Love|Updated:

The Booty Call I Won’t Call

booty call

A few months ago, while visiting the parentals for break, I hooked up with a friend of a friend. And it was awesome. He was hot, he was funny, and he had a visible six-pack. Yes, that was the first visible six-pack I’d ever boom boomed with, so it was pretty magical. In fact, that night is on my list of top 5 life experiences between my bat mitzvah and that time I found a Calvin Klein dress on sale for $9.99.

I have thought about that boy a lot since we awkwardly parted ways in the morning (“Maybe I’ll see you around next time you’re home.”), but have yet to contact him. It’s not like I want a relationship with the kid (it’s hard to build something real on a nice set of abs), but I would like to make this a continuous encounter on any and all trips back home.

But every time I’ve attempted to reach out – usually via Facebook – I freak out. I don’t want him to think I’m making this more than it is, or that I sit at home at night looking at his pictures and hoping he puts some summery/shirtless ones soon. (I do.) I don’t want him thinking I’m some crazy stalker girl who can’t just hook up with someone and let that be the end. I feel weird trying to start a conversation when the only history we have is a night at the bar followed by late night sliders and a roll in the sack. (Warning: Late night greasy sliders are NOT a good idea if you even THINK you will be getting some….)

And then there’s the whole dignity issue. I’m going home in a few days and I would love to tell him I’m coming so we can go for round two, but what if he doesn’t want round two? And is it weird for me to tell someone I’ve spoken to once that I’m gonna be home and we should go out? It would be so much easier if we could just be in the same place and let it just happen.

I know it’s weird that I can’t muster up the courage to talk to someone who has watched me crawl around on the floor naked looking for my underwear, but I can’t. And that’s weird. I mean, we had sex. A lot of sex. I should be able to talk to him.

Ugh. Why are booty calls (or booty-I’m-too-scared-to-calls) so complicated?

    Comments

    Comments

    1. Liam says:

      Just tell him, "Hey, I'm coming home this weekend. Wanna chill?" If he says yea, great. If he says no, so what.

    2. Sam says:

      Just send him a note or something saying hi and ask him what he's been up to, then casually mention you're coming home.. see what happens. What do you have to lose?

    3. Joe the Drunk says:

      you're a slut. can I have a piece?

    4. C says:

      I am in the exact same position as you are right now, but with two guys… The situation is a little reversed, as I'm going visiting their city for one weekend (great coincidence they both live there..) but I have no idea how to go about TELLING them I'm coming without being too obvious/desperate looking…

    5. Star says:

      Ah yes, "You're a slut" are the words that form a key to a girl's heart…*head desk*

    6. HCR says:

      The only reason you'd be disappointed if he says no is because you have developed some kind of feelings for him? You're on his facebook page looking at his pictures? You HAVE developed something for him no matter how much you deny it.

      … and for that reason you should stay away from him for your own sanity !!

    7. MidnightVisions says:

      This is a very common situation for most poeple,

      I feel like the guy in the article,

      If you really want to chill with the guy,

      make him curious about you,

      go to victoria secrets

      and get yourself a really freakin sexy lingerie

      and send him a pic

      I know what your thinking

      I dont want this to only be a sexual relationship,

      but if its round two you want,

      make him want it more then you want it

      you got to show the guy reasons why he should see you again

      let him know that freaky side of you

      every guy loves a freak that could take control

      get nasty with him , a little dominatrix

      your the one with the whip

      and if he dont like it, ehh

      im always around with a hard six pack too😉

    8. ellear says:

      Here's my two cents: be honest and be upfront. If I am understanding you correctly it sounds like you want to keep this fling going for as long as you can. Understandable of course. Next time you go home, call him, ask him to meet you for drinks and take it from there. I wouldn't bother with the facebook messages, or texting "hey whats up, tell me about your day!". Flings are just for one purpose. If you want more, then you have a totally different situation on your hands…

    9. criolle johnny says:

      Flip it around … how would YOU feel if HE was visiting and used YOU as a warm place to masturbate.

      Did HE write, email, or call? You have him ranked in terms of importance somewhere between a "dress on sale" and a "nice set of abs".

      How would you feel if he thought of you as a "nice set of tits"?

      Perhaps that's why you're freaking.

      You know better … dammit.

    10. TEI says:

      Geez , do girls even care about being virgins anymore? Making babies with random people seems reckless. Why not wait until you have a great mate?

    11. sexiibradley09 says:

      I think the people who called you a slut and are talking about virignity and what not can go stuff themselves. This is the year 2009 and they can drop the double standards, ridiculous expectations, and childish judgements.

      Just follow your heart!

    12. Becca- Clarion Unive says:

      oh hey TEI, When have guys ever cared about being virgins??? why does it have to be the girl who is a virgin? When it becomes standard for guys to be pure and virginal, then maybe, I'll stop enjoying my booty.

    13. kelsieleigh says:

      I think that you'll never know if you don't try. Ask him, if he says yea, thats great. But if he says no, whats the worst that could happen? I mean, you've gone all this time without seeing him how bad could be if you never do. That came out wrong…well good luck!

    14. Alex says:

      i swear you should read "He's Just Not That Into You"… even when it comes to just hooking up… if wants to hook up again, he'll make it happen. Maybe shoot him a text or facebook message once, if he doesn't bite, throw that fishy back out there because there are plenty of others in the sea.:-)

    15. D says:

      You should tell him your coming home and would like to hookup as a guy i know i would love to hear this. Tell him you loved the sex and you will be even more likely to get a second time because he knows you liked it.

    16. kat says:

      Dude. "He's Just Not That Into You" is a crock.

      There also is the possibility that some guys are huge babies, and probably thinking something similar to what you're thinking. He might be afraid to make the first move too. Saying something is better than saying nothing…you really have nothing to lose. If he doesn't reply or whatever there are a gajillion hot guys in the world (and yes, some with six packs) that you will move on to.

    17. drewaustin says:

      There is an art behind the date and ditch… check out The Campus Diva's story at The Campus Socialite

      http://www.precioustimeny.com/blog/?p=1656

    18. lawyermommy says:

      Just call him already. Why would you care what he thinks of you? You have done the boom boom and crawled around the floor looking for your underwear. In this instance you are putting the cart before the horse. You cannot care what he thinks, right?:)

      It is too late now to be all dignified. I am not saying it is right or great but it is what it is. Just do what you want to do thats all. You have already eliminated all possibility of regret or a different type of relationship.

      If he thinks poorly of you, OH WELL. He was not exactly running away and crying when the boom dam came down.

      Cheers…

      LM

      PS: Six packs are fairly easy to get. Cut out the fats and do sit ups and crunches. Try making sure you do at least 500 daily. In one to two months, you will have one, if you want one.:)

    19. charmaine says:

      Noa – CU,,, haha, I thought I was the only gal who does this.. oh well.. just have fun~~ since i'm having fun with him~~

    20. charmaine says:

      i meant.. we dont booty call each other.. we plan things before anything happens between us~~~

    21. bread says:

      wow .. for those who call her a slut .. when u go out and have one nightstands .. who are u having them with? You should thank God for a woman like this because u would go home alone just to jack ur own sh!t..that or hit up ur boys.. this is a problem we females have .. we try to make more out of what happen .. you had a good time and u want more of it..if he was fat ugly and couldnt get it up and the one time he did it last 3 mins u wouldnt be stressing about this. I say if you want to meet up with him again then be blunt about it. We waste to much time thinking about what we going to do or not do.. got a sayn i want to leave u wit… life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "holy shit…what a ride"…..enjoy ur ride…

    22. steve says:

      You're right to be afraid!

      You shouldn't call him!

      You should call ME!

      We'll have a wonderful night and you'll probably never think about me again!

      steve

    23. Human says:

      it seems that you take pride in being a whore. Wonder if you are the city's sub, everyone has taken you for a ride. Get AIDs, oh wait you already have it. Disgusting slut

    24. paddy says:

      Wow, I can't believe all the angry, sexiest epithets being thrown around by some guys on this sight. Just so the ladies know, not all men are so insecure that they can't handle the thought of sexually liberated woman. Really, if you want to live by medieval standards of sexuality you can always move to Iran or Afghanistan. As for me, I'll stay in the good ol' US of A and work on my six pack (almost there!).

    25. 2tell says:

      Well Dear , you live one life 1 time enjoy -it but you should be honest with this person ,,,would you like to change place,s with this person not no – ing ? live life to it fullest, enjoy,it be happy how you are . live on the eage if that you , bye bye lolly-pop !!!! take care

    26. Karlos says:

      yeah… you're a slut. period.

      Furthermore, I warn you in advance of my hysterical laughter when you're carrying his child (without him) and scratching your genital warts.

      Good day!

    27. elle says:

      if you feel this way about this guy a sexual relationship is just going to leave you upset. take it from someone who knows, think of the time you had as a great and fun experience and dont pursue it further…if he wanted it he would have asked for your number

    28. B says:

      haha Calling yourself a "sexually liberated woman" is just calling yourself a "SLUT" with sugar coating.

      Wake up… once a whore always a whore.

    29. Allison says:

      Wow.

      First of all, to everyone calling the author a slut, you are wrong. As defined by urbandictionary.com, a slut is some one who 1) has the morals of a man; 2)Refers to a sexually promiscuous person, usually female, or 3) One who engages in sexual activity with a large number of persons, occasionally simultaneously.

      In this case, she is talking about ONE one-nightstand she would like to further into a bootycall type of friendship. Seriously, she isn't talking about a GROUP of guys she's slept with, just one guy who has a six-pack and was very good.

      If she had the morals of a man, she would have already called the guy up for round 2, but she hasn't because, SHOCK, she doesn't want to appear like a slut or a whore.

      To all the guys, karma's a bitch, and I bet your comments here about her are not nearly as bad as what your parents say about you.

    30. Becca- Clarion Unive says:

      B, It's people like you, that live in your sheltered little worlds to judge and degrade women for their choices. I am a sexually liberated woman. Who hasn't had sex with more than one person for a good year now. I'm also still single. Just because I'm liberated doesn't mean I'm a whore. And just because the Author is a sexually liberated woman, doesn't mean she is either, nor does it mean she'll get an STD, or unwanted pregnancy, because as I'm fairly certain, pregnancy is a risk you take with ANY relationship when sex is involved. and STD's can be transferred if you or your significant other is not so faithful.

      but you keep judging in your pristine ivory tower.

    31. Al says:

      Women who call other women "sluts" are usually obese AND unattractive thus never get men to look their way, let alone take them to bed. Stop hating other women… you're only sending us three steps back.

      Men who call women "sluts" are usually pathetic, beer bellied losers who are constantly being rejected by these so-called sluts and can't get a lay besides a jar of warm peanut butter. This just in: Men who are afraid to be with women who have had other lovers have insecurities that stem from the fear that they just won't "measure" up… sad really.

      However, there's hope for you, because the type of woman mentioned above are desperate for male attention/ affection and you are desperate to lose your virginity (which is apparently only reserved for females, according to becca). A match made in heaven.

    32. Al says:

      Sorry, Becca, I meant the source of the remarks… TEl

    33. Sharz says:

      Wow after reading the article and the comments, I'm sadden at how people think. No shes is not a slut and no one should call her that, she is doing something that all humans have fulfilling sexual tension and its also something that all animals have lol. But big BUT (lol) she really should find a better way of doing this that doesnt put her at risk to disease, emotional trouble(that she is already having), or even child (whoa). If the dude did that with you he's doing it to some otha chick too!!!! let me be real with you "THATS NASTY" and also waiting for sex or being a virgin is not something bad its actual a really good idea there are no downfalls besides being very horny but look at the downfalls of being "sexually liberated" and ask yourself is it really worth it???????????? Yes Im a virgin(don't hate haha) and its super hard,but hey when you wrk hard you get rewarded!! Noa, I 'm sry people are such jerks!!! I hope your decision makes you happy:)

    34. Courtney says:

      Wow, some people have gone berserk. You can't meet someone for more than a day without having sex with them? REALLY? Have some self control. Sex should be a lot more special than that.

    35. Ronaldo says:

      Becca, I agree with what you're saying, but reading it the way you wrote it is excruciating. Please go see an English professor at Clarion and have a discussion about run-on sentences, punctuation, and sentence fragments.

    36. Jesse says:

      Its easy, tell him your coming. Too many thing in this world pass us by. Stop and realize what you want and TAKE IT! Chances are he wants some action too, I dont know too many guys that turn down a girl. But if you have access to him you have to make the move, because he aint gonna know you were there.

      Or you could sit around wasting your vacation checking his facebook to see if someone drops a hint at where he might be that night and rush to put on makeup and a cute number to impress him into shagging you again. Which now you are competing with all the other girls in the bar… when you could have had him thinking about you all week prior and had the heads up.

    37. jane says:

      All this slutty talk is sounding more and more fun! I wish I were young again to enjoy it! I loved turning guys on by not wearing panties under my dress/skirt. Always got a nice reaction,mmmm.

    38. Pound Sand says:

      Self respect is more important than self esteem. Concentrate on the former and don’t play “Russian roulette” with STDs.

    39. Juanito says:

      Just email the guy & tell him you’re going to be home & ask him if he wants to hang out. If he wants to and can he’ll say yes, if he doesn’t want to he’ll make up a lame excuse (e.g. I have to help my dad paint the basement or I’m not feeling well; guys don’t pass up sex if they have a cold) or not respond. If he can’t meet up, the excuse will be believable; e.g. my best friend just died or the MCAT is this weekend, or I have a job interview. Either way, I wouldn’t be freaked out about asking him out casually – big deal, he won’t think you’re a stalker unless you do something weird like get his unlisted telephone number or get his email address of a forwarded email or know way too much information about him. You’ve already hooked up, it’s not like you’ve never said two words to him before & if he wasn’t into you he wouldn’t have suggested that maybe you’ll see him the next time you’re home.

    40. […] The booty call I won’t call – College Candy […]

    41. jon says:

      id say just tell him that your coming and ask if he wants to hangout. hes a guy and if he had sex with you once im sure he'll do it again. and theres no way he'll think your psycho if all you do is ask him to hang out. give it a try. and if for some odd reason he says no than you'll never have to see him again if you dont want to

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