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The Morning After: Socially Inept
July 12, 2009 Posted in HaHa
[One of the greatest aspects of college life is the morning-after recap with friends. You stumble out of bed, grab your liquid of choice, and gather around the living room to replay (and remind yourself of) the events of last night. You laugh, you cringe and you share the highest of highs...and the rock-bottom lowest of lows. We thought we'd bring the fun of the recap to CollegeCandy, so grab that coffee and take part in the deliciously awkward moments your CC friends have to share.]
I was out at a classy lounge the other night (I can legit say this now that I have entered legality), when a nice young gentleman started to make passes at me. Like any normal girl, I was wary of speaking to a stranger with a receding hairline but, thanks to a slightly humorous opener, I kept talking to him long enough to find out that he was an attorney. I practically humped his leg like an excited dog. And not because I’m a gold digger who thinks that an attorney can buy her lots of Gucci and Botox.
It’s because for the last three months I have been cooped up in my room under a hot desk lamp studying non-stop for the LSAT. And in my “drunken haze” (I had one beer, which got me tipsy…what? I’ve been studying!) it seemed that there was nothing more exciting than finding someone who had also studied for the LSAT.
Yup, that’s right – my life had been reduced to excitement over someone having filled out similar bubbles on a similar standardized test.
I gushed about how much I had been studying, and asked him for tips on logic games. I even whipped out my book (yes, I had it with me…) to open it up to a problem I had been having difficulty with. Maybe not so eager to play teacher (unless I was in a naughty schoolgirl uniform), Attorney Man stopped me mid sentence.
“Hey, you don’t socially interact much, do you?” Then he turned and walked away… without buying me that drink he had been so eager to get me before.
And there I was, standing alone at the bar. Just me and my LSAT text book.
I learned my lesson that night fo sho. Not to say that intelligence isn’t sexy, but I think we can all agree that as a rule of thumb that logic games are not a good way to mack on strangers. When it comes to flirting, the first step is to leave the books at home. Or at least tucked away in your trendy oversized hobo bag where no one can see.
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criolle johnny says:
Sun, 12th Jul 20098:22 am
He wanted to jump your bones and you wanted to TALK (?!).
You're a heck of a lot better off without that one.
Liam says:
Sun, 12th Jul 20091:25 pm
Good! He sounds like all he wanted was some hot, young ass. That book saved you from an std that night! Don't feel bad, there are plenty of guys YOUR age who wouldn't mind being your study buddy AND buying you a drink!
Bethany Jane says:
Sun, 12th Jul 20091:31 pm
I'm with them, haha.
k says:
Sun, 12th Jul 20095:37 pm
hahahahaha!
sara says:
Mon, 13th Jul 20095:50 pm
That IS really socially awkward… but I can totally say I would have done the same thing.
john says:
Tue, 14th Jul 20099:59 am
this is a typical drunk story that happens very often and makes people realize how much stupid things you do when u are drunk
oobunillaoo says:
Thu, 23rd Jul 20097:23 am
1 – the moment he thought he couldn't get in your panties, he critisized you for being intelligent.
2 – his ego was bruised by a younger woman who wants to do something with her life besides trawl bars and put out for the next decade.
3 – "to thine own self be true." i've taken books to club nights where i've had a gig, and read them right in front of people while waiting to go on. never had any problem attracting members of the opposite sex, and found many of the ones i dated to have similar interests / mental capabilities because i didn't feel the need to hide my interest in things. it may be awkward to some, yes, but it's also awkward to "a majority of people" when a single woman is seen dining out on her own. people pity the woman with the confidence to take a study book out with her, the woman who desires a peaceful meal in the company of simply herself, the woman who has aspirations different to "a majority of females"…
4 – so glad you pulled the book out – saved yourself. hopefully the man will get some hairplugs, and refamiliarise himself with the written word before he tries to chat up, and/or attempt to belittle another young ambitious woman.
Intelligent Man says:
Sat, 1st Aug 20093:23 pm
You may have to look for intelligent men and put your physical impulses on hold. Those tell you to look for power, and may not get you anything lasting. But if you want to be stupid, you'll always find men. Women have the advantage no matter what, but you can improve your life by reaching out.
R says:
Wed, 23rd Sep 200911:12 am
No – he only walked away because he lied about being an attorney to get into your pants. He didn't want to look like an idiot when he had no idea what you were talking about. If he was really an attorney and not a douchebag, he would have used that for an excuse to ask for a date – aka "Maybe we could get together and I could give you a few pointers sometime." What a loser.