“I mean you have have some standards about men like criminal records or bad behavior but what difference does it make if the person is not like you.. if it doesn’t have a college degree or speaks many languages, you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover”

Your standards are a little too low, methinks. Asking for a guy with the same education level is hardly being picky, especially if you want to make the relationship long-term and money is a concern. It’s good to be open-minded, but if you limit yourself to just the bare minimum every woman has for an acceptable guy – like not being a criminal, not being mean – then you’re going to have a lot of difficulty finding someone who is right for you. There’s a big difference between choosing guys based on shoe preference and choosing guys based on their education level and how much money they make.

Different people are going to have different needs in a spouse. For example, my mom and stepdad get along perfectly despite the fact that they have radically different tastes in music. But as a composer, I’m a bit choosier in that regard. It’s not like I expect a guy to love classical music the best, but if he doesn’t know & appreciate a little bit about it, it’s going to be hard for him to understand what I do every day. Because I’m also very politically active, I also couldn’t date someone whose political views are too different from mine, though they don’t have to be the same on every issue. To some of my friends, it might seem like I’m being a bit picky, but I can easily point out other areas where they’re choosier than I am; for example, I don’t care much about whether a guy is interested in sports or not, but I can see how that would be important to an athlete or fan.

The author could be a bit more open-minded, but that doesn’t mean she needs to completely chuck out her standards. For a lot of us, education level is a very important consideration, and just because you don’t care much about it doesn’t mean everyone feels the same way or it’s “right” to do so. I’ve seen a lot of bad relationships come about when a highly-educated woman feels she needs to compromise on the education front and dates a guy who never went to college and has no intellectual interests. I think you’re being way too judgmental here.

And as for the girl who says if you speak 4 languages, he needs to speak 3? That's lame. How about: If I have hobbies I'm passionate about, he has to have some too? I may speak 4 languages (which I actually do, by the way), but if he's an accomplished musician/artist/golfer/insert-talent, then that balances it out nicely. That makes more sense, because the underlying quality that you're really looking for is someone with passion & talent.

Too picky (and probably not knowing what you want): I want a 6'2" man who is only 2-7 years older than me, who earns $x a year, with a Master's degree, who has travelled to y# of countries, drinks only booze z and knows the difference between Gucci and Prada. (What if he's emotionally or physically abusive? or the chemistry just isn't there?)

Knowing what you want (and not settling): I want a man who is confident, who I can have an intelligent debate with, who has integrity and zest for life. (Because you're more likely to have a successful relationship with a guy whose personality you like more than his clothes or height.)

I sincerely hope you end up with a short, bald guy with appalling taste in clothes and realise how shallow you are now and how much happier you are being with a guy for who he actually is and how being with him makes you feel.

And now I sound preachy… sorry about that.