Miss Manners: “Can I Have Yo Numba?”

July 8, 2009     Posted in Reality

get your numberI’m sure every sexy CC reader has gotten the awkward “Can I have yo numba?” from a not so appealing guy. While some of you are fine with flat out saying “No,” I’m looking to all the other ladies who  decide to give up their numbers (or more…) “just to be polite.” Now as Miss Manners, I am a huge advocate of good etiquette, but is humoring a guy you’re not really interested in really being polite?


By Vivian

Miss Manners says: Nope. It’s better and more respectable if you’re upfront with the guy rather than lead him on out of pity/kindness.  And, let’s be honest, you don’t want to have to screen your calls for the next 6 months out of fear that he’s not moving on….

Try one of these tactics to deliver the news instead:

Lie. Ahhh… The cornerstone of all etiquette: the white lie. Apologize and tell him that you have a boyfriend or tell him you dropped your brand new Blackberry down the toilet (true story). Yes, of course lying is bad and oft looked down on, but sometimes a white lie is more forgiving than the truth – as long as you don’t get too crazy with your story (“I have a penis”) and nobody gets harmed in the process.
Be wary of: Betting caught in your lie. Trust me, it’s pretty humiliating and you could end up with the “bitch” label. And news of a bitch spreads fast.

Politely excuse yourself… and run to the nearest restroom/exit. Say, “I’m sorry but I have to go,” with an air of finality so he gets the hint.
Be wary of: Him NOT getting the hint and waiting outside the bathroom door for you. Creepy? Yes. Possible? Definitely.

Try the truth (nicely). My preferred method, of course, as long as it’s delivered with tact. You don’t have to be mean about it. An apologetic, “You’re just not my type” will get your point across and you won’t have to worry about it/him haunting you in the future.
Be wary of: Hurting him – although, to be honest, any method of rejection will probably bruise his ego. And while you never want to be a mean heart-stomping bitch, it’s time to do what’s best for you and not worry about the weird creeper in the process.

So in conclusion, rejection is a dirty business, but in some cases it just has to be done. Don’t ever feel like you have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with because etiquette deems it so. If you don’t want to give that turd your number, don’t.

Anyway, I’m dying to hear about your rejection stories/tips. Leave a comment and tell me all about it!

13 Comments on "Miss Manners: “Can I Have Yo Numba?”"

  1. AmandaISU says:
    Wed, 8th Jul 20091:10 pm 

    i get that a lot, Sam. "he doesn't have to find out" eww.

  2. Sam says:
    Wed, 8th Jul 20095:13 pm 

    I’m glad I have a boyfriend, it’s always easier. I always felt bad for the guy and didn’t want to say something mean to him, after all it has to take courage to come up to a girl and ask for her number. I did have one guy come up to me the other day and ask me what it would take to get to know me and for my number. I told him I have a boyfriend. His response? “He doesn’t have to know.” Seriously? I was appalled, what great morals that guy possesses. After telling him, I’m not that kind of girl numerous times he finally left.

  3. beth says:
    Wed, 8th Jul 20095:39 pm 

    I have been hit on guys at work while i"m wearing my WEDDING RING. disgusting.

  4. Francesca says:
    Thu, 9th Jul 200912:11 am 

    Ugh I've come across similar males before. Hearing the word boyfriend means nothing to them. As for my response to guys I dont give my number to, I used to tell them "I'm good, thank you.." with a smile & then walk away lol.. And if I needed to keep reiterating my point, Id ask them to respect my decision  and let me enjoy my night with my girls. Sometimes I'd use the "omg you look like my cousin" line haha that would make them feel sooo awkward lol. Well that was all before I was in a relationship so now when guys approach me & ask, I flash my phone with the wallpaper of me and my boy lol    

  5. Christina says:
    Thu, 9th Jul 20096:37 am 

    I don't mind coming off as bitchy, I just say a flat out no.

    And then if they persist, I say I have a bf.

    I've gotten the He doesn't have to know routine too, at which point, I do the bitch face, and turn my back (usually to a friend…or escape to the bathroom).

  6. Mystery says:
    Thu, 9th Jul 20096:47 am 

    Girls just use the rejection hotline (rejectionhotline.com). I used it when a buxom young thing was throwing a bit too many IOIs my way last night at the club with Matador.

  7. Caey says:
    Thu, 9th Jul 20099:15 am 

    Sam, I'm the same way. And I get that response ALL. THE. TIME! I always say "and that's why I would never give you my number" Then he makes a huge scene calling me a bitch and a slut. Ugh. I seriously hate douche bags. I'm the bitch because I happen to be faithful?!

    But yesterday actually, I had a guy yell to me as I was walking to work "Hey! You gotta boyfriend!?" I nodded and he said "Man, he's lucky!" with a sad face. Why can't more guys be like this?

  8. anonymn says:
    Thu, 9th Jul 20091:25 pm 

    if he doesnt get it just yank his pants down and run away

  9. Courtney says:
    Thu, 9th Jul 20097:46 pm 

    I read this trick in a magazine once and have successfully used it on a few occasions: Ask for his number instead (and actually put it in your phone). Then you don't get a persistent puppy but you also help him save face in front of his friends. It does take courage… and bonus: you don't have to call him!

  10. Casey says:
    Fri, 10th Jul 20095:23 am 

    Courtney, I've tried that approach. The guy asked me to call him right there so he would have my number in his phone. I had no rebuttal for that and he ended up with my number. And then called me relentlessly for three weeks. :(

  11. Brittney says:
    Sat, 11th Jul 20097:17 pm 

    Someone should write an article on how to get those guys that keep calling you to leave you alone…

  12. Taylor says:
    Sun, 12th Jul 20099:21 am 

    If a guy asks me for my number and I'm not interested in him I divert his request and ask if i can get his number instead. That way 1) I'm not being a total bitch 2) It doesn't leave him with that much of a bruised ego and 3) It gives me an easy exit!

    If you're interested give your number, if not take theirs instead :)

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