Celebrity Products We Want To See

It seems that every celebrity tries their hand at the retail business. Jennifer Lopez, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Beyonce, and more, put out random clothing lines and perfumes every month.

Instead of trusting the business intuition of people who made it big on their ability to look pretty and stand on cue (really – who needs another celebrity perfume??), we decided to make our own list of celebrity products that are more appropriate to the celebrities themselves:

Angelina Jolie Fertility Drugs – When one (or two, or eight) just isn’t enough…

Amy Winhouse Coke Mirrors – Because no one knows lines like Amy.

Britney Spears Electric Razors – Nothing but the best will do to shave your head.

Michael Jackson Boys Underwear – Choosy mothers choose MJ’s (backless) Boys Underwear.

Tom Cruise Couches – Now with sturdier construction and more durable fabric for those days when you just feel like jumping around!

Zac Efron Hair Extensions – The sexy side-swept look will drive the ladies wild!

Kanye West Earplugs – Because people say a lot of stupid sh*t.

Heidi Montag Relationship Guides – Now you, too, can find the only person on earth who finds you attractive.

Madonna ‘roids - When you need that ripped, sinewy look for a special night out…

Ashlee Simpson Lipsyncing Machines – It’s almost like real singing!

Chris Brown Boxing Gloves – Nothing protects your hands better while you’re punching…stuff.

Lily Allen Double-Sided Tape – For those rare occasions when showing your nips isn’t appropriate.

Paris Hilton Body Condoms: Protecting you from skin to skin contact since 2009.

We can only hope that these products (well, maybe not all of them) see the glorious light of day in a display window someday soon.  We’ll get our checkbooks ready, just in case.