Tyra Banks gets her grubby paws on Gossip Girl.

And this is why kid leashes should be banned.

A Seinfeld reunion in the works??

Choosing the right color scheme for your dorm room.

Kristen Stewart really is just like us.

Is this the best snack ever?

It’s been one hell of a week. Literally.

The mixture of heat and humidity outside is paralleled only in Satan’s world, and the frizz ball that is my head makes me think someone upstairs is very, very upset with me.  But, besides all that, I guess the week wasn’t too bad as we wrapped up July, CollegeCandy style.

Our party on Wednesday was nothing short of amazing, except that whole “waking up and going to work the next morning” thing.  (If you missed it, you can get jealous and pretend you were there by checkin out some hot pics here!)

We got some great shopping tips, like how to dress yourself thin (without the Spanx!) and how to get cute stuff without spending too much money. And, most important, how to shop for sex toys. Between a new wardrobe, the smoking hot fall makeup trends, and adding that 6 minute workout into your day (while listening to the awesome playlist, of course) you’ll be making a kick-ass impression and be sure to have all the frat boys drooling come Welcome Week.

TV always manages to surprise us and this week was no exception. Behind the scenes with Paris Hilton? A dating show for “real” people? The premier of The Real Housewives of Atlanta? It was like one big train wreck and I couldn’t stop watching. Those people made me feel a whole lot better about myself, even if I have a few…er…interesting secrets. (I may or may not be typing this very post from my bathroom….)

But it’s all over now and I’m resting comfortably on this (hot as balls) Friday afternoon.

Have a great weekend, ladies. Just be sure to pull up your pants, pull down your shirt, and wear a freakin bra!  Oh, and don’t be a third wheel, Not cool.

When I first heard that Joe Jonas couldn’t keep it together post break up with girlfriend Camille Belle and sobbed on stage during a show, I thought it was adorbs. A guy who is in touch with his emotions and willing to let it all out in front of 25,000 people? Be still my heart.

But then I started to wonder if weepy boyf is really all that appealing. Or if any of the qualities we look for in guys are really all that great in reality. We all want that perfect clean-cut, handsome, sensitive, funny and smart guy who dresses well and treats us like a princess. But why? If you’re “lucky” enough to find him, you’ll soon realize he can’t give you your happy ending after all.

The Dream: A nice clean-cut boy toy.
The Reality: Okay, so guys tend to be dirtier than women. And sometimes it can just be gross. Really gross. And what’s worse than having than a guy with crusty armpits on his shirts and a faint aroma of fart? Uh, how about a guy who takes longer to get ready than you, or one who douses himself in Axe so you can smell him 10 minutes before he shows up at your door? Or a guy who makes you look and feel like total crap on a Sunday when you’re too hungover to shower, so you take the day off?

The Dream: A guy who takes care of himself
The Reality: As many of us can attest, there isn’t much less attractive than a dude with random patches of hair on his back/shoulders/between his brows/in his nose. And no one can deny that running your hands over a smooth hair-free chest (with six-pack abs) feels amazing.  But when you’re getting a manicure with the girls, you don’t want to have to see your guy come in for his 2 hour body waxing appointment. Or deal with all. that. stubble when it starts to grow back. And have you ever interacted with bald balls? Yeah, I always wanted a guy to do a little trimmy trim down there too…until my guy did.

Take it from me: SCARY. Read More »

I hate my exes. Mostly because I’m not even sure I can call them my exes. You see, in the world of the eternally single, you rack up a lot of blurry relationships with people. We go on dates, but we’re not dating. We’re dating, but we’re not together. We’re together, but he’s not my boyfriend. We make out every Tuesday, Thursday, and third Friday of the month, but that’s it.

It’s bad enough when it’s occurring, but when the sordid, undefinable tryst ends…you don’t even know how to bitch about them! Man, that “guy who I used to sometimes make out with (and one time I think we went on a date, but it was only kind of a date because we didn’t refer to it as one)… really sucks.” God. It takes up more effort than the half assed relationship ever did.

The worst of it followed me out this week. Earlier in the summer, I had become interested in (obsessed with) a cute, smart, funny dude I had met while I was out. I gave him my number, and we ended up hanging out (making out) a few times. I started to get frustrated when I realized the extent of our hanging out was us making out, so I finally grew a metaphorical pair and told the horny jerk off. And of course with my luck, two days after I stand up for myself by acting like a crazy bitch, I run into him while I’m out with friends. And I thought Chicago was supposed to be a LARGE city…do I need to move to Hong Kong? Read More »

[This post is old. To get the real, updated deal on Facebook creepin', click here.]

My day started off bad enough with ultra frizzy hair and sweat in every crack, crevice and fold on my body (thank you, hot and hazy NYC summer!). I didn’t think it could get much worse than swamp ass, but it did. Oh boy did it get worse.

Upon signing online for my morning FB stalk sesh I learned that Facebook has added a new application:  The Stalker Check app.

What is it, you ask? Why, it’s a way for everyone on FB to see who has been looking at their profile. Yes, that includes the guy I’m crushing on, whose pictures I may or may not (read: totes) check every day. And those cute boys I’ve met at the bar, whose profiles I check the minute I get home at 3am.  And my ex boyfriend, whose wall-to-wall with other bitches I tend to monitor. And those very bitches with their skanky photos and annoying status updates…. Read More »

Jewelry can make or break an outfit. This is fact. It’s a great way to spice up your usual uniform (jeans, black v-neck, black flats – I know it all too well), assuming, of course, that you don’t go overboard and look like you went shopping in your grandma’s closet (tchotchke heaven).

This season there is no better way to reinvent some old pieces in your wardrobe than by adding some bling bling. Right now jewelry is big, it’s bold, it’s bedazzled, jeweled and animal printed. It’s also ridiculously over-priced at so many places. But those aren’t the places you are going to be shopping, because it is so easy to find pieces for cheap that look like they belong in J.Lo’s closet. Read: bling blingin’ on the cheap cheapin’.

So before you go spending $150 on a necklace you claim will give you seasons of love, come to terms with the fact that in 12 months time, you will more likely than not have moved on out – Jeffersons style – to something that’s a lot less animal printed. So why spend $150 when you can get the same bangin look for $15?

Yeah, I thought so. Read More »

I wonder how much Big Jim charges for a sin cleansing over there at the Boobie Bungalow.

There are a lot of celebrities out there that simply disappear, whether it be voluntarily or due to lack of talent/rehab/Bermuda triangle.  There are a couple that have massive amounts of issues, yet refuse to disappear.  In fact, they seem to pop up everywhere, strutting around uninvited on every red carpet.  People like Bai Ling and Paris Hilton are prime examples.

More recently, we have Mischa Barton.  I gotta admit, I really do enjoy watching a mediocre TV actress fall from grace (and she fell hard!).  Oh, speaking of mediocre actresses, I think I heard the other day that Tara Reid has teamed up with the douchebag powerhouse that is Christian Audigier to design some piece of crap that I’ll certainly see all around campus.  Yay.

In light of that wonderful piece of news, I think it’s time to pair up a couple of the most washed up faces in Hollywood:  Mischa Barton and Tara Reid. Read More »

Let’s be honest here for a second: books like “He’s Just Not That Into You” exist for a reason. And that reason is that women, as a collective, are really good at convincing ourselves of feelings and relationships that just aren’t there. We get so caught up in luuuurve that we don’t let ourselves see what’s really going on.

You know you’ve been there. You get a drunk text from a guy you heart at 3am and think, “Awww, he’s thinking about me!” You’re giddy and excited (and secretly start planning his birthday gift) and when you don’t get a text the next day (or 3 days after that…) you reason that he’s busy, he’s stressed out, or he has a knack for flushing his phone down the toilet when he’s drunk and he did party pretty hard last night. And your friends totally agree.

But, no matter how delusional we get (and, home girl, you know you get delusional), there comes a time when the signs are bright and flashing and undeniable: this kid is over it. Done. Dunzo. See ya never, biatch.

For me, it was when I made plans to go camping with my boyfriend, only to meet him at his house and see him leaving with another chick. (Yeah, it was rough, but I had the can opener, so I’d like to see how that turned out for him!) Or the guy who told me he was moving home for the summer…and then I saw him at the bar later that week.

For the CollegeCandy writers, there were equally obvious signs: Read More »

We’re on team Rogen. What about you?

Madonna’s got a new song. And it sucks.

Well, that’s a scary statistic.

Honestly, what doesn’t Vera Wang design these days?

The iPhone can rate your sex life.

Do we still need fashion week?