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Why You Should…Not Have Sex
There’s a great many things to do and places to see in this world of ours. As humans, our lives are pretty short (and if you party like I do, it’s probably going to be even shorter). So we have to prioritize! We have brains for a reason and that reason is…reasoning (well, at least some of us use them for that purpose: see comment about partying above). Let me be your voice of reason as I show you all the things you should be doing right here, right now.
Sex sells and nobody knows that better than our generation. We watch hours upon hours of gossip and celebrity news for the latest update on who’s bonking who. We twitter about the Walk of Shame. We scour Facebook for photos of last night’s hook-up. We strut our stuff at the bar/parties/anywhere social, stalk some prey, and make the kill. Then we share all the details with our friends over Bloody Marys and Sunday brunch.
As much as it pains it to say this, maybe we should…stop. Seriously. I was skeptical at first, but after some good ‘ole internet research I might have to have a little chat with my boyfriend (just kidding…maybe).
- Less Drama: Yes, all relationships have drama, regardless of any sexual component. However, I’ve noticed that the drama usually increases when people get naked. Suddenly, your partner’s past becomes much more important and you become extra attached…and why wouldn’t you? You just exchanged bodily fluids. No sex = less drama.
- Freedom: Sex usually involves some preparation, such as spending mucho time in the bathroom shaving, exfoliating, moisturizing, plucking, etc. and picking out matching underwear sets (unless you’re in a long term relationship, in which case most of those go out the window). Nix the sex and feel the freedom! Shave only if you want to, wear mismatched underwear, and let the stray hairs roam for a couple more days. Ahhh…let freedom ring.
- Control: I can’t count the number of tragic Sundays I have spent recovering from the night before and debating whether I should call first or wait for Mr. Right Now to call. Sex can complicate relationships and make you feel like you’ve lost control of the situation. Hell, that’s the theme of most of the episodes of Sex and the City. Why not cut out sex, clear your head and stay in control?
- Less Mess: Bodily fluids, condoms, hair…once you think about it, sex can be kind of disgusting. Without sex, you won’t need to worry about getting the horrible smell of latex and sweat out of your bedroom. Also, chances of finding a pesky condom wrappy hiding under your bed at inopportune moments will decrease dramatically (let’s hope).
- More Time: All the time you spend sweatin’ it up in the sack with your partner can be used for studying, exercising, socializing with friends, or just relaxing on a beach somewhere. Just think of how many times sex has gotten in the way of your Medieval Art History homework…
- No babies/STDs: Without a sex life, it’s pretty much guaranteed that you won’t have that scary moment when you frantically calculate the days between your last period and right now and realize that something might be off. Also, unless you spend a lot of time rubbing yourself all over public toilets, you’ll be STD free!
- Masturbation = Win: Most of the benefits you receive from sex can be replicated with masturbation. Also, you will develop a deeper understanding of yourself and how you experience pleasure. When you finally start having sex again (whenever that might be), you’ll know exactly what you want and hopefully, how to communicate that to your partner.
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Dude who like giving says:
Mon, 13th Jul 20099:58 am
Your not doing it right
anonymn says:
Mon, 13th Jul 200911:09 am
This message brought to you by the National Abstinence Foundation
Sam says:
Mon, 13th Jul 200912:53 pm
I guess it sounds nice in theory… but yeah I think I'll keep on having sex.
Star says:
Mon, 13th Jul 20091:07 pm
I think mostly this article is just humorous, but I like the points it makes. What bothers me is that people on this site see an article about sex, and every other comment yells about how people shouldn't be sleeping around and being "slutty".
Then an article about not having sex (or cutting down on it) pops up, and I'm sure the comments will soon be full of people whining about how stupid that is.
Ryu says:
Mon, 13th Jul 20092:00 pm
Lol. I love how all of the benefits listed I see as drawbacks. Here, let me explain:
- Less Drama: Drama is what makes relationships great. So is attachment (which seems to be what this is talking about.
- Freedom: Love the preparation. Makes me even more excited.
- Control: The answer to this is not not having sex. It's not having one night stands, which is entirely different.
- Less Mess: I agree about the condom wrapper. But, um, the smell of sex afterward is actually kind of great. I love it.
- More Time: Cause you know, what we all need is more time. Sex is probably the most fun way to spend time. xD
- No babies/STDs: Hmm. I agree. Unless…. you use condoms. And have Plan B sitting around.
- Masturbation = Win: I agree! But wait… what does this have to do with sex? xD
S says:
Mon, 13th Jul 20092:10 pm
good luck telling that to Fast Gratification Generation.
krystal says:
Mon, 13th Jul 20095:05 pm
After having an std scare I swore off sex indefinitely, pretty much. It's hard (especially after going from 6 times a month to none) but it gets easier. It's not that hard to stay abstinent (this coming from an athiest btw)
Stephaniee says:
Mon, 13th Jul 20098:28 pm
I stopped having sex a month ago. After all the douchbags I screwed..I'm waiting for a guy whose REALLY REALLY REALLY worth it. I expect it to be a while.
Star says:
Mon, 13th Jul 200911:13 pm
I hope you find someone wonderful, Stephanie. I'm sure he's out there and I'm glad you have enough self-esteem to find him
Ryu: You make some good points, but drama is not what makes a relationship good. People get addicted to the drama, but that's a bad thing. Also, having a stash of Plan B is also bad. Taking it if you need it is good, but it has serious side effects and should be used in emergencies, not as a birth control.
I agree with some of your other points though, especially about control being more of a one night stand issue than in a relationship.
Joe the Drunk says:
Tue, 14th Jul 20098:11 am
Stephanie,
Would you like to screw one more douchebag? Please?
Karlos says:
Wed, 15th Jul 200912:32 am
@ Stephanie..
care to explain why this "perfect" guy would want to date your STD ridden ass after about a hundred different guys have been inside you? ugh.
It disgusts me to be a part of this "Fast Gratification Generation", you are all animals.
@ Krystal.. nice to see at least one person here has a molecule of grey matter which is used for reasoning. You're all pathetic.
Stephanie says:
Thu, 16th Jul 20098:02 am
Karlos, I've dated some losers, so now I won't have sex until I meet the right guy. Does my having slept with my past few boyfriends imply that I've slept with one hundred different guys? Does that imply that I don't double protect myself so I must have STD's? Did I say I'm looking for a perfect guy? Nope, I said I'm waiting for the guy worth me. I have no STD's, nor have I slept with nearly that preposterous number of men you wrote there. Excuse me for abstaining. Go masturbate now, please…relieve some of that anger you have for this "animalistic generation".
Kat says:
Mon, 20th Jul 200910:30 pm
I think that we should all be nice to each other!
On that note, I'm going to cast my vote:
sex is awesome (especially the safe, gratifying and mutually pleasurable kind)
Jen says:
Tue, 21st Jul 20099:59 pm
"Most of the benefits you receive from sex can be replicated with masturbation. "
:O
No. Just no.
Having sex with my boyfriend is basically the greatest thing ever. My homework eats dozens of hours every week. I don't want to give it even MORE time by passing on the most pleasurable break I can possibly take from it.
And I would be matching my underwear and shaving every day whether or not I was having sex…I did for six years before I started.
The best part has got to be the aversion to sex leading to your taking an interest in your partner and his/her past. OH HEAVENS NO!!! I certainly would not want to have multiple levels of intimacy with my partner. No, not at all.
Tonya says:
Wed, 22nd Jul 20091:51 am
Girls who have sex before marriage are sluts. Pure and simple. What the fuck is wrong with girls now? No wonder there are so many middle aged divorced moms. They shouldn't even be allowed to date anymore once they are middle age, divorced, and have kids. That should be a law.
Sean says:
Sat, 25th Jul 200912:36 am
Tonya, you're lacking too many brain cells to actually be living right now. How did you ever learn to type? Karlos, you're right there with her.
Lily says:
Sat, 8th Aug 20095:49 pm
I'm a virgin and I must admit, it is pretty much because of some of these hilarious reasons…far too much drama and getting naked with someone else just seems really weird at the moment. But I don't understand why these people think they have the right to call people "sluts" because they have sex before marriage? I don't even want to get married… why don't you live the way you think is right, and let others live theirs? Sex is only natural, who cares? If it is because of your personal religious beliefs, you have NO right to cast those judgements on others. Welcome to the 21st Century…
Juli says:
Tue, 11th Aug 20096:51 pm
I think this articles makes some very good points. I had made a decision to stay a virgin till I was married, because I wanted to give my all to my husband (and at least have some firsts with him). Although, fate had different plans for me and my option was taken from me. I am not abstinent with my current boyfriend, but after what happened before I was with him, changed a lot on how I viewed men and people, for that matter. Sex is an experience; fun, loving and just getting down and dirty, of course, otherwise we wouldn't do it. But it does complicate things at the beginning, whether or not you think so. Most Women have a tendency to "feel an attachment" with their partner after doing the "deed". Some Men may have the same feeling, but it is more likely just to have "sexual satisfaction" from the act. So in stating that, I believe it creates less drama. I think people need to realize "Sex" is a big deal regardless of who are, religion or not. It shouldn't be rushed into just because your body says "yes". Its funny how that is one thing that people like to rush, everything else is usually encouraged that you take your time.
I agree with this being "Fast Gratification Generation" comment. As for the others that had nothing but put downs seem to be misplaced on an open discussion, like this one.
tehmina ismail Ali c says:
Sun, 4th Oct 20098:44 am
i think sex with loyal boy friend is beautiful passion.I always enjoy it.but it has some problems as i got pregnant.my parents got very angry.but now i am very carefull.it is also right that after having sex i am a bit worried.i think I committed an offence.
Anonymous says:
Sun, 4th Oct 20097:01 pm
Sponsered by the church.
We control the living shit out of you.
luke fuller from hon says:
Sun, 11th Oct 20096:09 am
sex is complicated, i just finished a messy relationship and i am have experienced the attachment, the smell, and what i thought was love. we went out for 4 years before we had sex and i swore we would get married but i went off to boarding school and when i came back she had already cheated on me twise and i was dumped for a Frenchman. it fucks you up when just start to see your future togethor just to watch it dissappear a second later.
firstly: my vote is to wait until you are curtain what you have is worth giving and that person is worth giving to.
secondly: sex is a beautiful thing and if anything it can settle any arguement, because the people who are complaining just aren't getting any.
Sue says:
Sat, 24th Oct 20095:58 pm
Stephanie has control issues. Sean has a crush on Stephanie. How cute.
Sue says:
Sat, 24th Oct 20095:59 pm
Not trying to be mean, but boy are you guys immature!
Sue says:
Sat, 24th Oct 20095:59 pm
And please Stephanie, stop bragging that you fucked so many guys you lost count. Seriously, how low class. Okay, end of rant.
Sue says:
Sat, 24th Oct 20096:01 pm
Luke, shut up. you have no idea what you're saying.
Now, back to this article. I don't agree with this.
Beth says:
Sun, 10th Jan 20106:20 pm
Ok so me and this guy have been talking on and off for over a half a year and he finally asked me to be his girlfriend. I'm a sophomore in high school and he is a senior. He's had sex once and I've never had sex.. I went to a purity ball at my church 3 years in a role and I have a purity ring. I'm on birth control and all and his parents are going out of town soon and I know what's gunna happen cause it's almost happened twice already but I stopped myself cause I told myelf that I'm not gunna loose my virginity to someone I wasn't dating. I'm not very religious but I promised to god and my parents that I would stay pure till I was married and I'm scared that if I break that then no one will forgive me. but I was in 7th grade when I first went to the ball and I didn't know what it meant, if I wouldve known and wouldn't have been so young then I wouldn't have gone. I wanna loose my virginity to this guy but what if things dont work out and i regret loosing it to him. What do I do? Please help!
Allison says:
Sat, 23rd Jan 201010:11 am
Beth,
You really shouldn't have sex period. My answer has nothing to do with your religious background. The reason is that you are in high school. You are far too young to be having sex. What would you do if you got pregnant? Would you raise the child? If you do, don't expect your boyfriend to help you. Very few teenage boys stick around. You'd be on your own. Would you have an abortion? There are some terrible emotional and psychological consequences that you are likely to experience later on. Would you give the child up for adoption?
What would you do if you got an STD? Sex is a beautiful thing, but it does add a lot of complications to your life. You are only in high school. Enjoy being a kid. You should be worrying about homework, friends, getting your driver's license, and other similar stuff. You have your whole life to be an adult. Don't be in a rush to grow up too quickly.
Another thing to consider is that a lot of people regret losing their virginity too early. You can always lose your virginity, but you can never get it back. Honestly, if you have the willpower and self-control, it's best to wait until you're married. I know some people will state that you need experience to be good at sex. While the first time is going to be awkward, you can quickly become good at it as you learn more about your partner's preferences. Each person likes different things when it comes to sex; a turn-on for one guy could be a turn-off for another. You have to learn to learn your partner's turn-ons and they should do the same for you. And yes, regardless of your sexual experience, you still have to go through this learning process for each person you sleep with.
If you can't wait until marriage, then at least wait until you're out of school and have a job to support yourself. Also, make sure you are in a committed relationship!
Aden Ford says:
Thu, 25th Feb 20104:57 am
If you do want to have sex here is a good idea of how long to wait, before you try.
http://www.askaden.com/2010/02/how-long-should-i-…
alias says:
Fri, 12th Mar 20104:57 am
i have abstained now for 2 weeks and my balls are massive! just thought that was funny but seriously, i love sex and making love to my ex (who i was with for a year and a half and waited 8 months to have sex with) was an indescribable feeling. i felt though that sex was on my mind just a bit to much, its all my friends will talk about and its all i see when i turn on my computer or tv, (i blame the media a lot for young boys especially being so crazy about sex and in turn having no respect for women)but different story.. i decided to give up sex for a while and i quite enjoyed it girls seemed to want me even more lol.. but i just read a very informative article… http://www.forbes.com/2003/10/08/cz_af_1008health….
if you have the time have a read
this article here was a laugh but one persons opinion and she is welcome to it..
Personally i would love my wife to be a virgin for a few reasons but i would never not marry a woman just because she has had sex before or think any less of her.. that is very old fashioned and or religous brainwashing view that women who have sex before marriage are sluts or any less respectable.. i think its important to have sex before marriage as if your going to commit to someone for the rest of your life, you should be able to connect with them on the highly emotional level that making love takes you. plus if its not good that will be quite upsetting, so its good to know!
stephanie do your thing i respect you, karlos is a fool
carmel says:
Mon, 29th Mar 20108:55 pm
we don't have sex because it is bad.
tiffany says:
Tue, 30th Mar 20107:45 am
Time spent reading this article could be used to have sex lol! and the "freedom" paragraph i find completely biased, as a lot of females treat their bodies on a regualar basis. Sex could be cut down, yes in the media, but let's not forget it's a great way to exercise and with the right partner makes a relationship/marriage stronger.
Osbro says:
Sat, 16th Oct 20106:54 pm
Girls who have sex before marriage just look stupid and easy, show lack of self respect and self control.
Guys are looking for women that are pure to marry (guys do not want a slut for a wife).
ole says:
Sat, 10th Sep 20116:42 pm
first you dont need to have sex it isnt just pure pleasure thats what most people think sex is allso a love experince you see the media allwas drage about sex like its not about making love to the one you care but how good you are inn the bedroom the media has treated sex as a hobby treathing girls as easy targets not only that it makes girls more sluty and look weak trust me im a guy yes i think about sex but no i dont want to share with somone how wont share back with me i wanted to have sex with this girl but she was all about hanging out with cooler people i wasnt that populer guys just regaller guy but for her that wasnt good for her so you see many tennagers act as sex is great but most off them regrat that they ever did DONT lose your self to a guy how you barly know you think about it dont you want a futher thats what most dumb folks dont think