Remember when you were 13 and everything seemed like the biggest deal ever and “OMG you are going to die because life is just so bad”? Oh, and you were wearing giant bell bottom jeans and a shirt with a condom pocket on the sleeve? Yeah, those were the days.
Don’t you wish you could hop into a DeLorean and go back and give that girl some (fashion) advice? Maybe a little nugget of wisdom to make those angsty teenage years just a little less angsty? Unfortch, we can’t go back there (or maybe it’s a good thing – I don’t like looking at pictures of myself with that perm, so interacting with it in person would be devastating), but if you could, what would you say?
This week I asked the CollegeCandy team to share their life lessons with their younger selves.
What wisdom would you impart?
Sarabeth – University of Texas: Save yourself a lot of trouble and stop hanging out with all the guys and try putting on some lip gloss before you get to high school. Maybe then you will get an actual date to winter formals, prom, etc., instead of gay men. Kthxbye.
Vivian – Rutgers University: Yeah, you know those boobs mommy promised would come in eventually? You can stop waiting – they aren’t coming.
K – GW: Dear awkward 13 (cough 16) year-old-self, piling on the Clinique and trying to fit in is hopeless and unsatisfying. Just be yourself and happiness will find you.
Maddie – Tufts: Never shave in between your eyebrows (I know, embarrassing…). Have someone show you how to use a tweezer.
Kathryn – University of Wisconsin-Madison: It’s OK to not know what you want to do with your life. Hell, I’m a college graduate and I still have no clue!
Brithny- Duke: 2 AM is the worst time to make mistakes. And, BTW, overalls with a rainbow turtleneck is not a good look for anyone. ANYONE.
Kari- Florida State: Don’t ever text him more than twice if he doesn’t text you back! Seriously. Put down the phone…
Melanie Danko: Dear Melanie (yenior year of high school) on St. Patty’s Day,
Don’t drink the Bacardi 151. Just. Don’t.
Love,
Future Melanie
Teresa – UC San Diego: MEN ARE JERKS. Be careful with your heart. Also, never wear velour stirrup pants again.
Cristina – Michigan State University: “F**k Bitches, Get money” No seriously, be careful what girls you trust, and save your money.
Lauren H – The New School: He is not as amazing as you think he is; that’s why he has the confederate flag tattooed on his stomach.
Lena Chen – Harvard: All-pink business ensembles are an internship NO!
Kiki – University of Missouri: Smile more. Do not pour your teenage-heart out via cryptic Xanga posts ridden with Fall Out Boy lyrics. And, for the love of 80’s rock stars everywhere, lay off the Wet ‘n Wild eyeliner.
Carly – Grinnell: CHILL OUT! Nothing that you think is the end of the world actually is.
Elizabeth-University of Missouri: Hair grows, braces eventually come off and baby fat does disappear. Oh, and overalls are always a bad decision. Ditto with scrunchies.
Vanessa – Sheridan College: They’re not lying, high school really will fly by.
jeff says:
Fri, 10th Jul 20094:19 pm
lose the rat tail it never was cool specialy on the side instead of the middle of the back of the head all tho girls will dig it shortly after the relise of star wars episode one
Dani says:
Fri, 10th Jul 20094:34 pm
lol at the velour stirrup pants
also: it’s okay not to shop at Abercrombie, having your own style is way more attractive.
Jenny says:
Fri, 10th Jul 20097:05 pm
Dear younger me,
Wear your damn rubber bands for your braces, or you won’t get them off until you’re 17. Also, get over that hopeless romantic crap. You will end up with a crazy, hilarious, geeky dude that is not very romantic, and you’ll end up liking it.
Love, your future self
Jade says:
Fri, 10th Jul 200911:37 pm
Dear young Jade,
Jade says:
Fri, 10th Jul 200911:38 pm
Take off the mass amounts of eyeliner.
Love, Jade
Mufasa says:
Sat, 11th Jul 20096:49 am
Dear Zebra,
Please take a bath and wash those dirty marks off your belly. K? Thanks!
Chelzz says:
Sat, 11th Jul 20092:29 pm
Dear sweet, young, clumsy, Chelseigh Lee,
Everyone does NOT care about you. Stop thinking everyone should be your friend and be nice to you. And feeling at the bottom world when they don’t and it’s not your fault.
Jeez that would have saved SO MUCH heartache and confusion.
T says:
Sat, 11th Jul 200911:48 pm
Dear younger self,
Please buy a better flatiron and invest in a better conditioner. Oh…and moving 600 miles away at the start of highschool will be the best thing that ever happened to u…dry ur tears =)
Kristina says:
Sun, 12th Jul 20099:24 pm
Dear 13-year-old me-
Wake up- he’s gay. So is he. And him. Oh, and that other one. Pick a straight guy to crush on- it might end slightly better. Also, do something about that hair!
-Your future self
Elle says:
Sun, 12th Jul 20099:38 pm
Dear little Elle,
Do not ditch classes that you’re good at. It makes you look dumb. Just don’t ditch ever, it will screw up your GPA and people will think you have a learning disorder. You’ll lose your scholarship, and guess what, you could’ve graduated a year early if you only went to your AP classes.
Please stay away from that water polo guy that was your best friend, he will try to make you a coke addict… and your parents really do want the best for you so stop being a brat. Be nicer to boys, you passed up on some good ones. Oh, and that thing called your virginity….you might have wanted to save that one for someone that wasn’t in a relationship with another girl, no matter how hot he was, or drunk you were.
Best wishes!
The older, not so dumb, you.
Molly says:
Mon, 13th Jul 20096:40 pm
Dear younger me:
You will make mistakes. A LOT of them. It is not however the end of the world, so stop taking everything so seriously. Oh and for the love of little apples, actually TRY in class. It’s amazing how handy not having to retake two years worth of classes will be (.. would have been..) once you get to college.
Love,
Older and yes wiser Molly.
K says:
Wed, 15th Jul 200911:59 am
what a good weigh in!
Melanie - Northeastern University says:
Sun, 19th Jul 20092:40 pm
Editing note? Can we drop my last name from this post, and also, I’m pretty sure I wrote “senior” year… Thanks!
Margaret says:
Mon, 20th Jul 20092:51 am
Dear Middle School and Teenage Maggie,
-Wear an underwire bra. It will make those big new boobs of yours look way better, I promise.
-Don’t wait until your freshman year of high school to shave your legs. They’re fuzzy enough now. SHAVE YOUR LEGS.
-Your mother is right. Those black platform sandals are hideous.
-There is nothing wrong with your lovely big boobs, no matter what your mother says. That said, get some good bras and start wearing clothes that work with them, not against them.
-Bright pink blush and lipstick is not a good look.
-Grow your hair long now. Don’t wait til college. You have beautiful thick hair and there is nothing wrong with it. Grow it out. The bob is too old for you.
-Your hair is curly. Ringlets curly. Rock it. Quit trying to make it something it isn’t.
-A little more effort in school, missy! Just because you find it easy to get good grades doesn’t mean it’s not worth the effort to try a little harder.
-Don’t wait until age 15 to start working out. Exercise is good! It will make you look and feel better, I promise!
-You are not fat. You are actually quite petite and you will realize this when you hit high school and find that everyone else has finally grown up, too- and a lot of them are taller and bigger than you.
-The swim team will be one of the best things to happen to you.
-You are extremely pretty. So pretty that you, too, are allowed to buy trendy clothes from trendy shops! So stop letting your mother order Land’s End for you!
-Don’t go along with that girl who pretends to be your friend. She’s full of shit and you know it and it’s not worth avoiding drama going along with it because it will make you miserable.
-Your classmates are a lot nicer than you think they are. Just because some of them are assholes doesn’t mean they all are.
-Come out of your shell. You are a fun, vibrant, interesting person underneath that superior-melancholy cover you put on to protect your feelings.
-You’re just as cute as those other girls.
-You’re as good as everyone else. Drop the inferiority complex.
-You will escape South Jersey. I promise. You will go on to do amazing things with your life. Of everyone you know, you will be one of the few to make your dreams come true. At 21, you are the person you wanted to be at 16- only better.
Love,
Future You
valkyrie9 says:
Sat, 25th Jul 20094:34 am
-Nice is different from good.
-If people are telling you you’re stalking or being too obsessive about a guy, you probably are. Yes, even your best friend who also has a crush on him and hasn’t made a move.
-Learn how to work hard in a class even if you don’t want to. If you don’t, it will come back to bite you in the ass in the college, when rather than completely useless class, it’s a class you are somewhat interested in but just don’t feel like working at right now.
-Don’t pour your soul out on your Xanga – or anywhere on the Internet, really.
-Your real life friends really are truer than your Internet friends. They may not share your interest in discussing which is the best Who album, but they will be there for you when your interests and opinions change – when your online friends might not.
-If your friends are telling you a guy is backstabbing you, don’t demand proof or reasoning. Listen to them. They’re friends for a reason.
-You ARE ahead of the curve for considering shared interests, talent, and intelligence in a guy instead of just being “he’s cute! let’s date!” However, you’re also BEHIND the curve for overlooking such toxic qualities as cruelty, two-facedness, and massive ego.
-The fact that other girls think a guy is charming does not mean he isn’t still a dirtbag.
-Taking care of yourself is not the same as changing how you look to fit in with the popular girls.
-Even when they attempt fake concern, people who send you e-mails describing in detail how everyone hates you are still assholes who are not worth your time. Even if there’s a grain of truth in the fact that your social skills are not the best and need improving. NO ONE deserves to hear that “everyone hates them.”
-People who critique your romantic relationships and/or lack thereof are likely insecure with their own.
-Obey word limits on IB assessments.
-Sleep is good. Get more of it. Especially before IB tests on which you’re hoping to get a 7.
-Buy some feminist books and read up.
Stephanie says:
Sun, 2nd Aug 20093:49 am
Dear younger me,
keep the honda learn to drive stick and stop being difficult! you’ll save more money and move out faster!
start an exercise routine already, you have plenty of time and will enjoy High school more!
Love
your older skinnier and broke self! =]
Liselle says:
Tue, 1st Sep 20091:00 am
Dear younger me,
If he looks gay, talks gay, and acts gay, he probably is. Don’t waste a year and a half of your life convincing yourself otherwise. Also, emo phase, not cute AT ALL. Skip it.
Maria says:
Sun, 6th Sep 20097:28 pm
Younger me. Start hating everyone earlier.
Do NOT switch elementary schools in the 4th grade. You will be insecure for the rest of your life after learning that people can be mean for no reason.
Stop being nice. Enough said.
Stop letting your mother dress you in dork clothes. You will be made insecure for years from the teasing you get after you switch schools.
Do not learn eyeliner from the goth friend.
If a boy is more emotional then the stupid girl who screams shut up I’m PMSing for everything, dump him. DUMP HIM HARD.
If he keeps acting like a perv no matter what you say, DUMP HIM.
Go to the principle the first time a girl gang sets you in their sites, get parents to buy a recorder. Commence with legal action. Karma will then be in effect on them FOREVER.
Be careful being friends with an anime group-be selective, some can be freaking CRAZY.
When a chick backstabs you who is pathetic, tell her so rather than being mad. Because you know her life is miserable, especially when she’s the pot calling the freaking TEA POT, NOT the kettle, black.
You should have nagged at an earlier age at your parents for sports, rather than being sad in elementary school being the only kid not to have a trophy. Or a pony. Sports are better than ponies.
Should have told mother about papa making you sad all the time telling you how much his life sucked into making you guilty whenever you didn’t appreciate school life because of things like never being called a Nip. Your school life was and will be worse.
Fuck your father, should have told mother that he said you would never be able to learn an instrument. 10 years old is not too old to learn to the point of “good enough” for violin/piano/flute/drums/guitar.
Cut your hair short earlier, and dye it w/e color you want on a lock or two. Mom won’t mind and it’s a big self-confidence boost for some reason.
When you lean backwards in gym class onto a hand because the ground is so hard it hurts your butt, Tim is there. Do not be extremely embarrassed to the point of never talking to him again because of touching his butt. I dun think he really minded. It’s just a butt. Get over it. You will see many of these and more in a few years.
When in Ventura with your boyfriend and he doesn’t defend you when two 50 something fat men start talking to him saying it’s not your fault you’re a skank wearing a tube top and a terry cloth mini skirt over your swim suit because of the short notice beach trip–you should have verbally ripped the men to shreads. And your boyfriend. The line of shops was a 5 min drive from the beach you were at for crying out loud!
Don’t take all those classes in high school for college, after that art class in 10th grade, you realize it’s not worth it taking classes that you hate and it’s time to take classes that you want to do forever.
Little me, convince mother to take you to charm school lessons, I dun have them now, but you wish you do, your social skills are waaaaaaaaay stunted after having only school wide hazing and shunning from 4th to 10th. Man, I need to work on my interview babbling.
That’s all I can think of for now younger me. Now don’t take shit from nobody! Your self-esteem shall thank you.
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