There’s a new plague making its way across college campuses from coast to coast. Take one step into your local incorporated coffee shop, vegan restaurant, Urban Outfitters or American Apparel store and you will be afflicted. (Or blinded by all the neon spandex and overwhelming scent of cigarettes.)
I’m talking, of course, about hipsters.
Don’t know what I’m talking about? Don’t worry’ they’ve even got a Wikipedia page.
I don’t truly despise these people. In fact, some are my dear friends. However, the ones that aren’t my friends are becoming an issue – a taking-all-the-tables-at-my-favorite-coffee-shop issue – and here’s my top 10 reasons that they piss me off. Obviously, not all apply. And obviously there are many, many more.
1. OHMYGOD just because I don’t wear weird clothes doesn’t mean I don’t like good music, too.
Hipsters pride themselves on liking the most unique, underground indie music. And if they like something outside that realm? Well, they like it “ironically.” In fact, I’m pretty sure their entire subculture is based on irony. (Editor’s Note: Maybe Alanis Morisette started the hipster movement?!) They automatically assume if someone is in a polo shirt that their music taste only expands as far as Dave Matthews and OAR. WRONG. Not everyone wears their music taste on their American Apparel sleeves. Get. Real. Check my last.fm; I listen to just as much Arcade Fire as you do and my mom was at Pavement concerts when you were in diapers.
2. The corporations you support are just as bad as the ones you hate.
So, you enjoy taking over Urban Outfitters? Well guess what – UO supported Proposition 8, the recently passed proposition that banned same sex marriage. Urban is owned by the most anti-gay bigot ever. Maybe you should think twice before you go heading over there for your next ironic tee and skinny jeans.
3. Life’s tough. Get a helmet.
Adorn the helmet with Bon Iver stickers. Do what you must, just stop bitching and moaning and sucking down Parliament Lights and PBR cans like it’s your job. You’ve got a trust fund, you unitard-wearing complainer.
4. Hypocritical much?
So, you spend your time hating on people for being judgmental a-holes? While you sit there and judge them based on the fact that they’re wearing mainstream clothing and maybe enjoy rap music? I don’t think that frat boy gives a crap about your life, so why do you care how he lives his?
5. Sports are not the anti-christ.
I like basketball. It’s fun to cheer for things (I know. Enthusiasm. Scary.) and maybe you should try watching it. Just because a lot of people love it doesn’t mean it sucks.
6. People eat animals. They taste real good.
Don’t tell me how my burger came to be. Veganism is your choice, not mine. Do I tell you how your lungs are turning black when you smoke? No. Do I not-so-politely inform you that your skinny jeans are permanently damaging your nerves? Nopers. Don’t remind me that my sandwich was once a living thing.
7. It’s okay to like things without being ironic.
I’d love to meet a hipster that can openly admit that they un-ironically enjoy Britney Spears or Fall Out Boy. Even just a couple songs. Come on! It’s catchy! I’m not judging you!
8. Starbucks is tasty. Organic coffee tastes funky.
Enough said. Maybe it’s overpriced, but oh my god, I have never had a decent frappucino at an indie coffee shop. Side note: your indie coffee shop is most likely a franchise, too!
9. PBR is gross.
Enough. Said.
10. Smile.
Sunshine, I don’t care what you’re wearing, but for the love of spandex and Ray-Bans, can you please brighten someone’s day and smile? Scowling is super unbecoming.
Melanie currently interning in NYC, taking full advantage of all margarita specials and those blonde summer boys. Stalk her on Twitter: @tinkermellie
Heather says:
Thu, 25th Jun 20092:24 pm
hipster is the worst trend ever..and yes hipsters..you ARE a trend
J says:
Thu, 25th Jun 20092:27 pm
Awesome!
wendy says:
Thu, 25th Jun 20092:34 pm
LOLllll.
Kelly says:
Thu, 25th Jun 20093:56 pm
The worst incident I had with one is when one tried to order a PBR at my work (I’m a cocktail waitress) and I told him we don’t have it but have Bud, Bud Light, etc for the same price, assuming it was because he was a poor college kid like me. Instead he orders a Red Stripe, which cost almost 4x more. It’s all about the image.
I definitely recommend looking up the “Hipster Olympics” on youtube…it was meant to be beyond stereotypical but it’s actually right on the dot.
Erin says:
Thu, 25th Jun 20094:14 pm
I love http://www.latfh.com/. I really hate them, nothing pisses me off more than badly dressed pissy ironic 20 somethings with mommie and daddies money. Please stop smoking weed at Union Square you low life fucking hipsters i just want to get to the grocery store.
Oli says:
Thu, 25th Jun 20094:57 pm
http://hipsterhunter.com/HIPSTER_HUNTER_HOME.html
:-3′
Amy says:
Thu, 25th Jun 20095:01 pm
love this article/ #6 made me laugh!
karina says:
Thu, 25th Jun 20095:10 pm
I go to VCU, which must be the unofficial capital of hipsters outside of Brooklyn. We are over run with them, and while some can be cool, most are the extremely annoying.
You dont know me so stop being so judgy because I like pink! and get your bike out of the road while im driving!!
KS says:
Thu, 25th Jun 20096:07 pm
Well, you’ve certainly proven that judgment and hate goes both ways. Good job.
Kelly says:
Thu, 25th Jun 20096:17 pm
So, because I support independent coffee shops rather than giant corporations with shady business practices, I’m someone who deserves your hate?
And wake up honey, frappuccinos are basically milkshakes with maybe a bit of coffee in them. People who go to independent coffee shops likely care about coffee and its quality, not a massive, hundreds of calories shake.
I know your post was meant to be humorous, but there was a definite tone of hate in it that offended me. I’m not a hipster, I don’t really understand their culture, but if that’s how they choose to live their life, who the hell are you to judge them? You even said it yourself when you said, “I don’t think that frat boy gives a crap about your life, so why do you care how he lives his?”
callahan says:
Thu, 25th Jun 20096:34 pm
haters sippin’ on haterade!
Kurt says:
Thu, 25th Jun 20097:05 pm
Hipsters hate Urban Outfitters. This article is inaccurate.
Sonia says:
Thu, 25th Jun 200910:55 pm
aw, i actually like pbr.
Candie says:
Thu, 25th Jun 200911:22 pm
I liked this article, it was funny
Lauren says:
Thu, 25th Jun 200911:33 pm
How about this:
You destroyed the indie scene and standardized its music into a new kind of folky pop drivel.
You have not come up with a single element of your identity that hasn’t been stolen from an ACTUAL subculture.
You look just like everyone else – you’re not a trendsetter because no one knows who you are. You’re just a canvas of cliches.
You’re not “alternative” because you are the first group of “I’m different!” types to be SOLD their entire lifestyle by a mainstream media masquerading as somehow subversive or grassroots.
You spend tons of money on anything that will make you look poor, while driving out the actual working class you look down on – even as you fetishize their “lifestyle”.
Way to be a walking commercial, you souless little brat.
Nicolle says:
Thu, 25th Jun 200911:49 pm
I think it’s funny when people think that veganism/vegetarianism is about people. It’s not about me, it’s about the animal that is killed just because you think ‘it tastes good’ (terrible fucking justification, btw). If animals could speak for themselves, I wouldn’t.
Going back to the music comment.. I was reading a Fall Out Boy article from back in the day and the bassist was commenting on how he sees the same guys who made fun of him and beat on him in high school at fall out boy shows… and he wonders how they could possibly relate to their songs.
Brooke says:
Fri, 26th Jun 20091:34 am
omg kelly i love the hipster olympics! we watched that in one of my classes last fall while studying american culture
KS says:
Fri, 26th Jun 20097:35 am
http://towardfreedom.com/home/content/view/1404/1/
Ace says:
Fri, 26th Jun 200911:05 am
Whoa, that was some serious hating that just happened. OK, I’m not a hipster, I’m just a person. But I suppose many of my friends would fall into that category and in some instances myself as well. I like PBR, and yes, I’m actually broke ass poor. I like thrift shopping, again, I’m poor. I live in Brooklyn, I work at an indie music label and for an indie management company. I do like Urban Outfitters but don’t shop there, cause I’m poor. But that’s really a misunderstanding, UO isn’t popular with hipsters because it is mainstream and poorly political. I’m not a vegetarian but who gives an eff who is or isn’t? Does it really offend you that much? Myself and many of my friends like sports, I love baseball games and one of my most “hipster” friends is a sports writer. And the starbucks thing is because starbucks is way over priced, did I mention I’m poor? Drink your starbucks all you want, just toss a girl the change when you leave? And by the way, we smile, it’s just hard to grin at all your hating.
Keightee says:
Fri, 26th Jun 200911:40 am
Who cares? Let people be who they want to be. If people want to be part of the hipster trend or whatever, great. You’ve chosen to be a snarky, hateful-sounding blogger aiming to be funny – but really, it’s just off-putting…probably as off-putting as you find ‘hipsters’ to be. Sure, it’s largely an image thing, but what isn’t these days?
Live and let live.
Rio says:
Fri, 26th Jun 20094:52 pm
May I just add:
11. NOT EVERYONE APPRECIATES THE ARTS AND YOU NEED TO FUCKING ACCEPT IT.
I don’t care that you like to cover mailboxes with yarn, or dip your ass in paint and smear it on cardboard, or whatever abstract drivel you create while the rest of us are working our asses off in real jobs. Why should our tax dollars go toward your “interpretation” of homelessness instead of actually getting the homeless off the streets? And, more importantly, why did the managing editor of our university paper think it was such a good idea to cut the sports section so you’d have more room to blather about it?
http://thefutureamerican.wordpress.com
Bridgette says:
Fri, 26th Jun 20095:12 pm
Didn’t know Urban Outfitters supported Prop 8, I’m a little pissed to find out that information, I worked for them for a year ans 1/2 and I love the place and everything about it. But ish like that makes me mad. Yeah the hipster trend is an interesting one, it’s modern day grunge for the most part.
bobbygee says:
Fri, 26th Jun 20096:52 pm
Don’t tell me what to eat or how to live. Read the Bible. Read the constitution. Check out my blog. Bobby Gee it’s sports with a twist.
http://bobbygee.wordpress.com/
bob says:
Fri, 26th Jun 20099:40 pm
Gee!
Imagine the gall of someone such as Urban Outfitters standing up for what they believe in. I say we torch their stores and show them that they are only supposed to support that which is different. Down with those that uphold conservative values and other stuff like that.
lupe says:
Sat, 27th Jun 200911:03 am
eh, this could have been funny if the authoress hadn’t been drinking too much hateorade. i hate the hipster fad as much as the next person but this article did not make me want to side with you. way too bitter.
Melanie - Northeastern University says:
Sat, 27th Jun 20093:14 pm
I prefer hater tots.
Allison says:
Sun, 28th Jun 200912:13 am
After reading all of the comments here, I laughed harder than I did while reading the article.
Everyone, take a chill pill. Freedom of speech? I enjoy reading the comments though.
One thing to be pointed out, its more of a hate upon the hipster scene and those who try, and fail, to actually fall within it. There are the true hipsters who are environmentally conscious and care about what they put in their bodies. Then there are people who do shock value and try to be hipster. The hipster scene is not unique since it is a basic mesh of being a bit punk, a bit grunge, and a bit indie; it does though have some good fashion trends ( I love plaid) and the music tends to have a refreshing feel after hearing one too many repetitive cowbells in a snow.
Allison says:
Sun, 28th Jun 200912:14 am
*in a song
Haha!
Jess says:
Sun, 28th Jun 200910:57 am
Thank God someone has finally put my thoughts into words. When you live in a city that is 70% hipster inhabited (Asheville, NC…. you know what I’m talking about) they are impossible to avoid. In fact my group of friends are almost entirely “hipsters”. And it is incredibly annoying. While I do enjoy hanging out with them, they are assholes. They drink more PBR in three hours than I could stomach in a year. They complain about the establishment when at least three of them are on unemployment.
ALSO I get really sick of walking into my favorite cafe only to be stared at derisively while ordering a cup of coffee. “That girl looks like she’s taken a shower in the past 24 hours, and she’s wearing a cardigan….. from HOLLISTER!!!!” I’ve been going to that place since I was 12 years old, you have taken over in the last twenty four months.
Bubba says:
Sun, 28th Jun 20094:09 pm
Dey sounds like a bunches of damm hippies, fags and communists..
Bubba says:
Sun, 28th Jun 20094:09 pm
Ship der ass off to ‘nam..
BP says:
Tue, 30th Jun 200912:31 am
hipster olympics=awesome
it’s sad that in 2 years nobody has been able to say anything about the hipster subculture that isn’t insanely lame, which goes double for this post
i know way more about blitz packages or single A teams and could probably own the author in any physical activity and still think sports FANS are the devil incarnate, starbucks? really?, PBR is fine, non-bud heavy is only for the idiots they advertise to. I don’t see anyone besting hipster olympics ever, but keep hating by all means, it’s becoming on you
http://tinyurl.com/n48v4g
BP says:
Tue, 30th Jun 200912:40 am
OK, I hate your article, but kudos to you for putting your name and school and the UO prop 8 thing is way more than Slate bases a piece on, plus I did not notice that you were a girl when I commented, so strike the chest beating physical part above. By the time you are 25 I’m sure your insights will be incredible.
so hard to not end with a preposition….
Brian says:
Tue, 30th Jun 200910:12 am
Alanis Morisette didn’t understand the meaning of irony. Which in itself is ironic. As is a trend based on a cooler than thou ethos.
Fuckey Youse says:
Tue, 30th Jun 20091:26 pm
Hating “hipsters” is just as absurd and distasteful as being one, don’t you see? Actively taking time out of your days to mull over what you hate about people (the way they dress, the music they like, the fucking beer they drink) is tantamount to what you all accuse “hipsters” of doing. Not to mention all the prima facie judgments inherent in labeling someone a hipster. Talk about irony. The anti-hipster is just as much of a trend as the hipster, and the two are pretty interdependent for continued relevance.
And, for the record, PBR tastes better than Bud Fucking Light. I’m not saying it’s good, but it tastes like something. Sometimes being cost conscious and liking good beer necessarily come to odds. Furthermore, cyclists have every right to be “in the road” while “you’re driving.” That’s just how it goes. Fucking deal with it.
K says:
Tue, 30th Jun 20092:06 pm
I think that you should focus all this list-y energy towards people who just don’t smile/act bitchy in general. I feel like the sad geek I was when I started exploring subcultures in middle school when I read this, because it alienates me based on the food I eat, the clothes I wear, the coffee I drink, and the music I listen to. That’s mean. Not to be all that-one-crazy-girl-in-Mean-Girls, but can’t we all just be friends? I’m vegan, I listen to weird music, I dress silly. But I smile all the effing time, and I do all those things not to be ironic, and not to be exclusive, but because I genuinely enjoy them.
Hipsters ARE annoying, but it’s not the things you listed that make them so. In every case, it’s a person’s attitude about something…
But hey, compromise: Starbucks DOES make a mean soy latte.
RI Guy says:
Tue, 30th Jun 20092:46 pm
If you look for the ridiculous in everything, you’ll find it… Ill make an example using your model.
1. Take a group of people:
-African Americans
2. Recall things that I’ve seen or heard from friends/ internet/ news that I did not like or found funny about this group:
-they drink grape crush
-they eat watermelons
-they don’t smile
3. Create a witty anecdote to help people relate this stereotype Ive created:
-Smile.
Sunshine, I don’t care what you’re wearing, but for the love of (watermelons) and (grape soda), can you please brighten someone’s day and smile? Scowling is super unbecoming.
Douche-bags, Hipsters, Geeks, Jocks, Metal-heads, Whitetrash… I know this article was done in good humor and maybe to vent a bit, but it validates stereotyping people. It’s easy to get a laugh ridiculing people behind a fake name it’s much harder to find common ground and pick everyone up with out putting someone down.
Im not saying “love everybody” I’m just asking you to hate one person at a time
nofateandrazor says:
Tue, 30th Jun 20092:47 pm
I’m with ya on most of these. But Starbucks tastes awful… do they put pennies in the coffee filter?
I’d much rather go to a 7-11…
Lisa Simpson says:
Tue, 30th Jun 20092:52 pm
Hipsters are so nonconforming in a conforming sort of way.
teal says:
Tue, 30th Jun 20094:32 pm
LOOKATTHISFUCKINGHIPSTER.TUMBLR.COM YA’LL
cj says:
Tue, 30th Jun 200911:20 pm
FYI, the Prop 8/Urban Outfitters thing doesn’t have any legitimate proof. I did research about it a couple of months ago, and it seems like the whole thing is rooted in a Wikipedia article (with no sources, which has since been removed for that very reason) and the fact that a shirt reading “I support gay marriage” was pulled because it wasn’t selling, something the store does regularly.
I know Richard Hayne (the UO founder/owner) and his family, and while they are traditional Republicans (Hayne donated lots of money to Rick Santorum, who is a bit of a nutcase), Hayne is not far-right leaning, nevermind the “most anti-gay bigot ever.” (Obviously, that title is already taken by Fred Phelps of Westboro Baptist Church, anyway!) While it is true that the Hayne family is a family of Republicans, and very wealthy ones at that, they are not the giant assholes you are making them out to be.
Molly says:
Wed, 1st Jul 200912:48 am
Ann Arbor LOVES to accommodate the hipsters…
DEB says:
Wed, 1st Jul 200912:52 am
Took the words out of my mouth.
12. Can’t you humble yourself for a minute? Adoration =/= your material items.
You know that wonderful 1960s find you BRAG incessantly about on your blog/when someone meets you in person ’cause there’s nothing cool or genuinely interesting about yourself to begin with? Might be my poor grandmother’s. During civil rights my grandmother had things (dishes/dresses/jewelry) forcibly taken from her and my mother. I can’t have adoration for someone who prides themselves in happening upon dead persons’ personal items. Just humbly appreciate those things please.
13. Some of your clothes are weird. Maybe you should dress like an (professional) adult for a day. Do you work?
14.You’re intellectual and cultured, how? When you buy your “cool” from a thrift shop? Get tagged on flicker? From coffee house? When you snap a pic on your Iphone? UO or AA? Buy a mp3 tagged “indie”? With your parents money? Interesting…
15.I DO stuff to make it better.
I do community service voluntarily; I do not complain about an issue and make myself feel superior for it, drink PBR, and then go to a underground party. Kinda selfish.
Anonymous says:
Wed, 1st Jul 20092:24 am
you people are retarded.hipsters rock.stop hating.
Melanie - Northeastern University says:
Wed, 1st Jul 20095:25 pm
RI Guy, I’m not hiding behind any fake name. My birth name is Melanie and I attend Northeastern University.
My byline is 100% real.
Casey says:
Thu, 2nd Jul 200911:52 pm
Ugh I totally agree! I worked at Urban Outfitters for a year and it was the worst job I have ever had! The people that worked there were so rude! Even to each other! All but three of them fit your points to a T! They all put me down because I also worked for Abercrombie and Fitch (where the people are all EXTREMELY nice and considerate to EVERYONE! despite what everyone thinks about Abercrombie employees) My UO co-workers put down my other job, my friends, and me, simply for working for Abercrombie. Had any of them ever talked to another abercrombie employee? NO! They put down the clothes that I wore, the music I listened to, and the way I wear my hair. My managers there did the same thing. The customers were just as bad, and probably mainly for the fact that UO (at least the one I worked at) gave HORRIBLE customer service.
I know stereotyping is horrible, and I’m sure not ALL hipsters are horrible, rude, and arrogant people, however, the ones I have come in contact with all fit this article to a T.
But I digress, Max Bemis says it best in the Say Anything song “Admit It”.
random says:
Fri, 3rd Jul 20099:02 pm
Whether you are wearing your ralph lauren polo with your tiffany necklace, coach purse, and keds, or your skinny girl jeans with your straw hat fedora and dads old concert tee with your black converse it’s all to fit a stereotype. lets face it, we all fit into one category or another so quit hating. its lame.
Megan says:
Sun, 5th Jul 200912:41 am
I think half of these comments are irrelevent. The title is The Top 10 Reasons I Am HATING Hipsters. The hater comments just mean you can’t read. Congrats.
=]
Alexa says:
Sun, 5th Jul 20092:18 pm
I love this! I live in Baltimore, where there are hipsters practically crawling out every concert venue and indie record store. I completely understand your annoyance. This article was amazing, it said everything I could ever want to say – ironically, of course.
K8 says:
Mon, 6th Jul 200911:16 am
This definitely made me chuckle. I used to work in a bar that was constantly crawling with this genre of students. A lot of them, especially from a particular private and prestigious college, were the most like what you described. I think everyone should just be able to be themselves and not necessarily be criticized, but I’m not gonna lie, this post your wrote made me laugh because it is a lot of truth. Keep writing
pwall1 says:
Mon, 6th Jul 20092:32 pm
Oh my lord this is accurate. Great stuff.
Leigh says:
Tue, 7th Jul 20092:50 pm
As much as certain trends can be annoying when my life becomes inundated with them (
Leigh says:
Tue, 7th Jul 20092:56 pm
(sorry, hit submit too soon)
…(Ugg boots, leggings as pants, too much eyeliner), I think it is a bit harsh to group people who enjoy certain trends into larger categories based solely on these trends. I wear skinny jeans, hats, and oversized cocktail rings, but I also love almost all mainstream music. I shop at thrift stores because it’s very inexpensive, but I love Starbucks and usually spend $6 on a venti because it tastes good. I support gay marriage but eat meat, and love it! Moral of my story is, someone who may look like a hipster…or a prep…or a goth…on the outside, may just deserve a closer look before judgement can be passed. Try to get to know people for who they really are before you herd them into categories.
danyell says:
Wed, 8th Jul 20091:30 am
people suck in general when it all comes down to it. we’re all SOMETHING. some sort of “trend” and we ALL have atleast one thing in common. so all of you get over yourselves. you are a person living in a culture full of sub-cultures full of people and music and clothing and etc. get over it. if someone wants to be stupid and live a certain way, so be it, its their mistake.
elysianisis says:
Wed, 8th Jul 20092:56 am
Is the hipster movement an East Coast plague? Cos im from soCal and we’re all still stuck on adopting little dogs and trying to be Paris Hilton =p
At least we’re like, totally Hot
Hipster’s are not
glenda says:
Wed, 8th Jul 20098:24 pm
I totally agree ,these mother f*ckers always pointing the finger at every body else,but obviously have not taken the time to look at themselves. Hey f*ckers live your life the way you want too. Nobody cares how you live your life, but leave the rest of the world alone.
M says:
Thu, 9th Jul 20094:10 pm
PBR is not Gross, set one up next to a Stella Artois and I guarantee you cant tell the diff. But I know you think Stella is good because its an import and PBR sucks cause you grandpa drank it.
Melanie - Northeastern University says:
Thu, 9th Jul 20097:45 pm
M,
My grandpa’s a vodka man. Stella’s pretty gross too.
Rose says:
Thu, 9th Jul 200911:39 pm
I agree with most of these. However, I don’t think PBR is gross. It tastes better than Natural Ice or Busch or Steel Reserve.
Megan says:
Sun, 12th Jul 20098:58 pm
Don’t assume all vegans are hipsters and vice versa. That is such a stereotype. And I don’t preach about vegetarianism every five seconds, but if it bothers you that your sandwich was once a living thing, than why do you continue to eat meat?
Ace says:
Mon, 13th Jul 20095:43 pm
As a fellow Northeasterner all this hating makes me sad. But then, I can’t stand white hats and bitchy girls, so I guess I won’t see you in Connor Larkins.
Britt says:
Mon, 13th Jul 200910:47 pm
Hilarious article.
Stereotyping is lame, but we all do it and that’s life, and don’t lie, we all enjoy making fun of people at some point (even though I’m the first to admit that jokes made in good humor can be hurtful)
Keep writing, this shit’s gold
Melanie - Northeastern University says:
Mon, 13th Jul 200911:30 pm
Ace, write an article about it!
Too bad about Connor’s, maybe we should grab a drink at Espresso Royale. I dig their spanish lattes and they give me lots of inspiration to write.
Rachel- University of Texas says:
Sat, 18th Jul 20093:34 am
7-11 coffee is amazing… Seriously. I drank Starbucks 8 years ago cause I thought it was cool, I admit it.
I go to school with Professors who are hipsters, we even have a hipster music festival (SXSW) that used to be cool & “scene free” 3 years ago…
But they do make cool handmade jewlery, and give good eyeliner tips.
There are things that annoy me about pretty much every “group” you can think of- even my own. Focusing on negativity only slows you down, and helps me jump in front of you :p
University of Texas says:
Sun, 19th Jul 20092:15 am
Why all the hate comment people? It’s not stereotypes, it’s probability :p
Seriously, everything stated here has been almost exactly true for every hipster I have ever met.
pants says:
Sun, 19th Jul 200912:51 pm
Organic coffee tastes funky? I’m sorry but if you are basing your coffee experience on … frappuccino’s… then you shouldn’t really have a say on coffee period. I think starbucks tends to taste kinda burnt.
Unlike some of the others here… I’m all for hate. But… it needs to be a little funnier to make it worthwhile. Keep trying.
Dre says:
Sun, 19th Jul 20094:15 pm
PBR taste delicious. Everything else in the article is fine.
The Hipsters says:
Sun, 19th Jul 20096:36 pm
Way to comprehend, people. Predictably among haters, you don’t even know what it is you really hate.
I like the woman who “just wants to go to the supermarket.” That’s actually kind of sad, because we should all want to do a little more with our lives than just that. Though I in no way devalue the importance of a good grocery store, because you need fresh produce. Hipsters eat apples. Hipsters enjoy crisp, sweet apples.
And how are they stopping you? Are you paralyzed with fear and unable to leave your house because of the terrifying hipsters?
1) Arcade Fire haven’t released an album for more than two years, so maybe Funeral gets a play every few months because it’s an amazing album. No doubt your momma saw Pavement because that band broke up a long time back.
So, wow, to start, you claim equal footing in knowledge on underground, new music with a group of people whose passion is underground, new music. . . by listing a defunct classic band and a Grammy-nominated chart topping classic group that haven’t released an album since Feb 07. Cool. I guess that’s like when I pretend I know as much about his passion as a film snob because I’ve seen Being John Malkovich and my mom has heard of Fellini.
2) HIPSTERS LOVE RAP. Hyphy, grime, pretty much anything from Rap-A-Lot is just stellar. And soul, and R’n'B, and jazz. The term hipster actually began when white kids started listening to jazz 20 years after that scene started. A few years before Alanis.
3) I liked “Toxic” because the beat was sick, not because I’ve secretly enjoyed everything Britney Spears has released (lolno) or don’t understand what irony is (because, seriously, look it up, irony is all about someone not being in on a joke. Someone being the butt of a joke without knowing it. You may have been that person if you didn’t know that.)
4) Hipsters love sports. Hipsters love stats. Fantasy baseball participants and hipsters have a big overlap in their Venn. Yo La Tengo comes from a baseball anecdote! There was even an indie album released last year all about moments in baseball history.
But I guess cheering for things that you feel represent you makes you more a sports fan. Or an egotist, whatevs.
5) PBR is a decent cheap beer but microbrew is true alt.
6) There was this guy who lived by my apartment, and I’d see him when I walked to the store at night. He’d have his headphones in and the happiest look on his face. He’d walk around the block like that all the time, just beaming wide at whoever. You know why? He smoked crack! He’d smoke crack, pop in some tunes, be all ecstatic and high, popping into alleys to smoke more crack. I know this because once I asked him to buy me beer because I thought with a smile like that he’d be sure to help me out and then he showed me his crack pipe and told me about the heart attack he might have had yesterday. He was actually a standup dude for a crackhead.
Point is, I smile when there’s a reason. And there are plenty of reasons. But I don’t walk around looking like I’m really fucking high all the time. Because, when I am, my combination nicotine-caffeine-THC buzz is very pleasant and productive and manageable, thank you. I don’t need to “grin like an idiot,” as they say.
There you go, pastiche of your blogroll clumsily thrown together to make ugly and derivative site, fostering insecurity and forwarding no real ideas, a free counterpoint article, and better than anything you’ve yet published! Bye-bye.
Melanie - Northeastern University says:
Mon, 20th Jul 200912:12 pm
The Hipsters,
I like your attitude. Let’s date.
- M
Sarah says:
Mon, 20th Jul 20092:40 pm
I didn’t have time to read through all these comments, but I had no idea an article like this would spark so much controversy!
That being said, I know this was supposed to be funny, but it just wasn’t. It didn’t say anything more than any other article about hipsterism has said. It wasn’t clever. It didn’t appeal to the majority of readers. It wasn’t well-informed or intelligent (except for that factoid about UO and prop 8…really?!).
Hatin’ on hipsters is a waste of time. They’re a subculture that refuses to identify with itself so even though some people commented that they agreed with the article, they are most likely hipsters themselves. /laugh
Can we move on from the high school sentiment of categorizing, labeling, and judging people now; please?
oneoverphi says:
Tue, 21st Jul 20092:20 pm
The music snobbery really gets my goat. And where would I be without my goat? Alone on a Friday, that’s where! I wrote a breakdown on 5 methods of the music snob which may be of interest to those who wish to combat music snobbery that is apparent in the hipster.
“Unfortunately they don’t realise that you can enjoy the esoteric and the popular without sacrificing your place as an edge-case.”
More here:
http://euphonicremarks.wordpress.com/2008/07/11/5-methods-of-the-music-snob/
alaina says:
Wed, 22nd Jul 20095:34 pm
Gosh. It must be terrible having so many negative feelings toward people who probably don’t even notice you.
Cori says:
Sun, 26th Jul 20094:35 am
Fun read, but I’m going to have to severely disagree with your attempted joke at the expensive of Veganism–eating meat intentionally harms animals. Smoking and skinny jeans primarily and unintentionally harm the perpetrator. It’s all about intention here, and hipsters arguably have a nobler one than thou.
http://www.heavytext.com says:
Tue, 18th Aug 20096:08 pm
PBR is the closest thing we have to sweet Ambrosia! You take back those filthy words!
I suppose you haven’t tried it with lime then, huh?
Either way it won a ribbon. Enough said.
vicmorrow says:
Thu, 27th Aug 20093:43 am
I don’t know what a hipster is.. i like a lot of things you are ragging on here.. I don’t wear skinny pants.
Either way I’m going on too much. I meant to just say I don’t know what a hipster is, but that guy up there does have a very punchable face.
Nicole says:
Sat, 5th Sep 20099:58 pm
For the record, not all vegans are hipsters.
But yeah, I agree with this. I have the most annoying hipsters at my high school, and yeah, I’m best friends with some, but the others are like, “Oh, you like Britney Spears and Gwen Stefani?” in a very condescending way. And then say that they have 500+ friends on Myspace/Facebook, which is pretty hilarious. Or maybe that’s the ‘ironic’ thing they want to have.
Either way, it’s a cry for attention.
nick says:
Thu, 10th Sep 200912:48 pm
This is article is a poor attempt at humor.
In fact the only thing funny about this article is that you think you are on the cutting edge because you because you listen to Arcade Fire…haha!
PBR is good.
Frappacinnos only exist so idiots like yourself will pay $5 a drink. It is a dessert not a coffee. There is nothing wrong with organic coffee. You know nothing about coffee and anyone who does can clearly tell you are a fool.
ihatefedoras.blogspot.com says:
Tue, 15th Sep 20097:19 pm
Reason # 11: Fedoras
Franky Starks says:
Sat, 3rd Oct 20094:21 am
Hipsters are fake. They’re a bunch of upper middle class kids playing poor. They think culture is a commodty that they can appropriate for vanity’s sake, and I never met one that wasn’t a complete psudeo-intellectual nob. I find it funny that not one of them owns up to the label “hipster”. Never was there a youth movement in which its practioners went to such lengths to deny membership. It’s sad that the preceding generations had to sweat and sacrifce so that these kids can play bohemian. A real bohemain doesn’t want to be part of a dominant tribe, but actively shuns it. Being a hipster is just a bourgeois way of being anti-bourgeois, a way to renounce mass society without actually having to suffer the painful consequences of isolation It’s the most vacuous, superficial subculture the modern world has ever produced.
Andrea says:
Sun, 25th Oct 200910:47 pm
Kudos to the comment above me!
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