Sexy Time: There Is A Wrong Time for Sex

"This'll teach my boyfriend to call me naggy!"

People have all kinds of reasons for engaging in casual sex. To our generation, casual sex is a college staple, much like after-caf diarrhea and late-night Adderall binges. To youth of the 60s and 70s, casual sex was an act of rebellion and a representation of a new way of life. To the generations before them, casual sex was the devil’s playground and giving away free milk.

I’m not going to debate the morality of casual sex. Everybody has different reasons for “hooking up” and everyone experiences different consequences. There are some reasons for having casual sex, however, that really are just bad news. I know this because I’ve tried most of them… So I decided to put a list together so you guys don’t have to make the same mistakes I have, or some I haven’t.

10 Bad Reasons For Having Casual Sex:

1.    Because you’ve run out of ideas for your weekly sex column. Who, me? Never…

2.    Because the boy you like doesn’t want a relationship. Many girls fall into a friends-with-benefits arrangement hoping the boy will eventually fall in love with them. He won’t. Move on.

3.    Because you’re not sure how to say no. You’re making out with a frat boy in his room after the party has died down. He starts feeling you up, but that’s OK. Then he moves his hands down to your nether-regions. You feel slightly uncomfortable. He starts taking off your underwear and you know what’s going to happen, and don’t really want it to, but aren’t sure how to stop things. You don’t want to hurt his feelings or be a tease or end up in a really awkward situation. It happens to many girls and there’s a simple answer: STOP! Think of how much more awkward you’ll feel during the sex if you don’t really want to be having it.

4.    Because you need to pay your tuition bill and the man from Craigslist seemed nice enough. Or maybe this is a good reason, I haven’t quite tested it out myself…

5.    Because you’re friends are on your case about your recent dry spell. Yeah, it’s nice to share funny hook-up stories the morning after, but it’s not your job to provide them.

6.    Because you’re desperate to get rid of v-card. These days you can auction your virginity off for millions of dollars, so don’t go giving that shiz away for free! But seriously, there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin. Wait to have sex with someone you feel comfortable with and it will be much more enjoyable.

7.    Because you’re trying to forget about your ex. Casual sex won’t erase those feelings, it’ll just delay them a bit (if anything). The sooner you deal with it, the sooner you can move on. And just think about how awkward it will be when you start crying during the deed. Just wait.

8.   Because you’re mad at your friend and her ex boyfriend is pretty cute. You’ll regret this in the long run, trust me.

9.   Because you’re mad at your boyfriend. “I cheated on you” has never been shown to help resolve an argument.

10.    Because you’re ready to have a baby, goddamn it! It may be cheaper than a sperm bank, but can you live with the guilt?

Have you guys ever had sex for any of these reasons?