Gradvice: There’s Nothing Wrong With A Little Soul Searching

When I got to college I thought I knew with 100% certainty that I wanted to be an English teacher. I spent my first two years fulfilling all of the requirements for the School of Ed and then spent the next two years preparing for my life in a high school classroom.

Only, upon graduation, I realized that I’d rather die than work with those ungrateful little bastards ever again teaching wasn’t for me.

And that’s when the sh*t hit the fan. You see, my parents’ generation was one where you get a job and do it until you retire at 65. It may not be ideal and you may not love it deep down in your core, but it’s a good job and you do it. You don’t take a year off and think about what you want to do; you don’t try out different fields and see which one makes you happy. You get a job, get off the family payroll and become an adult.

So, needless to say, the “I want to move to NY and become a writer!” conversation didn’t go over too well in my house. My father was less than supportive (“Sure, go live on the streets and beg for money!”) and my mom just didn’t understand (“I know the kids are a-holes, but you get the summers off!”). But I was miserable and had to try the writing thing for myself, with or without their support.

It was one of the most difficult decisions of my life. I had always been their “good” kid – always following the rules and making them proud. And now I was going to risk everything and go out on my own to chase after a dream that may never come true?!?

It wasn’t easy and it took a long time to get things right, but that decision was the best I ever made. I now have the best job in the world (seriously!) and once my parents realized that I could really do this, they came around too. The fact of the matter is, some of us aren’t capable of deciding our future at the age of 18, and even if we think we know, college doesn’t always prepare us for what lies ahead in life. It’s not like a trade school where you are training for one specific job or purpose. It takes a little time in the real world to truly understand where you fit and where you belong, and if that takes 5 years and 12 career changes, so be it.

There is nothing wrong with taking a little time to figure things out, even if those around you don’t agree. You aren’t living for them – you are living for you. So if you aren’t ready to settle into a 9-5 job right now, don’t! I’m not saying you should move home and spend your days eating Cheetos and watching True Life marathons, but I am saying that it’s OK to take a year and teach English in Japan. It’s OK to move to New York, wait tables, and try to make it as a stand up comedian.

You never know how things will turn out, but I can tell you that you don’t want to spend your life regretting never trying.  The economy is in the sh*tter, anyway; maybe taking a few years to soul search will be better in the long run.