Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: Get Ready, People!

As an outrageously obsessed a huge Harry Potter fan, I’m beyond pumped for the release of the sixth movie on WEDNESDAY!!! To prepare for this, the most glorious day of July, I’ve created a list of things to do before feasting my eyes on HarPot&HaBloPri (my cool new abbreviation for the movie. You like?). So if you’re a hip Harry Potter lover like me, your Tuesday should look a little something like this:

- Finish making S.P.E.W. buttons to hand out at movie theater

- Buy a new wand – mahogany, 14 inches, essence of unicorn hair, please

- Play as Ravenclaw Seeker in Quidditch match against Slytherin

- Get arms, left leg, spleen looked at (note to self: brooms can’t really fly, and kickball Bludgers can hurt like a bitch).

- Tell off that idiot on the Harry Potter forum who thinks that Cornelius Fudge was a competent Minister of Magic because, seriously, xoRonLuvr592 has no effing clue what she’s talking about

- Listen to Harry and the Potters and The Remus Lupins.

- Potter Puppet Pals reenactment! Snape, Snape, Se-ver-us Snape!

- Buy some chocolate frogs, Droobles Best Blowing Gum, Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans, pumpkin pasties, and butterbeer to smuggle into the movie.

- Perfect maniacal laugh to complement Bellatrix Lestrange costume.

- Hold memorial service for Sirius Black.

- Two Minutes Hate for Voldemort Wait, wrong book.

- Call Post Office to see if they’ve found the Hogwarts acceptance letter that got lost in the mail seven years ago.

- Set up tent outside movie theater at 6 p.m. to ensure getting best seats at midnight showing.

- Find new friends, because the ones I got will definitely dump me after realizing what a Harry Potter dweeb I am.