5 Best Things About the Fourth of July
Ahhh, Fourth of July.
It’s not a holiday that carries the burden of gift exchange, and you don’t feel guilty if you don’t spend it with your family. Is that why it’s one of the best days to celebrate? People make plans for the Fourth months in advance, which is more than we can say for St. Patrick’s day, its celebratory-drunkfest cousin. So what is it that makes Independence Day so special? I mean… other than the fact that we have freedom of speech and right to assemble and such.
They appeal to everyone. The rebels can light stuff on fire and blow things up. The artists can appreciate the colorful patterns of light against a midnight sky. And the lovers can tell themselves it’s okay if they just did it in a park on a blanket. Fireworks and Fourth of July are like Mistletoe and Christmas. They just aren’t as cool if you pick the wrong day.
2. Hot Dogs.
Am I the only one that kind of thinks Joey Chestnut is hot? Or the only person who has the SNL Saturday TV Funhouse featuring Takero Kobayashi bookmarked? Seriously, my inner fat kid can live vicariously through these competitive eaters. It’s like rubbernecking a bad car crash — you can’t help but cheer when 90-something-pound Sonja Thomas proceeds to chomp 8 hot dogs in about 15 seconds. Sonja, your metabolism is the kind of freedom every girl wishes for this Fourth of July.
3. Bank Holidays.
This year, the 4th occurs on a Saturday. My office is having a half day on the 2nd, and a full day off on the third. That’s a 3 1/2 day weekend, all because we gained our independence from the Brits a couple hundred years ago. Score! Many of us that do have to work can rest assured that we’re getting time and a half, and a lot of places have extended their patriotic holiday to include closings on Monday the 6th. Awesome!
Really, the 4th is the only summer holiday. Sure, if you live some place with consistent warm weather, like California, Florida, or Hawaii, you can have pool parties and cookouts whenever you like. But even if it is nice weather year-round, can you really justify a bathing suit at Christmas dinner? Whether you’re having a party or a family get-together on the fourth, you can express your independence in a string bikini and get away with it this weekend
5. Colored booze.
For St. Pat’s, they dye the beer green. BFD. For the fourth, you have a plethora of options, especially since there are THREE patriotic colors. From red strawberry daiquiris to blue Electric Iced Teas, you can mask your social drinking problem and look festive all at once! A lot of barbecues will be supplying cherry and blueberry Jell-O shots for the occasion, or just swing back a PBR and boast that you’re a true, red-blooded American.
If these aren’t enough reason to love the fourth, then I suggest you flip on TBS — hello, Independence Day is bound to be playing on repeat. Not only can you get your daily dose of Will Smith, but you can repeat the line “Welcome to Earf” until it’s just not funny anymore.
What type of independence are you celebrating this year?