Ahh.. home sweet home. Or is it? Now that most of us are home for the summer, we’ve realized that the break’s over and the spontaneous nights of beer pong and the freedom to do who/what we like are gone. Funny how quickly it went from, “Our baby girl’s finally home from college. We’ve missed you so much!” to “Oh. You’re home? Run to the store and pick up some milk.”

Things are starting to fall back into their old routines, but it’s not the same. You’re an adult now, a house guest in your own home. Your house doesn’t really feel like your pre-college home anymore and the rules have all changed… or have they? Check out these Home-for-the-Summer House Rules:

Curfews. Yes, I understand that most of us are way too old to have curfews. This isn’t about that. It’s rude to stumble in at 1 in the morning and wake up the entire house. And regardless of whether you’re 12 or 22, you should probably give your parents a heads up if you’re planning to stay out late. Your parents will always be your parents and if their baby is still out “missing” with no warning, they’re going to worry/call the cops.

Chores. Just because you’re an ‘adult’ now (especially because you’re an adult now) doesn’t mean you can laze around all summer. Your mother is not your maid. If your parents are feeding you and letting you live rent free for the summer, the least you can do is pick up after yourself and help around the house. Chances are, the rents have realized that you’re going to be around for awhile and they’ve already put you to work anyway. Read More »

Want to hear a little secret?

Guys love to masturbate. I bet you had no idea, but they do. In the bed, in the car, in the shower. Hell, I’m sure they’ve even done it in class and I’m willing to wager there are a few doing it right now. While reading this article.

And it doesn’t matter if they have a girlfriend (read: consistent booty) or not; they can’t resist a threesome with Jergens and their right hand.

I, for one, am also a big proponent of self stimulation – a woman has needs! – but that doesn’t mean I understand how guys can do it so often. Anytime. Anywhere. Without locking the door. Especially when they’ve got a GF! Isn’t that enough? Why the need for a mid-afternoon “O” when they’re getting it daily as it is!?

Should we be offended? Grossed out? Squirting hand sanitizer onto every dude we see? Let’s see what our resident male had to say about this sitch: Read More »

I love dudes.  Straight up, dudes are amazing with their tallness and deep voices and facial hair and whatnot.  I even like their ability to eat astounding amounts of food and their random, dorky humor.  There are so many awesome things about guys that girls in general just don’t have.

However, there are some things that girls have that guys should just stay away from.  These things mostly exist in the realm of fashion (and make-up, but we won’t go there because dudes should not wear make-up, period.  We’re talking to you, Adam Lambert).  Here is the list of the most heinous fashion crimes committed by the male population: Read More »

If your internship is anything like mine, not every hour in your 9-5 day is filled with important tasks and urgent errands. Although I certainly have things to keep me occupied, a less than full schedule can make the time spent in your little cubicle feel awfully long and completely brutal. After almost three weeks on the job, I’ve come up with a list of things to get yourself through a day’s work – that is, when you’re not totally consumed with real work (and if you are, you probably have no reason or time to read this).

Get Moving
Not a smoker? That doesn’t mean you need to stay inside all day! I’ve never been a fan of the cancer sticks myself, but I allow myself a few minutes of outside time each day to prevent cabin fever and stiff bones. To avoid looking silly as you stand next to the puff-puff crew, walk to a street stand and buy some chewing gum or do some quick window-shopping.

Get Smart
Are you one of those people who can’t help but having a totally confused look on your face when someone brings up Obama’s new healthcare plan? Have you been hiding under a current-events rock? If you have free time, you should spend it getting up-to-date on the news that’s affecting your life on a daily basis. This can be done easily by visiting nytimes.com or hitting up your favorite cultural blogs, like the Huffington Post. I’ve gotten addicted to the Times’s food writer Mark Bitten (I know, not too educational, but hey – at least it’s not Facebook), who constantly updates his site with recipes and food news. If we can’t eat all day, we can at least think about eating all day! Read More »

So, long skirts were in style at some point in the last 5 years and you somehow have, like, 12 taking up space in the back of your closet. You’re obvi more into the show-off-your-legs kinda skirts these days, but you can’t bear to part with them. You don’t have to – in fact, they could be the most versatile pieces in your entire wardrobe!

Did you know that your skirt is not just a skirt? That’s right, a long skirt doubles as a strapless top or even as a dress! Stop wasting money buying new things when you have plenty to work with already. And in a variety of ways!

A skirt that has an elastic waistband can easily be worn as a dress or top. If you think the silhouette looks a little too funky, add a belt at your waist to pull it together. Accessorize with long necklaces and a killer pair of shoes, and you’re ready to go. Read More »

This week’s article: What the Woman in Your Life is Really Thinking

This week’s piece of craptastic man advice is different than most as it is written from the perspective of a woman detailing exactly what goes through her mind at important relationship moments. An extremely simpleminded, calorie-obsessed, insecure woman, that is.

This article makes all women seem like completely superficial idiots. The introduction to the article – “Every woman reacts differently, but my account here will scare the bejeezus out of you by coming pretty damn close to what your wife or girlfriend was thinking at various points in the arc of your relationship. Psychologists are standing by to help you understand—and deal with—us women” – gives me some hope that it was written as a joke, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be taken seriously by the men who read it.

Relationship Milestone #1: The Night You Met

What we’re supposedly thinking: “Are you actually hot, or have I just made that up so I won’t get bored and eat all this bread, which is awesome?”
Are You Kidding? OMG! I ALWAYS pretend men are hot to keep from consuming extra carbs!! And there is nothing that makes me crave a basket of bread more than an ugly guy.

What we’re supposedly thinking: “You looked away. I didn’t like you anyway. I’m bored. I want more bread.”
Are You Kidding? Again with the bread. Couldn’t the author at least pick something more interesting, like cheese dip or spinach puffs or mini pigs-in-a-blankets? I mean, when I’m upset or rejected, bread isn’t the first thing I turn to… Read More »

Graduation is no longer just a corny Vitamin C song to me anymore. Next week is my own high school graduation, and now that the event is nearly here, it all feels so incredibly real: leaving home, heading to college, living mostly on my own without the guidance of my parents. I remember starting freshman year thinking that high school would be the longest four years of my life. In reality, the time flew by all too fast.

Looking back on my high school career, I was never that sentimental about moving from one grade to the next. I often counted down the last days of school on a huge calendar on my desk, just to make crossing off the final day that much sweeter.

But now, I find myself feeling rather schmaltzy about it all. On the last day of classes, I shambled after classmates and teachers to get signatures for my yearbook. I spent most of last week reminiscing with friends about the past few years the way my grandparents do about the “olden days.” I’m normally not one to wear my emotions on my sleeve, but something about this particular milestone in my life has been bringing these feelings the surface. The sadness about leaving friends and family, the uncontainable excitement of a new adventure – the mixture of the two is something I’ve never experienced before now. Read More »

As July creeps closer in my archaic paper day planner (no, I don’t have a Blackberry, okay!?), I am getting ever more excited for one glorious event: The Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest.  Nothing beats watching a ripped hottie (Japanese hottie, no less) scarfing dogs like he’s on death row.  I, unfortunately, can only handle a maximum of three hot dogs (and that was on a bet…which I lost) and have no six pack.

Apparently, there is another awesome summer competition that I might actually have a chance at: the National Texting Championships.  Tasks include texting while blindfolded (uh, sleep/drunk texting basically – done deal) and texting while maneuvering through a moving obstacle course (texting while walking – done deal).  The most awesome part about this competition is the winner gets a free phone AND $50,000!  If only I had known about this before! Read More »

Staying on any kind of workout schedule (or just schedule, for that matter) is close to impossible in college. With each day comes different classes, meetings, part time jobs, social engagements and perhaps most importantly, happy hours. Trying to adhere to the same gym or running time is an unlikely feat for most of us, not to mention the fact that when I’m presented with the choice between a sweat session or a sipping session, more often than not, the cocktails win. Wah wah.

But, a great way to stay motivated and keep your activity levels up is to train for a race! I know this sounds a bit intimidating at first, but let me tell you from personal experience (I ran my first half-marathon last year), it’s totally doable and well-worth it. Knowing that I was going to be sweating out 13.1 miles at a specific date gave me the extra boost to get out of bed in the morning or squeeze in a run whenever I could. I was able to drop a few lbs, improve my overall fitness, raise money for a charity and still go out with my friends at night all at the same time!

Read More »

Katie Holmes will dance (if Tom lets her out of the house…)

Bikini waxes cause more than a little pain.

Amy Winehouse’s parents are (obviously) worried.

This gives new meaning to party in the back…

Uh, Weird Al is back? And he’s still funny!

The Hills causes eating disorders.