K - GW says:
Thu, 18th Jun 20098:37 am 

thanks for posting this! i feel the SAME way! also about doling out a fair share of blowjobs, i did the same thingbecause it made me feel less slutty than having actual sex with everyone i was hooking up with and allowed me to "wear the pants" (both literally, and figuratively)

Casey says:
Thu, 18th Jun 20099:09 am 

I know where you are coming from, I used to rarely if ever let guys go down on me because I felt like it was so gross. I couldn't even imagine what it's like to eat a girl out (and being a girl, luckily, I never have to experience it) The whole idea to me was just gross, so I only let guys I was really really close with go down on me. My current boyfriend I and started hooking up before we dated and the very first time we had sex (which happened to be directly after our firs kiss, go figure.) he went down on me. I was about to stop him, but I felt oddly comfortable (and it felt really good!) Now He goes down on me every time we have sex (and naturally, I do the same for him)

Here's a tip, if you don't like it because he isn't getting any pleasure out of it, or you feel it's a control thing, try 69ing, you both get pleasure that way, and you both are in control.

But then again, if you are worried about him not getting any pleasure, that could be because of a number of reasons. 1. He doesn't enjoy doing it, in which case you probably will never experience an orgasm from oral. If the guy isn't into it then it's really hard for you to be comfortable enough to enjoy it. 2. You THINK he's not enjoying it. Think about when YOU give oral, do you enjoy it? do you get pleasure from making him happy? Personally I get turned on giving oral because I love knowing that I'm giving him pleasure (and, like you, I'm really really good at it and I like to share my talents) but I know my guy feels the same way when he gives me oral so it's extremely pleasurable.

Jenna says:
Thu, 18th Jun 20091:17 pm 

I wasn't able to appreciate getting oral until I explored the area myself with a vibrator and learned how to be comfortable and what I like. I've found that the enjoyment of oral sex is extremely mental for me, too. I I liked it more and more as I became more comfortable, and I feel in control of the situation because I can tell my boyfriend what I like. I also learned that fantasizing is a useful tool.

It's also useful that I know my boyfriend really likes going down on me. The fact that it gets him aroused helps me to enjoy it more. Just because you're not touching his junk doesn't mean he's not enjoying himself sexually.

mcjx3 says:
Thu, 18th Jun 20092:02 pm 

i'm with you all the way girl. i've had it done to me several times by some really great guys but like you said, i would rather feel the other person move with me and experience everything at the same time together

mimsy says:
Thu, 18th Jun 20094:05 pm 

I feel the SAME way. Though unlike you, I've never even tried oral sex because I won't let a guy do it. I think that'll change though, because I'm starting to realize that guys really do get aroused by that. It has to work both ways, though–he won't enjoy it if he feels like you aren't enjoying it, but you won't enjoy it if you feel like he isn't. So…both of you have to be open and honest about it for it to work.

Ace says:
Fri, 19th Jun 20096:24 am 

I am a convert. I used to feel the exact same way you do. It always grossed me out, I was way to conscious of what was going on to enjoy it and frankly, I love sex, real, full blown, sweaty sex. I didn't get the appeal of a little cunnie. I have been shown the way! lol. My current lover(I actually get to say lover since we are not dating and he's french) loves to go down on me. I think he actually gets off more on that then sex sometimes. At first it was weird, but he's so dedicated and so intense and so obviously enjoying it that I started to relax. He's also not afraid to push my boundaries which means I've got to just accept what's happening. And I have to tell you, it's beyond amazing. Mind blowing. I have never felt comfortable letting anyone else down there because I was self conscious or they honestly just weren't very good, but now, I get it. That said, if you aren't comfortable with it, that's fine too. Do what you enjoy, it's your body, enjoy it.

Rozy says:
Fri, 19th Jun 200912:19 pm 

My boyfriend is unnaturally godly at oral (and he says he does enjoy it), but I'm not gonna lie when I say I do highly prefer to "feel my partner’s body in tandem with my own, being able to touch him and feel his heart beating next to mine"…I feel pretty vulnerable. But it feels great–not that it ever gets me off.

But I SUCK at fellatio (no pun intended). I feel like I'll never get better. =/

Ashley says:
Fri, 19th Jun 20094:09 pm 

oh gosh thank you. I used to ALWAYS feel like I was doing the ladies a huge injustice by having one of the few men that adores cunny and I turn it down on a regular basis. :3

shari says:
Fri, 19th Jun 20094:12 pm 

thank you for this article! i feel EXACTLY the same way! plus i feel like it's kind of gross (though i LOVE giving fellatio…double standard, i know). my boyfriend last summer had to convince me hardcore to let him do it. and while i did have orgasms when he did it, i still am not a huge fan and won't let any other guys do it. thanks for showing me i'm not alone because most girls think i'm crazy!

Jess says:
Fri, 19th Jun 20094:30 pm 

Full out with her… my bf loves giving it to me, but its only on a rare occassion that I actually enjoy it. I feel bad telling him no so I just lay there hoping something feels good so I won't have to fake it… it doesnt do much for me… I LOVE BLOWJOBS tho… eh

Lindz says:
Sat, 20th Jun 20091:01 pm 

I agree completely. I thought I was alone in this feeling cuz all my friends tell me I am insane for not letting a guy go down on me. Granted I don't mind going down on my man I even like it, but to have someone have control over me is hard. I haven't learned how to let go and have a guy completely control me. Its like the most intimate feeling to me and I haven't found a guy yet that I feel deserves that control.

Star says:
Sun, 21st Jun 200911:49 pm 

So do guys feel the same way about blow jobs? Do they feel their partner has complete control over them, or is it only girls who get that feeling?

Janelle says:
Mon, 22nd Jun 20098:24 am 

Wow i didn't know there were that many woman out there who didn't like the deed done to them. My first real love was a master at it. We hadn't tried it until later in our relationship which i why i think it wasn't a problem for me to feel comfortable with him doing down on me. I personally got the best orgasms i've ever had from him going down on me. I feel like its a must try for all ladies out there. Im all into equality in the bed room, enough said.

GS says:
Mon, 22nd Jun 20098:08 pm 

I don´t feel very comfortable with it either, I have very little experience and my ex was not really good at it so I felt nothing good.

FF says:
Mon, 22nd Jun 200911:33 pm 

omg, thank you so much for writing this article. all my roomates think im nuts and even converted one who felt the same as me. I thought maybe there must be something wrong with me and like couldn`t understand what my issues with it were. but reading this has given me hope that maybe things will change or they won`t. it could be i haven`t been comfortable enough with someone or control issues. its so true tho i love giving it i don get it maybe it is the having control and getting off it but its interesting how all the girls who hate bein eated out really enjoy giving head.

but again thanks for the article i`m glad to know i`m not alone =)

nambla neil whited o says:
Tue, 23rd Jun 20097:21 pm 

Get over it bitch. You just stink of urine and can't get a real man to get near your fowl nether regions.

"SALMA" says:
Wed, 24th Jun 20095:25 am 

I love giving my guy pleasure,it makes me feel good to know that I can please him.To hear him moan drives me wild.So I guess I'm saying-I'd rather give go down on him than he I.

teal says:
Wed, 24th Jun 20096:12 am 

what a lady! i'm sure your parents would be proud to read this article

sam says:
Wed, 24th Jun 20099:55 am 

I have been in a few relationships where my partner had the same problem, accept it was primarily because they had low self esteem. I do not want to "toot my own horn" because I know that there are many others who have more "skill" than myself, but one thing that has given me a great deal of success is approaching sex with your experimental view. I admit I love to go down on a girl because its very satisfying to her, but a guy has to be willing to try and make things good in order for things to be good!! I want my partner/fling to say good things about me so I want to do all that I can to make her happy, so sometimes if I dont feel the rhythm I am not afraid to simply say "if it feels good tell me and I will do that". I know totally stupid but its better than thumbing around in the dark, and your bound to have her squirming. I'm sorry to the Author that your first true experience was a let-down but if you work with your partner, and remember "practice makes perfect" things will turn around for you!

vicky says:
Thu, 25th Jun 20095:29 am 

Girls, girls, girls… I am completely understanding of everything all of your are saying. However, id like to give you a different view on all of this. When a guy is going down on you, just think.. don't you feel more in control? He is doing this act to please you and your reactions and movements dictate his next move. In this sense he is doing something FOR YOU. You should feel in control and empowered that someone you love (or umm just met?) is wanting to please you that badly. Also, for most guys it IS a turn on, which means during the act you are in control of how turned on he gets, its a mutual feeling just like sex!

Jen says:
Fri, 26th Jun 20097:01 am 

Actually, I really love it. My last lover was sooo good at it. It is really something that I just lie back, relax, and just enjoy his attention focused on me and the waves of pleasure that I feel.

Frank White says:
Fri, 26th Jun 200912:14 pm 

I know exactley what you ladies mean. My friends think I'm crazy when I tell them how I don't want a woman to go down on me because I think it's demeaning and humiliating, and I want to save my precious baby batter. Its much more of a turn on to feel a woman have an orgasam with my fingers inside her then to have a girl put my cock in her mouth, blow jobs just don't do it for me.

That was all a hoax. All guys love blowjobs.

Doit Together says:
Sat, 27th Jun 20095:50 am 

For all you girls who love the feeling of his body on you, and love giving head:

Why not the 69 position? It offers quite the balance of power and closeness, and offers much in the way of dual stimulation.

just some thoughts

MidnightVisions says:
Sun, 28th Jun 20099:22 am 

Wow ladies,

alright I understand the article, and you want to save a little bit of your innocence and still feel like that unbosomed flower thats waiting for true love, well guess what, wake up! what are you stuck in a fairy tale?

Dont tell me you want to get freaky in bed but then there are limits cause of some psychological barriers of saving it for true love. Dont compare having oral sex is like a prostitute kissing on the lips.. what kind of comparison is that??

The truth is,

you dont like oral sex cause a guy you really liked never gave it to you proper. Ill tell you what, pleasing your partner in all possible ways is key in a relationship. Im sorry ladies if you suck at giving blowjobs, you got to get going! Put some heart into it.

Every time I get down on a lady, I go all out and watch them squeeze the pillows while biting their bottom lip. I expect the same experience back. If a girl cant make me bite my lip or twirl my toes, BYE BYE!

Steve says:
Fri, 3rd Jul 20091:29 pm 

I like giving it to my girlfriend so much, but somehow I don't think she likes it. I know that she has a bit of a self-esteem issue eventhough I'm giving my best to change her vision of herself on better. She never gave me blowjob either, she says that she is concirned that I'll think of her as a cheap and hummiliated. I'd like that she gives me a blowjob so much, it would make me the happiest man in the world if she would find a way to enjoy sucking me and swallowing my cum WHILE ENJOYING IT…

some guy says:
Tue, 7th Jul 20097:24 pm 

I have quite a few problems with your thought process:

"Lying there, letting him try to get me off and knowing it’s not that great for him just doesn’t do it"

— As a guy, I get a RAGING erection knowing, feeling (and tasting) a female brought to orgasm from oral. I’ve enthusiastically given myself a few bloody noses from my face being pressed too hard against the pubic bone and had women push my face away telling me they can’t orgasm anymore because I ENJOY IT JUST AS MUCH AS THEY DO. Maybe you should avoid having sex with guys who are (or you think are) selfish who treat cunnilingus as a chore.

"I think its way hotter to feel my partner’s body in tandem with my own, being able to touch him and feel his heart beating next to mine."

— That is a personal opinion, but the fantastic thing about females is there is no refractory period between orgasms as with males. What’s to say a man can’t get a woman off orally and immediately afterward have vaginal sex and bring her to another orgasm?

"(sorry, I am damn good at fellatio)"

— Honey, you are in all likeliness as good as an average to below average gay man at giving oral.

Bubba says:
Sun, 12th Jul 20098:52 pm 

Shit baby, you needs a real muffdiver – get a lesbian to eats that puusy and you cum. Have her strap on a dildoes and your nevers goes backs to mens. Brings yours lube, thongs, anal plug and my girl wills haves you cummming all night long as shes eats your pussy hole and ass hole. MMMMMMmmmmmm

Michael says:
Mon, 20th Jul 20099:29 pm 

Well, |i have an ijury that causes me to have an erection 50% of the time… but I Love going down on a woman, and believe me… I Know where to put that tongue!

Hazel says:
Wed, 29th Jul 20096:34 pm 

Im bisexual and I realise now, with my lady lover, that maybe no man can do it THAT good that it is real sex. I've only had one guy who could make me come through oral, but my girl? She can pretty much choose when she wants me to come. Which is good, because we cannot have normal intercourse per se, its made up for with complete expertise in other areas!

I think the main key to cunningulus though, is being able to relax. Not caring what your partner thinks. I am very biased in this but I almost think every woman should try sex with another woman – or maybe just watch it (and not porn, theyre not for real!) – if you have sex with another woman, you realise a lot more about your own body.

I was shy about certain things with guys – such as the fact I tend to full on spaz out when I'm close to coming I realised my gf was the same. And that we both worried about similar things. And I realise, going down on her, that really, nothing is that bad – sometimes she's delicious, sometimes she isn't so much (but you can always just dribble everywhere and dilute it ) sometimes I end up flossing with pubes, sometimes thats fine. And there is nothing hotter than when she comes – so if you are embarrassed, rest assured that the very things you worry about probably turn your man on.

Sandra McCarthy says:
Wed, 19th Aug 200911:13 pm 

I used to love getting cunnilingus but now I don't because too few guys love it. If I find a guy that REALLY loves it, I'll probably do it again. I'd say MAYBE 15-20% of men out there enjoy it and then the rest of the breakdown gets bleaker and bleaker. It's weird I would have thought with how men are, it would be the reverse. (how horny they are and ravenous!) Oh well, we can always try to turn into lesbians!

Alex says:
Sun, 6th Jun 20107:37 pm 

Sorry to hear of your aversion ladies. I predict you are going to lose many lovers. There are those among we males who look upon oral sex (give or take) as a very special thing. One which shows true caring in one's willingness to please a partner.

We men are not what you'd call sensuous creatures and giving oral sex to a woman is pretty much as close to sensuality as many of us are likely to get. Not allowing a lover to pleasure you this way is selfish, plain and simple. Almost as selfish as not being willing to reciprocate. So lie back, relax and be indulged.

Cunnilingham Priest says:
Sun, 11th Nov 20126:07 am 

I love cunnilingus! i absolutely love it! and i'm a man, i could do it four hours yummy!

pire says:
Thu, 21st Feb 201311:33 am 

I m a guy, most of the girls i was with, they had cunnilingus as a No 1 preference in sex and now it’s a must in my sexual life.if i dont realy like the girl

i dont miss it.if i am into her that much , it’s the first

Thing i want. I would never stay with a girl that doesnt enjoy it.Its like she doesn t have sexuality at all.A huge turn off.

Also, the worst thing is a girl who would only want to perform oral .. i would never want to see her again. I love receiving though, its a mind thing.

I know from other men i am not alone in this. Its a society problem.

I hope i helped.