Sex Education 201: The Stuff You Really Wanna Know


Back in the 9th grade when I was forced to take Sex Ed from a 79 year old man with arthritic fingers (OMG they were all crooked and gross and I stared at my notebook for the duration of the class so I didn’t regurgitate my lunch), I took it for granted. I wasn’t having any sex (thanks to my poodle bangs), so I didn’t really pay attention to the wisdom that was  being imparted on me. Not that the information was very helpful anyway. Sure, I learned how to use a condom by rolling it onto a banana (which, looking back, was a very unrealistic guide in both size and shape) and figured out how my ovaries worked, but what about the real stuff?

After a recent debacle involving a leg cramp/involuntary spasm while on top during sex, I realized that I have a lot to learn. And not things like “279 ways to please your man” like Cosmo provides, but real tips, tricks and strategies for sex.

Basically, sex education for adults.
A required course for all college students.

I think a lot of people could benefit from a class like this (namely the guy that thought jack-hammering me was a good idea) with topics covering anything and everything you would need to know about doin’ it.

Here are just a few topics I’d like to see on the syllabus:

Manual Stimulation For Him: Deeper does not mean better.
Manual Stimulation for Her: Mastering the art he’s been perfecting since he was 12.
Oral Sex for Him: It’s Not a Chew Toy/Understanding The Mysterious Box
Oral Sex for Her: Wetter is better
Ride Him Like a Pony: Tips and tricks for turning him on…and keeping it in.
Road Trip: How to get it on anywhere, from the beach to the stacks.
The Fetish: Sharing your fantasies without looking like a creepster
Under The Table: The art of secret stimulation
On The Move: Changing things up without losing momentum
Dealing With Adversity: Queefs, leaks, and other unfortunate mishaps

If I have to take 2 math classes, at least let me have something useful.



  1. Carrie says:

    There is sex-ed for adults! See here:

  2. Vanessa says:

    I would take that!

  3. shari says:

    genius idea! i love it! i'd love to be a TA in any of those classes!

  4. CityTrader says:

    Put it in her butt: the art of non-chalant anal sex.

  5. TIna says:

    I give up on men. I have a "Pet" TickleMe Plant in my dorm and that is all I need. It's a real plant that MOVES when you Tickle It! It reacts more to affection then any guy I have met.

    The leaves close and even the branches droop when Tickled.

    I found the TickleMe Plant Greenhouse to grow it in at Trade your man for a TickleMe Plant.

    It won't disappoint and they even guarantee it will MOVE when Tickled! How cool is that!

  6. Joe the Drunk says:

    why pay for tuition when i can give you classes for free? of course, my class is very "hands-on" and involves much role-playing and class participation. I will need you to "teach" me a few things as well

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  10. Molly says:

    Too bad the syllabus assumes that only females need to learn to "manually stimulate" males and vice versa.

    One would hope that, at the very least, birth control and STI prevention would be covered, even if you're going to be completely hetero-normative about the material.

    I think most of these topics would be much better taught by yourself and your partner. Learn to touch yourselves and then tell each other what you like. There is no one blowjob technique that's going to work on every guy, and assuming that everybody likes the same kinds of sex takes us back to Cosmo, boys and girls.

  11. cLevo says:

    I agree with Molly. No girl is ever the same no matter what. Some like it nice and slow, some like it harder then a death metal concert on LCD (which can be scary, I actually had to stop once and tell her to chill out or we can't do this, it was demonic scary, lol).

    My "second" girl I was with was older then I was by about 5 years and she told me the most important thing I've learned. NEVER be afraid to ask how your women likes it and what she likes if you really care about satisfying her. I know most guys act all tough and say "too bad, I got mine…it's not my fault she didn't get hers." Well fella's IT IS YOUR FAULT! You have the dick, you aren't working it right and when she leaves your ass don't be upset and as well that type of attitude normally means you are like that in other aspects of the relationship as well. Basically, it's why you are single.

    It goes for girls too. Don't think just because we are men, we get off and we enjoy it everytime. Yea….we will get off if you are bent in a pretzel hanging from the ceiling as long as we can get to you, but that's not the point of sex, for me anyways. I like to have fun, try new things, go all night (not just a hit it and quit it 5 minute thing and bounce). Especially when girls get on top…ask your man if he is ok, or if he feels something might BREAK! lmfao. In all seriousness, some girls get so into their orgasm that they don't realize that it's so painful for us that we'd rather be at the dr. getting rabies shots.

    All in all it's about asking, communicating and having fun….class dismissed.

    PS-This is kind of fun. Most of this site is girls saying what they think they know. It's like a real life chance for me to reply to cosmo :)

  12. Catherine says:

    I like using super glue as lube. Is there anything wrong with this?

  13. Ashley says:

    At my college we actually have a class like this. It's called Human Sexuality and the main textbook is the most useful and all encompassing book about sex ever written. It's called The Guide to Getting It On by Paul Joannides and it's only like $20 online. You can get it at

    It's got chapters on anything you will ever want to know about anything to do with sex. It talks about masturbation, orgasms, oral sex, sex, your first time, gay sex, anal sex, role playing, different piercings, birth control options, having sex when your pregnant, how to talk about sex with your kids, having sex on the road, and just about anything else you can think of. Seriously, it's like 1000 pages and has like 70+ chapters. It's a book you will want to buy, keep, and reference your entire life!

  14. Floeticafriquen says:

    Clevo,me n u need to hook up! First time ive come across a dude admitting that they dont know everything and that a chik's input is needed every now n then….bravo…ur a real man

  15. ryan says:

    we have the guy's side of "adult" sex ed covered here:

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