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	<title>Comments on: 21 Ways to be a Gentleman in the 21st Century</title>
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	<description>Advice on student style, collegiate dating discussion guides, relationship advice and women&#039;s studies.</description>
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		<title>By: Michael</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/30/21-ways-to-be-a-gentleman-in-the-21st-century/#comment-47172</link>
		<dc:creator>Michael</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 01 Aug 2009 06:07:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://collegecandy.com/?p=32472#comment-47172</guid>
		<description>Ashley,

If you had read my post properly, you would see &quot;try not to get too caught up with a hobby when the girl is around and blatantly ignore her.&quot; As in do not blatantly ignore her, for whatever reason, as guys would expect the same back. I agree there&#039;s nothing wrong with pausing a game, that&#039;s why the feature was invented, and it should be used. Just wanted to clarify.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Ashley,</p>
<p>If you had read my post properly, you would see &#8220;try not to get too caught up with a hobby when the girl is around and blatantly ignore her.&#8221; As in do not blatantly ignore her, for whatever reason, as guys would expect the same back. I agree there&#8217;s nothing wrong with pausing a game, that&#8217;s why the feature was invented, and it should be used. Just wanted to clarify.</p>
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		<title>By: David</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/30/21-ways-to-be-a-gentleman-in-the-21st-century/#comment-46442</link>
		<dc:creator>David</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 27 Jul 2009 08:23:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://collegecandy.com/?p=32472#comment-46442</guid>
		<description>I won&#039;t even begin to say that this or that makes you a gentleman.  I would say that if your values include consideration, thoughfulness and decent treatment of others and are typically how you act in public and private, your likely a gentleman, atleast in principle.

  Of the above, I believe thoughfulness is a fundimental game-maker in a relationship.  What are we looking for in a relationship, but to be with someone that considers our views and interest and substantially wants to be apart of our lives, however periodic and situational?  

  I have but a couple suggestions to the list.

1. A single welcome touch is magic to many. Take a moment of shared pleasure in an initial held hand, a carress to the side of her face and a soft pair of hands on her shoulders when helping her on with her coat.  The physical contact more subtle, are so often so much more meaningful.  Men need to rethink the addage.. &quot;Size does matter, though in some instances less is more&quot; or the popular, &quot;Once a knight always a Knight, though once a night&#039;s enough&quot; (figure it out for yourself fellas)

2. Words from feelings usually come out wrong for us guys.  It&#039;s linked to the prostate fellas, so you might as well find additional ways of getting your feelings across.  Try instead to simply don&#039;t.. speak.  Admit that your not up to expressing yourself in words.  Instead take time for find a moving image, flower, piece of music and send it to your lady. &quot;I don&#039;t do words well, but something of what I want to say you can see in this. (whatever it is that moves you).  Let her decide for herself what the message should read.  You might be surprise how intuitive the lady may be.  Truthfully its more important that you took the time, and that your attempt was to communicate some feeling in some way other than a spent prophy.

 My time up yet?  Well let me try one other suggestion.  Say thank you.  Not tough.. doesn&#039;t require a huge emotional investment.  Try to say Thank you when you recognize the lady has gone out of her way for you.  If she get dressed up for dinner, &quot;thank you, you look spectacular&quot;.  If she goes out of her way to be with you w/ the guys, &quot;thank you, I&#039;m glad your with me today.&quot;  When the lady tells you she loves you for the first time, &quot;Thank you, I hope I can earn your affection&quot;

 Is that what this article was about, or just about good manners and whether to hold open a car door.  Damn I should pay more attention before I contribute.

Good luck fellas.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I won&#8217;t even begin to say that this or that makes you a gentleman.  I would say that if your values include consideration, thoughfulness and decent treatment of others and are typically how you act in public and private, your likely a gentleman, atleast in principle.</p>
<p>  Of the above, I believe thoughfulness is a fundimental game-maker in a relationship.  What are we looking for in a relationship, but to be with someone that considers our views and interest and substantially wants to be apart of our lives, however periodic and situational?  </p>
<p>  I have but a couple suggestions to the list.</p>
<p>1. A single welcome touch is magic to many. Take a moment of shared pleasure in an initial held hand, a carress to the side of her face and a soft pair of hands on her shoulders when helping her on with her coat.  The physical contact more subtle, are so often so much more meaningful.  Men need to rethink the addage.. &#8220;Size does matter, though in some instances less is more&#8221; or the popular, &#8220;Once a knight always a Knight, though once a night&#8217;s enough&#8221; (figure it out for yourself fellas)</p>
<p>2. Words from feelings usually come out wrong for us guys.  It&#8217;s linked to the prostate fellas, so you might as well find additional ways of getting your feelings across.  Try instead to simply don&#8217;t.. speak.  Admit that your not up to expressing yourself in words.  Instead take time for find a moving image, flower, piece of music and send it to your lady. &#8220;I don&#8217;t do words well, but something of what I want to say you can see in this. (whatever it is that moves you).  Let her decide for herself what the message should read.  You might be surprise how intuitive the lady may be.  Truthfully its more important that you took the time, and that your attempt was to communicate some feeling in some way other than a spent prophy.</p>
<p> My time up yet?  Well let me try one other suggestion.  Say thank you.  Not tough.. doesn&#8217;t require a huge emotional investment.  Try to say Thank you when you recognize the lady has gone out of her way for you.  If she get dressed up for dinner, &#8220;thank you, you look spectacular&#8221;.  If she goes out of her way to be with you w/ the guys, &#8220;thank you, I&#8217;m glad your with me today.&#8221;  When the lady tells you she loves you for the first time, &#8220;Thank you, I hope I can earn your affection&#8221;</p>
<p> Is that what this article was about, or just about good manners and whether to hold open a car door.  Damn I should pay more attention before I contribute.</p>
<p>Good luck fellas.</p>
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		<title>By: Ashley</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/30/21-ways-to-be-a-gentleman-in-the-21st-century/#comment-46416</link>
		<dc:creator>Ashley</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 27 Jul 2009 03:30:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://collegecandy.com/?p=32472#comment-46416</guid>
		<description>Concerning the thing about video games, I have to disagree with Michael. I don&#039;t mind if my boyfriend plays video games, and in fact there have been several occasions where he would rent a game to play and I would watch (get the right storyline and it&#039;s like a movie!). Sometimes, though, it can get really annoying if I call, and he&#039;s in the middle of a game, and I have something really important to talk with him about. He can&#039;t pause the game to hear me out! I&#039;m trying to have a conversation with him and all I get is, &quot;Uh-huh,&quot; &quot;Whatever, I&#039;m really busy,&quot; and other things that make it appear as if the video game is an extremely important, essential part to his survival.

The other thing I wanted to mention was about texting. Texting during dinner IS rude, but I also think texting others (especially other women) while on a date or hangout with your girlfriend is rude. A few is okay, but when you start having long conversations, it can make a girl feel a little neglected!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Concerning the thing about video games, I have to disagree with Michael. I don&#8217;t mind if my boyfriend plays video games, and in fact there have been several occasions where he would rent a game to play and I would watch (get the right storyline and it&#8217;s like a movie!). Sometimes, though, it can get really annoying if I call, and he&#8217;s in the middle of a game, and I have something really important to talk with him about. He can&#8217;t pause the game to hear me out! I&#8217;m trying to have a conversation with him and all I get is, &#8220;Uh-huh,&#8221; &#8220;Whatever, I&#8217;m really busy,&#8221; and other things that make it appear as if the video game is an extremely important, essential part to his survival.</p>
<p>The other thing I wanted to mention was about texting. Texting during dinner IS rude, but I also think texting others (especially other women) while on a date or hangout with your girlfriend is rude. A few is okay, but when you start having long conversations, it can make a girl feel a little neglected!</p>
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		<title>By: Caitlin</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/30/21-ways-to-be-a-gentleman-in-the-21st-century/#comment-44058</link>
		<dc:creator>Caitlin</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 Jul 2009 23:28:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://collegecandy.com/?p=32472#comment-44058</guid>
		<description>If a guy stood up when I entered the room, I&#039;d be EXTREMELY impressed. Manners are make or break. Treating a man like a gentleman and appreciating his thoughtfulness is a good way to elicit good treatment in return. 
If you want a woman to act like a lady, treat her like one.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>If a guy stood up when I entered the room, I&#8217;d be EXTREMELY impressed. Manners are make or break. Treating a man like a gentleman and appreciating his thoughtfulness is a good way to elicit good treatment in return.<br />
If you want a woman to act like a lady, treat her like one.</p>
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		<title>By: Prince</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/30/21-ways-to-be-a-gentleman-in-the-21st-century/#comment-43611</link>
		<dc:creator>Prince</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Jul 2009 21:25:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://collegecandy.com/?p=32472#comment-43611</guid>
		<description>I think who write this article needs to be a gentle because its not something to learn,its a habit.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I think who write this article needs to be a gentle because its not something to learn,its a habit.</p>
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		<title>By: Laura</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/30/21-ways-to-be-a-gentleman-in-the-21st-century/#comment-43295</link>
		<dc:creator>Laura</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Jul 2009 00:44:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://collegecandy.com/?p=32472#comment-43295</guid>
		<description>I Love This List!!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I Love This List!!</p>
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		<title>By: Michael</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/30/21-ways-to-be-a-gentleman-in-the-21st-century/#comment-43018</link>
		<dc:creator>Michael</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Jul 2009 06:52:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://collegecandy.com/?p=32472#comment-43018</guid>
		<description>Dear Melanie,

I recently stumbled upon this site and find it very interesting, especially this article. As a loving boyfriend, I am always looking for better ways to be a gentleman. However, I was shocked at how narrow-minded some of these views are, and have a pleasant beef to have with you over a few of them, if you don&#039;t mind...

3. Don’t blow her off for video games. Real sports games? Acceptable with a forewarning. Impromptu Madden tournament? Not so much.

I roll my eyes and want to curse everyone who has this mindset. That videogames are some sort of evil concoction, and real sports are something acceptable. Another one similar to this is &quot;Pay attention to her when watching The Game&quot; What if I don&#039;t give a rat&#039;s flying ass about sports? Let&#039;s take a wildcard: what if my true passion is videogames? Geez, can&#039;t play games when the girlfriend comes around. Then she seems more like a nuisance, and both of us know it! Instead of close-minded approaches, like &quot;no videogames, yes sports&quot;, you should try something like, &quot;try not to get too caught up with a hobby when the girl is around and blatantly ignore her. But better yet, it can be fun for both of you if you can get her involved!&quot; This also happens to be related to my next beef:

8. Let her watch “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” or whatever girly show she likes without mocking it the entire way through. Bonus points for putting it on your DVR.

Ok, so we aren&#039;t supposed to play games, and have to check in for other activities, but she gets to drag us in to watch some mindless twaddle on TV, without us complaining? I&#039;m thinking of a word...&quot;double&quot;...and wait, here comes another...&quot;standard&quot;. No matter how many articles I read on males and females being nicer to each other, the males are ALWAYS EXPECTED to try harder. Since when did the notion of equality ever ring through a relationship? A relationship consists of two different people, meaning they have different likes, dislikes, etc. Just because they are &quot;dating&quot; does not mean they get to ruin each others lives. Making your date do something they don&#039;t want to do, over and over, will just make them more and more upset until something bad happens. Instead, you can still do stuff you like to do on your own in that fashion, but the two of you should should do stuff you BOTH enjoy doing together, and turns out it might make both of you happy in the end. Last one coming:

9. No, she doesn’t look fat in that dress. Yes, even if she does.

For reference, my girl wears about a size 9 pants (and not the kind that give her a muffintop, either) Every time she asks me that, I tell her she is fat. That she&#039;s the fattest thing those pants/dress/whatever have ever seen, she should be arrested for cruel and unusual punishment to fabric. That gets her to know better than to ask stupid, asinine questions like that. She knows that I think she is beautiful, and I let her know it when I want to, which is often enough. Asking if she is fat is the
way to say &quot;Tell me I&#039;m pretty, or else.&quot;, which is pretty douchebaggy if you ask me. This is a trick question, anyway. Girls and their boyfriends are both aware of &quot;how fat&quot; she is, and either way guys answer is horrible. Either the girl is fat, in which case the guy has to be honest and say &quot;yes&quot; at which point will ruin her mood, or cringe and say &quot;of course not&quot; which really doesn&#039;t solve anything because, well, she&#039;s still fat. Obviously this guy sees something in who you are, and loves and accepts you as a person instead of a bathroom scale readout and you should stop trying to get him to clean the undersides of your shoes with his mouth. This really pisses me off when skinny girls ask this, because, well, THEY&#039;RE NOT FAT. They have no reason to ask such a question in the first place.

End of rant. Sorry if that terribly offended anyone, but that&#039;s just my opinion. Otherwise, the rest of the list is decent and boyfriends should follow it better.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Dear Melanie,</p>
<p>I recently stumbled upon this site and find it very interesting, especially this article. As a loving boyfriend, I am always looking for better ways to be a gentleman. However, I was shocked at how narrow-minded some of these views are, and have a pleasant beef to have with you over a few of them, if you don&#8217;t mind&#8230;</p>
<p>3. Don’t blow her off for video games. Real sports games? Acceptable with a forewarning. Impromptu Madden tournament? Not so much.</p>
<p>I roll my eyes and want to curse everyone who has this mindset. That videogames are some sort of evil concoction, and real sports are something acceptable. Another one similar to this is &#8220;Pay attention to her when watching The Game&#8221; What if I don&#8217;t give a rat&#8217;s flying ass about sports? Let&#8217;s take a wildcard: what if my true passion is videogames? Geez, can&#8217;t play games when the girlfriend comes around. Then she seems more like a nuisance, and both of us know it! Instead of close-minded approaches, like &#8220;no videogames, yes sports&#8221;, you should try something like, &#8220;try not to get too caught up with a hobby when the girl is around and blatantly ignore her. But better yet, it can be fun for both of you if you can get her involved!&#8221; This also happens to be related to my next beef:</p>
<p>8. Let her watch “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” or whatever girly show she likes without mocking it the entire way through. Bonus points for putting it on your DVR.</p>
<p>Ok, so we aren&#8217;t supposed to play games, and have to check in for other activities, but she gets to drag us in to watch some mindless twaddle on TV, without us complaining? I&#8217;m thinking of a word&#8230;&#8221;double&#8221;&#8230;and wait, here comes another&#8230;&#8221;standard&#8221;. No matter how many articles I read on males and females being nicer to each other, the males are ALWAYS EXPECTED to try harder. Since when did the notion of equality ever ring through a relationship? A relationship consists of two different people, meaning they have different likes, dislikes, etc. Just because they are &#8220;dating&#8221; does not mean they get to ruin each others lives. Making your date do something they don&#8217;t want to do, over and over, will just make them more and more upset until something bad happens. Instead, you can still do stuff you like to do on your own in that fashion, but the two of you should should do stuff you BOTH enjoy doing together, and turns out it might make both of you happy in the end. Last one coming:</p>
<p>9. No, she doesn’t look fat in that dress. Yes, even if she does.</p>
<p>For reference, my girl wears about a size 9 pants (and not the kind that give her a muffintop, either) Every time she asks me that, I tell her she is fat. That she&#8217;s the fattest thing those pants/dress/whatever have ever seen, she should be arrested for cruel and unusual punishment to fabric. That gets her to know better than to ask stupid, asinine questions like that. She knows that I think she is beautiful, and I let her know it when I want to, which is often enough. Asking if she is fat is the<br />
way to say &#8220;Tell me I&#8217;m pretty, or else.&#8221;, which is pretty douchebaggy if you ask me. This is a trick question, anyway. Girls and their boyfriends are both aware of &#8220;how fat&#8221; she is, and either way guys answer is horrible. Either the girl is fat, in which case the guy has to be honest and say &#8220;yes&#8221; at which point will ruin her mood, or cringe and say &#8220;of course not&#8221; which really doesn&#8217;t solve anything because, well, she&#8217;s still fat. Obviously this guy sees something in who you are, and loves and accepts you as a person instead of a bathroom scale readout and you should stop trying to get him to clean the undersides of your shoes with his mouth. This really pisses me off when skinny girls ask this, because, well, THEY&#8217;RE NOT FAT. They have no reason to ask such a question in the first place.</p>
<p>End of rant. Sorry if that terribly offended anyone, but that&#8217;s just my opinion. Otherwise, the rest of the list is decent and boyfriends should follow it better.</p>
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		<title>By: For Ladies by Ladies - The Evening Scoop: Ways to Be a Gentleman, a Dirty Teenager, and Lohan's Mistakes &#124;</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/30/21-ways-to-be-a-gentleman-in-the-21st-century/#comment-40731</link>
		<dc:creator>For Ladies by Ladies - The Evening Scoop: Ways to Be a Gentleman, a Dirty Teenager, and Lohan's Mistakes &#124;</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 Jul 2009 19:02:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://collegecandy.com/?p=32472#comment-40731</guid>
		<description>[...] Click on the photo for 21 ways to be a gentleman [...]</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>[...] Click on the photo for 21 ways to be a gentleman [...]</p>
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		<title>By: Darwin</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/30/21-ways-to-be-a-gentleman-in-the-21st-century/#comment-40706</link>
		<dc:creator>Darwin</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 Jul 2009 17:58:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://collegecandy.com/?p=32472#comment-40706</guid>
		<description>I agree with MD on #1. Doing that for a date or girlfriend is one thing, but it shouldn&#039;t be for any gal. Then again, we&#039;re the 21st century with independent. Going Dutch is reasonable sometimes.

Otherwise, guys should be hitting a huge majority of the other 20 things. They&#039;re pretty common sense. Learn some manners.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I agree with MD on #1. Doing that for a date or girlfriend is one thing, but it shouldn&#8217;t be for any gal. Then again, we&#8217;re the 21st century with independent. Going Dutch is reasonable sometimes.</p>
<p>Otherwise, guys should be hitting a huge majority of the other 20 things. They&#8217;re pretty common sense. Learn some manners.</p>
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		<title>By: MD</title>
		<link>http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/30/21-ways-to-be-a-gentleman-in-the-21st-century/#comment-40131</link>
		<dc:creator>MD</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 08 Jul 2009 08:24:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://collegecandy.com/?p=32472#comment-40131</guid>
		<description>Typical.... right up there at #1 is &#039;pay for stuff for us&#039;.

Most of these aren&#039;t about being a gentleman.... this is more like a recipe for how to get walked over and end up in the &#039;nice guy but wouldn&#039;t date&#039; category.

Her list reads like &#039;me me me me me... do as i want.... me me me me me... treat me like a princess, whilst i treat you like a walking wallet.... me me me me me.&#039;

what a load of bollocks.... treat all people with respect, but don&#039;t just hand yourself and your dignity over to them on a plate.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Typical&#8230;. right up there at #1 is &#8216;pay for stuff for us&#8217;.</p>
<p>Most of these aren&#8217;t about being a gentleman&#8230;. this is more like a recipe for how to get walked over and end up in the &#8216;nice guy but wouldn&#8217;t date&#8217; category.</p>
<p>Her list reads like &#8216;me me me me me&#8230; do as i want&#8230;. me me me me me&#8230; treat me like a princess, whilst i treat you like a walking wallet&#8230;. me me me me me.&#8217;</p>
<p>what a load of bollocks&#8230;. treat all people with respect, but don&#8217;t just hand yourself and your dignity over to them on a plate.</p>
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