No More Baby Daddies?

By Marisa

Gentlemen, take a deep breath. You might not be too happy about the latest news from the science world.

Scientists have, for the first time, successfully created human sperm from stem cells. No, the sperm don’t have the face of Woody Allen and his awkward sense of humor; they have all the characteristics of naturally produced sperm, from the head to the tail. Although “functional tests” have yet to be conducted to see if sperm generated from stem cells can fertilize an egg (shot-not on being the testee! Tee hee…), the new breakthrough has been causing quite a stir – and some anxiety for the male population.

The sperm will be used to study male infertility, but there exists an underlying worry about the viability of “petri dish” babies and the possibility that men will no longer be necessary for human reproduction. While researchers involved in the study are quickly dismissing those ideas in something of a damage control media blitz, this development certainly opens the door to consideration.

So, what would the world be like if we didn’t need men? Certainly, we women would be less annoyed on a daily basis. No more fighting over the remote, no more waiting for him to call…wait a sec! Does this mean we wouldn’t have to wear make-up anymore? Can I kiss my razor goodbye? Hey, I’m kinda liking this alternative world!

Oh, relax, guys. Fortunately for you, scientists have only been able to create artificial sperm from male stem cells. You have nothing to worry about…yet. But if they figure out a way to make functional sperm with female stem cells, then we’ll have to revisit this topic of discussion. That’s when you’ll have to be afraid. And be afraid, boys. Be very afraid. (Mostly of women sans makeup or smooth, hairless legs…)