The Morning After Recap: An Encounter With The PoPo

June 14, 2009 Posted in HaHa, Sex

[One of the greatest aspects of college life is the morning-after recap with friends. You stumble out of bed, grab your liquid of choice, and gather around the living room to replay (and remind yourself of) the events of last night. You laugh, you cringe and you share the highest of highs...and the rock-bottom lowest of lows. We thought we'd bring the fun of the recap to CollegeCandy, so grab that coffee and take part in the deliciously awkward moments your CC friends have to share.]

One evening after senior year of High School had just finished, my boyfriend and I were lying around watching T.V. On That 70’s Show, Donna and Eric had just gotten caught having sex in their car. The policeman took them home and I could feel their embarrassment as they had to explain what happened to their parents.

“That’s it,” I told my boyfriend, “I’m not having sex in the car anymore. Look what happened to Donna and Eric!”

“It’s just a T.V show, this stuff doesn’t happen in real life,” he reassured me. I believed him. After all, many absurd things happen on That 70’s Show that would never happen in the real world, right?

So the next night when my boyfriend suggested we go for a drive, I thought why not? We went down a long dirt road in a nearby town and parked at a lake. After sitting by the water we went back to the car and started fooling around in the back of his Jeep. After we had sex and were lying in the back on top of blankets, I noticed another car pull into the lot. I assumed it was just going to turn around, but then the light started getting closer and closer and I soon realized that it was not the headlights of a car, but rather a flashlight. And on the other end of this flashlight was a policeman.

OMG! Was this really happening? Surely this was some kind of a joke. I was wearing abso. lutely. nothing. He tapped on the side window and my boyfriend rolled it down.

“Uhh hi,” he said.

“Put on your clothes and come out of the vehicle,” Officer D-bag said.

“I’m not going out there!” I yelled at my boyfriend as Officer A-Hole shone his light in and watched as I got dressed. Creep. “You’re going to have to go out there,” I told him.

My boyfriend got out of the car and I saw him chatting with the officer. He came back to the Jeep and told me I had to go out and talk to him too.

I reluctantly got out of the car. Disheveled and scared I approached the policeman. Surprisingly he as more concerned than angry at first. “Are you here on your own will?” The officer asked me. I laughed to myself; the officer thought my boyfriend had abducted me! (Understandable given the fact that I was totally cuter than him.)

“Umm yeah,” I said, “I am.”

“So this was something you did willingly?” he asked me. I supposed that sending my boyfriend to jail was not a fair payment for encouraging me to continue our car sexcapades, so I told the officer that, unfortunately, I was also as stupid as my boyfriend.

Officer Night-Ruiner then told me he needed our licenses to run a scan and see if there were warrants out for our arrest. (WTF?) The scan came up clean – umm, duh , I’ve never even had a speeding ticket! What does this officer think I am? A hooker? A runaway? A drug dealer? I was just a teenage girl lookin’ for some action.

Apparently he did not see it that way and then said he needed to search our car. “You are going to need to open the doors,” he told us, “the windows are fogged up.” I tried to make a joke and befriend the officer. “I can’t imagine why that is, officer”

He sneered.

After thoroughly searching the car, Officer Stick-Up-His-Ass turned back to us and reminded us that it is illegal to be at this lake after sunset and not to do it again. I looked at my boyfriend, looked back at the cop and assured him that it was never. going. to happen. again.

We have been sticking to beds ever since.

3118919 Comments2009-06-14+17%3A00%3A25Anonymous on "The Morning After Recap: An Encounter With The PoPo"

Amy says:
Sun, 14th Jun 20099:15 am

I hope you reported him! Even if you HAD been abducted there was no need to stare at you naked, that's just sick. And I'm pretty sure that search was illegal unless you consented (which you shouldn't have).

On the other hand having sex in a public place IS illegal and you're lucky he didn't try to charge you with indecent exposure or lewd conduct or any of those ridiculous charges that get you put on the sex offender's registry.

snarktastic says:
Sun, 14th Jun 20099:17 am

i fail to see how this officer is a "d-bag", "a-hole", or "stick up his ass".

he was doing his job and let you all off with a warning. seems rather generous.

Kay says:
Sun, 14th Jun 200911:38 am

how could you see if he was watching if he was shining a flashlight in the car? maybe he was just trying to give you some light to speed up the process.

Twin XL says:
Sun, 14th Jun 200912:20 pm

I had a very similar experience in a cemetary in my teenage days. I can relate. Horrifying. lol, but funny.

http://www.twinxlbedding.com

Jamie says:
Sun, 14th Jun 20094:31 pm

Happened to me once – the officer was so nice. She thought we were smoking pot in the park (we'd seen a few cars hotboxing on our way to our secluded corner, so no surprise she thought we were up to the same thing), and said once she realized what we were actually doing, she lowered the lights and tried to give us enough time and privacy to get dressed and ready to talk. She asked me if I was there of my own free will, too, told us that it was illegal to be in the park after dark, and let us go on our way. I could barely stop laughing after, but my bf didn't think it was that funny.

However, it is super creepy of him to not give you space to get dressed and to search your car afterwards – not necessary.

Pete says:
Mon, 15th Jun 20096:05 am

Try it on a golf course green on a moonlit night. Fun and Adventerous.

lawyermommy says:
Mon, 15th Jun 20098:15 am

Y I KESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I have no college age children but still this is freaking creepy!!

Sex in the car? How comfortable can that Be? How GROSS! It makes me almost PUKE.

What are you studying in school? Hopefully not one that involves due diligence and care for the lives of people. It is kinda careless to have sex in open view–in a car

Well, maybe you are a nineteen year old who will find out later that it is a mess to so stuff like that.

Blessings!

Shea says:
Mon, 15th Jun 200912:06 pm

Why is there a mom trying to judge a funny story on COLLEGEcandy. really. I thought it was a funny story, and hope that this never happens to me! Live and learn.

livia says:
Mon, 15th Jun 20093:13 pm

he's not allowed to search your car without a warrant. know your rights!!

Star says:
Mon, 15th Jun 20095:06 pm

Lol, she wasn't having sex in plain view, it was in a secluded area. And I'm sure that you've done it before. Maybe you got caught and that's why you're so bitter, lawyermommy? Oh, and FYI, using twenty S's in a word and all caps isn't cool anymore. I hope the lawyer part is a joke, or that you at least have a better vocabulary than "freaking" when you're in court.

Star says:
Mon, 15th Jun 20095:16 pm

But after clicking the link on your name, I realize that you have the rare internet Caps & !!!!'s disease, so I will forgive you. Now go in peace.

lawyermommy says:
Mon, 15th Jun 20096:25 pm

Star,

GASP!

I am in peace, thanks tho. Ha. Your response was funny— and yes, I have done and still do some crazy things but being caught in such a situation is not one. At least not that I can recall.

Your post made me laugh.

PS: Thanks for reminding me of my legal language… "freaking"lol.. Well, I do not use it except in little quirky responses online and occasionally when I am all set to lose a case

On a serious note…peace to you and lots of blessings too!

J says:
Sat, 20th Jun 20094:28 pm

I find it funny that the thoughts of sex in a car surprises anyone…not to say that I think that EVERYONE does it, but I think that a fair amount of the population has hooked up in someway within the boundaries of their partners vehicle, or at least would personally know someone who has.

Plus, I don't think this is anything new, I'm pretty sure the story goes that my great aunt Cindy got pregnant after a michevious night at the drive in…which must have been in the early 60's at least?!

Has anyone else ever heard that myth about the couple who was making out in a parked car in the woods when a madman came and attacked them? True or not, that story has always haunted me anytime I go for a late night drive with my boy…

Star says:
Sun, 21st Jun 200911:46 pm

I've heard that story in a number of different versions. It really scares me lol :p

lawyermommy says:
Mon, 31st Aug 200910:11 pm

Yes, it was a huge ape and he dragged the woman away and kept her in PA for years. A monster. Be careful peeps. There are crazy people everywhere.

http://theblindspotsofgod.wordpress.com/

Lawyermommyisabitch says:
Wed, 5th May 20106:12 pm

Lawyer mommy

Get a life you old hag

... says:
Sun, 24th Apr 20119:33 pm

act your age
you sound like you're in middle school
you should also get a life

... says:
Sun, 24th Apr 20119:34 pm

lol i don't think she's a mommy at all she's probably just a jealous 40 year old virgin