Tuffy Luv Sez, You Ain’t No Cow

"He's not gonna buy me if he can get that milk for free...from lots of bitches."

Want your question answered in like a really Tuffyesque way?! Email TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and ye shall re-CEIVE!

By Sara

And now for the question. But first:

Confidential to Tulsi: Forget him. There will be much hotter, cooler guys at college (in two weeks!). He’s trying to get in your pants because it’s a challenge (and, I’m sure, because you’re cute), but his time has passed.

Okay, for real this time:

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I am way past confused right now, and advice would be greatly appreciated. So here’s the situation: I met this guy last year, he was in my class. We talked, I ended up really liking him. He kept trying to hookup with me, but I kept telling myself, I’m not that kind of girl, I want a relationship. Eventually, I ended up hooking up with him over the summer. Told my two best friends because it was my first time. One of ended up drunkingly put me on speaker phone and lots of people found out. Me and the guy got in a huge fight, and stopped talking. We made up, and then we ended up hooking up.

School year comes around and he doesn’t ignore me completely, but I get like a wave or a smile, and things definitely aren’t what they used to be, but we were still hooking up. A few weeks ago he asked me to the movie “sometime” but then never asked me for a specific day. I hooked up with him a couple of days ago, and then I found out that he asked 3 girls to his cotillion. He’s a senior and I’m a junior, so I’m not going to the dance, and he hooked up with another girl. What makes me mad is that he didn’t even ask me. Do I have a right to be mad? I don’t know what to do with the situation. Like, we’re not in a relationship, so what do I do? Do I break things off with him? Do I just ask him, or do I yell? Right now I’m at the point where I really like him a lot. I know he’s going off to college next year, but it’s a community college and he’s commuting so he’ll still be in town. Thanks for reading this. Help me please.

Dazed and Confused

Dear Dazed and Confused,

Oh, honey.

Dump this a**hole. Please. If you can even call it dumping. It’s obvious to me, as someone who doesn’t have to know this douche in person, that he is playing you like an electric Gibson. With steel strings. And a cute little decal. But, I digress.

This guy is seeing (read: fooling around with) many girls. He sees you only as a hookup. You were right when you originally thought you didn’t want to be that kind of girl. (Take this as a lesson, Tulsi.) But, okay, damage is done. Now you have to learn from your mistakes.

See, the great thing about being a woman in this modern day and age is that you can sleep with whomever you want, whenever you want. BUT! You also need to understand that fooling around with a guy does not make you his girlfriend. In fact, many guys will respect you less if you let them fool around with you but not have to get to know you as a person as well. Sorry, kids! That’s just the way it is.

Now, honey, I’m not trying to be harsh. I don’t think you did anything wrong. As a matter of fact, I think what you did was fine. However, understand that you have no rights to this guy and, as a matter of fact, you’ve basically screwed yourself out of ever having any kind of relationship with him. He knows he can get with you without having to get to know you better, and he’s not interested in getting to know you better. Pretending he might sometime take you to the movies was just to give him insurance that he can keep getting into your pants.

So, forget this guy. Learn from your mistakes here and move on. Next time you’re interested in a relationship with someone, don’t just get with them and assume a relationship will follow, because it usually won’t. And don’t assume that you have to get with them, either. If you aren’t the hooking up kind of girl, don’t become the hooking up kind of girl.  If you want to, though, just don’t expect it to turn into anything.

You have so much more to offer! If he’d bothered to get to know you, he would know that. Make sure the next guy does.

Hearts & Skulls,

Tuffy Luv