I’m Awesome, I Know It, and I Don’t Think It’s a Problem

June 10, 2009     Posted in Reality

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By Katie

Sometimes you see/read the craziest things on the internet (two girls, one cup…) that can make you laugh hysterically or get really angry (or – in the case of two girls, one cup – make you hurl).  Today I read something that made me do both.  A blogger on thedailybeast.com scribbled a little article about our generation and the increase in narcissism.  Not only did the article indicate that most of us are narcissistic sluts, but it also said that our “I can do and have anything I want” attitude is preventing us from focusing on close, emotional relationships.

Wait, what?

I don’t know about you… wait, yes I do. We’ve all been force-fed the idea our entire lives that we need to focus on ourselves and build a strong character so we can be independent enough to survive. We’ve been taught since birth that if we want something we need to do whatever we can to get it for ourselves.  How is going after what we want and expecting the best lives for ourselves suddenly narcissistic?!

Is it wrong to like myself and want to do things just for me before I settle down to have one of those close, emotional relationships? Or to, I don’t know, look for my perfect mate? No, I think not.

I’ll admit that some of the examples of narcissism in our generation cited in the article are genuinely crazy: you’d have to be clinically insane to hire paparazzi to follow you around for the weekend (and besides, aren’t they busy with Brangelina?) or get a professional photographer to take your Facebook photo (if you do this, you are lame).  But that’s not the norm.

And, sure, Twittering what you had for lunch or thinking that you could be the next Chelsea Handler may be a little more narcissistic than people of the past, but so what! If you can’t love yourself, who will?  The consensus is that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else (thank you, Dr. Phil, Oprah, Tyra, etc.) and I guess we’re just better at that than previous generations.  The ability to love and focus on oneself should not be a scapegoat for our apparent lack of traditional relationships, as the article has made it out to be:

…a few unreturned booty texts and some one-night stands might be the least of the collateral damage wrought by the narcissism epidemic. Narcissists are myopically focused on how they appear to the world. Translated into the realm of romantic relationships, the message comes across as: I’m great, and you’d better be, too.

I’d rather be a narcissist with a good job and a great sex life than a pushover in a dead-end relationship who can’t stand on her own two feet (not like those are the only choices – I’m just saying).

I say screw this article!  I AM awesome and whoever I date better be just as awesome.  No, I’m not completely obsessed with myself and no, my life isn’t perfect.  I just want to be an independent, strong single lady with a positive attitude.  We have the world at our feet, why not try to grab up as much of it as we can?

10 Comments on "I’m Awesome, I Know It, and I Don’t Think It’s a Problem"

  1. Positively Present says:
    Wed, 10th Jun 200911:26 am 

    LOVE YOURSELF!!! I'm all about loving who you are and thinking you're awesome. Keep spreading that word!

    http://www.positivelypresent.com http://www.hopespringsinternal.com

  2. Mimzy says:
    Wed, 10th Jun 200911:51 am 

    Isn't it possible to have a great attitude, be in a great relationship, and NOT be a raging narcissist? It's one thing to think positively and believe in yourself, but entirely another to think that everything's about you.

    One thing I notice a lot about people in our generation is that, generally, we understand each other very well and get along great with each other. But what about getting along with people significantly older or younger than us? That's important too. And I think the only way to do that is to let go of the ridiculous belief that the rest of the world exists solely to make us happy.

  3. Annie says:
    Wed, 10th Jun 200912:24 pm 

    Well written.

    I think the original article is both underestimating our generation and confusing confidence with narcissism. Like this…

    "“There is a national obsession with feeling good about yourself,” says Real"

    Uhm, excuse me? Since when are we encouraging people to NOT feel good about themselves?

    EVERYONE should be working on their self esteem. You may not be better or worse in a relationship if you are confident, but you are damn well better off in life. Every girl (and boy for that matter) should be happy with themselves rather than relying on other things or people- it isn't healthy to depend on outside sources for happiness!

    If people are having trouble with relationships because of their confidence, that's something else. The inability to compromise or look beyond your own desires isn't because you have good self esteem; its because you are stubborn and took your confidence TOO FAR or have an abusive streak in your personality.

    "Confidence" in itself isn't a bad thing.

    Balance is key. There are always people who will take things too far.

  4. criolle johnny says:
    Wed, 10th Jun 20091:17 pm 

    Annie has a point, "Balance is key"!

    Showing up late for work is not balance.

    Turning in incomplete or late work is not balance.

    Surly attitude toward authority (the boss) is not balance.

    Wanting a raise after a week of this behavior is …

    This is what students do for 12 years of school and 4 (or more) years of college. Schools groom their "self-esteem" and then they get fired from their first six jobs in the first year.

    "screw this article! I AM awesome" Nah, YOU don't have a problem.

  5. Courtney says:
    Wed, 10th Jun 20092:06 pm 

    I find that getting along with people in my age group around 18-25 or thereabouts is fine. I just find it hard to respect or even listen to anyones opinion older than that. To me, it is irrelevant and not worth my time. Furthermore, if someone is talking who is ugly, I won't even listen at all as their opinion is worthless and of no value to me. Even when watching tv, I will only watch shows with attractive people. If I watch some show where there are different guests or people who come on to give their point of view, often times if the guest is ugly, I will just turn the channel. Their opinion doesn't matter to me. I am sure most people feel the same way.

  6. Lauren H - The New S says:
    Wed, 10th Jun 20092:47 pm 

    I am really hoping that Courtney was being ironic…

    But I do agree that there is a difference between confidence and narcissim. I hear a lot (particularly as I prepare to enter the workforce) that people of my generation expect things to be handed to them because they're raised to believe that they're the most wonderful think on the planet. And that's probably true for some of the generation. But I also know a lot of people around my age who work hard and respect people with more experience.

    I think that it's probably more socially acceptable now, particularly with social networking and all, not to be falsely humble about things. And i think there is probably less willingness to settle in our gen than in others but i wouldn't say that's narsicism as much as it is drive.

    I admit that i have flaws and i am not always great at everything, but i'm a good person and i work for the things i want, so why should i settle for mediocre (in life or love) if i am willing to work toward something better?

  7. Courtney says:
    Wed, 10th Jun 20093:49 pm 

    Ironic? Huh? What did I write that wasn't true? I only respect the opinion of people in my age group who are attractive. That is the way that 99 percent of people my age think. People don't even listen to what ugly people have to say because their opinion is worthless. Also, fat people should never even speak because who cares what they think? They are automatically dismissed by me on sight just like ugly people.

    Whenever I watch tv shows, the only ones that I watch are ones when the actors or the guests commentating on a story are attractive. Once again, fat people will never be on my tv screen. Why should they? This is the way that most people think. If you don't, you are in the minority.

  8. Talia says:
    Thu, 11th Jun 20098:09 am 

    Lol, I'm in a very emotional relationship and I love myself. i won't beat around the bush, I am pretty awesome. What's wrong with looking in the mirror, and liking what you see? Or thinking about life and loving it?

    In yo face, thedailybeast.

    *Also, don't people say you have to love yourself before people can love you? Not according to this chappy who says if we love ourselves we can't possibly love anyone else/be loved. Hehe. Foot in the mouth incident.

  9. John says:
    Fri, 10th Jul 20096:39 am 

    Well what all you special turds don't realize is that you wind up in the same place together. Fitting. To think that the world revolves around you without a clue about other people's feelings is moronic. I worked with a narcissistic teacher who said she doesn't own or read books. How crazy is that? She also did not know/care about anything that did not include her own boobs and ass. That about sums up the new narcissistic adult baby culture.

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