Is Being Less Picky Just Lowering My Standards?
June 16, 2009 5:00 pm Posted in Love
It is no secret that my mom wants grand kids. And not “Oops, the condom broke” grand kids, she wants the real deal. So the fact that I’ve been sans serious boyfriend for a very long time now is getting her a bit anxious. (Though, I have to say, even if I was on the verge of marriage, those things aren’t coming out of my thing any time soon.)
Every time I’m home I get the same question: “Met anyone yet?” And every time I have the same answer: “Nope.”
I’m flattered by the fact that she’s consistently surprised (or very good at acting that way) and always feel a pang of guilt that her only daughter has yet to rope in a man. And when she sits down and begins to give me pointers and advice on what I might be doing wrong, I really try and listen, but I’m not sure I can take advice about lingerie, acting like a lady and making the guy “buy the milk” from a woman who has been married for 30 years. And happens to be my mother. Barf.
But her most recent lecture got me thinking: “Maybe you should open yourself up a bit and try dating different kinds of guys.”
I went through the Rolodex in my head of all the guys I’d ever dated or wanted. They were all quite similar: tall, sarcastic, good dressers… Maybe she had a point. Maybe things haven’t been working out for me because I’m looking at the wrong people. Maybe it’s time to start looking for love in other places, try dating someone a bit younger, or shorter, or less educated than me.
Maybe the type of shoes the guy is wearing isn’t so important.
But at the same time, isn’t that lowering my standards? Why should I have to settle for someone who isn’t exactly what I want? It’s not like I’m looking for Brad Pitt perfect; I’m looking for my perfect. I shouldn’t have to give in just to find someone. I don’t want just someone – I want the one.
I don’t want to be alone forever (I could really use a BF to pick me up from the bar when my shoes hurt too much to walk home), but I don’t want to give up on my perfect man just to have someone, either.
What do you think? Is opening up to new people just another form of lowering your standards?