comment about being in college. Have you ever asked a woman what her wildest fantasy is, or do you just cum and run like a scared little boy?

Thinker says:
Sun, 28th Jun 20091:29 pm 

The following is from Doc Love's book:

"Being open works with shrinks, but it doesn’t work with Miss Right, if you do it too soon. You don’t know when. But you know that the time will be right after she spill her guts to you. So, allow her to be open with you – first. This is the 2nd “C” Control. To practice Challenge you will need patience, self-control and patience. Sounds easy, doesn’t it?"

Sure, nothing out there is 100% accurate in every situation all the time… Use your heads. But, for the love of g_d, know fully before you attack a single point or a line taken out of context.

Schalk Dormehl says:
Mon, 13th Jul 20093:40 pm 

Doc Love seems to be exhibiting traits of Authoritarianism and Misogyny with a hint of Misandry (just to universally hate everyone).

I've followed his advice before and I gotta tell you it turned out disastrously.

The dude misnamed himself, Doc "Love", maybe Doc "Control", there aint no love in that system. I don't mind working on a skill set for relationships, but not if it starts to ring every bit of joy out of you.

Neal says:
Sat, 15th May 20104:36 am 

The system works, as long as you are genuine in your consistent application of it. What this is, is more of a behavioral modification course for men. You can choose to slap labels on the man, but in my experience (I am much older than y'all), he is generally correct. Women do love mystery and challenge. It's centuries-old wisdom, and is largely accepted as a fact; no amount of denial and shaming language is going to change this. I think women are miffed that guys like Doc Love has their "mysterious ways" figured out. Women really are quite simple, just as are men.

What Doc Love (I do get irritated by that name) provides is not misogyny (he constantly stresses the importance of respecting women) but guidance into and a system of practice that keeps the fires burning during a protracted relationship and marriage. And you can find fault with that?

Chris says:
Wed, 5th Jan 20111:22 pm 

Hey,

All I can say is the system works, I can understand the issues people have with this but it does work, the system isn’t about manipulating or getting laid it’s about keeping a women interested long term the book teaches men to be respectful, self controled, patient, and capable. It shows men how to be GENTLEMEN and a mans – man and helps us to recodnise what qualities we want for future wifes and mothers to our children.

The women refered to in this artical was telling this man she wanted to get Marrid but was afraid to comit, that she didn’t know him and wanted to comunicate but she loved him. After 2 years together she didn’t know him??? He told her the problems in his life were his to address and not for him to burden her with so it wasn’t that she didn’t know him it’s that she wanted him to talk about things he felt were his problem to deal with. The issues isn’t him, the issue is she lacks the self esteam to handle the fact he wants to keep his problems to himself, if she can’t handle that then how can she handle marrid life or having kids?

tameyah says:
Wed, 5th Jan 20113:53 pm 

shut-up

tameyah says:
Wed, 5th Jan 20113:54 pm 

i'm system you

herb says:
Fri, 3rd Jun 20114:02 am 

Herb likes pizza.

Jamie says:
Mon, 8th Aug 201112:34 pm 

you're still little girls.