Mastering The Art of the “Leighton Meester”

So, Leighton Meester has a sex tape. At first I didn’t think it was that big of a deal – I mean, who doesn’t have a sex tape these days? But then I learned a little bit about her home video and was suddenly fascinated.

Apparently, this sex tape involves some pretty naughty acts…with her feet.

Call me naive, but I was never aware getting a guy off with your footsies was even an option! I am not even good at doing it with my hands, so the thought of mastering the art with yet another appendage just seems daunting. And scary. I mean, how does one even learn how to do that?

Not wanting to be left out of a sexual act that is clearly popular (Googling it provided 24 million results…and some interesting images….), I feel like this is something I should try. But I feel like there is a lot of work to be done before my toes get near anyone’s peen.

Pedicure: Feet are not the prettiest of things and I can’t imagine blisters/hang nails will turn anyone on.

Practice: I admit that I am pretty good at picking up change and pens with my feet when I’m too lazy to bend down, but I’m not sure how that would translate to genitalia. (I’d like to think the guys I’m dealing with are a little heftier than a Bic.) I obviously don’t want to hurt my partner, so I think some practice is involved. But how would I go about asking a friend to hold a banana while I massage it with my toes?

Leg Strenghtening: I’d like to think that just the thought of me using my feet would be enough to get a guy off, but the reality is that it might take awhile. And that is a lot of work. I can almost feel my quads burning just thinking about it. I wonder if there are any “Foot Job” focused classes at the gym – all squats, lunges and leg lifts.

Finding a Man: It’s been awhile since I had anyone in my bed, so I’m going to have to find someone to try this on. Shouldn’t be too hard, though; I have a feeling “Can I give you a Leighton Meester?” is the best pickup line around…