Comments on: I’m Torn: Boy Best Friends

By: pryce

pryce — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:41:13 +0000

I believe that other girls can be platonic friends with boys, but I think it’s an impossibility for me personally. I’m too much like the stereotypical boy in the situation…if he’s cute, I want to hook up with him.

Not that I haven’t had my share of oblivious moments. I was once friends with a guy who I never considered as a potential hookup, despite my friends telling me that he was among the best looking boys on campus and the fact that we always seemed to end up hanging out and talking at the end of parties. I claimed I “just didn’t see him that way.” But when he made a move on me after him and his long distance girlfriend broke up, my curiosity won out.

Why not just go for it? Once the guy tries to make out with you the idea of a platonic friendship is already out the window.

By: The Weekly Wrap Up: Let’s Get Magical : College Candy

The Weekly Wrap Up: Let’s Get Magical : College Candy — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 21:32:37 +0000

[...] I should just give up sex entirely and take a platonic guy bestie. Then I can use him as a wing man/drink server. You never know when a guy friend can turn into [...]

By: bunny

bunny — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 23:55:23 +0000

Girls tend to ask me advice on platonic relationships since I have never been a girls girl and in a long term relationship where all i see is men (pretty much). I’m a good few years younger than them (i’m 19, my fiancee is 23, everyone else is older) and i’ll just come out with it, some people do consider me attractive (light olive skin, 5′4″, under 100lbs, 30-24-32, gamer girl, pot smoker – i could smoke megan fox under the table – 1940-1950s mixed with anime style, blonde-no, brunette-no, blonde again hair blah blah blah you can hate on me now) and although i am friends with all of his friends, for the past 4 years or so we’ve been together I’ve been really, really close friends with my fiancee’s big brother. As I said, I’m pretty into 40s and 50s and so I’m an incredibly loyal loving girlfriend and would never cheat on my boy. Thats not to say I’ve never noticed anything other than friendly advances, and so it leads to the advice i say for anyone talking about platonic relationships: “they’re possible, but they take a bit more self control”.

By: Samantha

Samantha — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 17:59:49 +0000

“Very often, this happens at different times and one person ends up getting their heart broken. Trust me, it sucks.”

Actually, this is what saved my longest boy best friendship. He liked me, then when he was over it, I liked him, and then we both moved on to other people. This is the perfect situation for us because I know he knows we’re not good together and I know it too. Now we don’t have the awkwardness of “omg, does he like me?!” … just the hilarity of 4am phone calls to say “come ooooooooover.”

By: sara

sara — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 15:51:32 +0000

Wow, I see absolutely no problems with having guy best friends. I have a few really close ones, and there’s never been any sexual tension between us. We talk to eachother about everything including crushes or relationships or hook-ups, so its not weird.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 11:13:58 +0000

I have multiple guy friends who I’m really close to, and we’ve moved past the awkward-sexual-tension phase into the truly platonic. There’s still a problem, however: the girlfriends. Somehow, no matter how nice I am, or how close we get, or how obviously NOT into their boyfriends I am, the girlfriends of my guy friends tend to be jealous or uncomfortable with how close I am to their boyfriends. And if it’s not me, it’s one of the guy’s other female friends. And it’s definitely an understandable concern, seeing your guy spending all this time with another girl, and divulging secrets that he may feel too uncomfortable or embarrassed to tell his girlfriend. Although, this may not be such a concern if I had a boyfriend of my own.

But the bottom line is, there are going to be obstacles or issues in every relationship, platonic or not. If they’re really a good friend, it’s definitely worth the trouble.

By: anonymn

anonymn — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 08:03:24 +0000

this is by far the dumbest thing ive read today

By: Jaime

Jaime — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 03:56:59 +0000

Wellllll, the thing with all the people spouting off on how guys and girls can never be friends is it totally heterocentric…It always comes down to people saying you can’t have a friendship if either one of you has ever even thought of having sex with the other (Harry’s point in ‘When Harry Met Sally,’ occasionally less extreme in other people’s arguments against opposite sex friendships). The main problem I have with this is by implication it makes it impossible for bisexual people to have any friends, really, and seems to also doubt the viability of friendship between two lesbians or gay men. If the mere possibility of sexual interest made friendship impossible…what a lonely world I’d live in.

Second axe to grind, even should friends have sex, sex isn’t the end of a friendship, you can have it without turning into bad rom com stereotypes.

As for romantic interest – well, similar points re:sex, actually. You deal with it, if it happens. Besides, having a crush is a passing thing, you won’t die, you don’t have to date just because you have one. Again with the rom coms messing with people’s expectations.

By: Jamieee

Jamieee — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 02:50:35 +0000

My best friend John and I have been friends since we were in the 7th grade [we're juniors in college now]. We dated junior year of high school and went even as far as to say “i love you.” Our breakup was helarious, the best one ever. We were playing madden at his house, he looked at me and said “do you love me anymore?” i replied “i love you. but i’m not in love with you” and that was it…..we’ve been best friends ever since. He and my fiance get along perfectly and i run to him for almost everything.

And yes. Bringing up tampons does freak him out, and my period is a way out of every single sport that i didnt want to get out.

By: girl

girl — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 01:17:49 +0000

Guy friends are wayyyyyy more worth having.
I keep my old HS and below girlfriends, but most girls at my college are not worth the drama/stupidity.

Guys all the way. Plus, more video game time!