Overheard: A Credit To The Team

Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!]

(Middle-aged woman in at a grocery checkout.)

Woman: Excuse me. Sir, can I ask you a question?

Bagboy: Yes, ma’am?

Woman: Where do you keep the Snickers bars and condoms?

(Girl, approaching a guy.)

Girl: So, I have a question for you. I mean, a guy question. It’s awkward, kinda.

Guy: Yah?

Girl: What’s up with… ice cream?

(Girl, leaving the swimming pool.)

Girl: … a purse cow. Like a purse dog, but you can squeeze the milk out of it.

(Two guys walk by a girl, ignoring her. The girl turns around and yells.)

Girl: Oh, thanks for acting like you don’t know me!

Guy: Uh, you de-friended me on Facebook.

(Two guys, getting out of a car in a parking lot.)

Guy 1: You got any 4th of July plans?

Guy 2: Drinking until I can’t tell my house from my dog.

(Bookstore employees talking to each other.)

Employee 1: I had this dream… dozens of tiny cows! They were the cutest things, just running around everywhere, getting stepped on, stuck in doors. They were bite-size.

Employee 2: They were Tinybeefs!

(Girl, on the phone.)

Girl: Wait, you’re secretly a man? I thought you were just obviously a man.

(Two guys, greeting each other.)

Guy 1: Hey. I’m Ian.

Guy 2: Yeah, I’m Gabe. Nice to meet you.

Guy 1: Can I call you Balls n’ Butts for short?

(Girl, looking at a pen.)

Girl: So it has a “comfort barrel”? Does that mean it smells like your mother?

(Guys, talking in the gym locker room.)

Guy: Yeah, ice is great for your hands. Just, like, bag of ice. Put them in, 10 minutes, take ‘em out, 10 minutes. 10 minutes in, 10 minutes out. Heals ‘em right up. Then you jerk off.

Guy 2: The ‘Arctic Stranger’?