Bad Advice Men Get: Lies Women Tell
July 15, 2009 Posted in Advice, Relationships
This Week’s Article: 5 Lies All Women Tell by askmen.com.
This article’s tag line is: “If she’s said any of these things to you, she’s lying.” Starting off with a gross generalization is never a good thing, but let’s take a look at what lies the boys at AskMen think we’ve been telling. All of us. Every time we speak.
“I’m not mad at you.”
Askmen says: “Oh, yes she is. Don’t think you’re getting off that easily. This lie is one of the most frequently used in relationships. Typically, women who have been hurt by men in their lives — often inadvertently — use this phrase as an emotional defense. For example, if a guy forgets his girlfriend’s birthday, calls her by his ex’s name or commits any of the other minor screw ups that most men do on a daily basis, women usually can’t just let it go. They dwell on it, letting worries whittle away normal feelings of well-being like a dog gnaws on a bone.”
I say: This is true some of the time, but there are definitely times we really just aren’t mad! Really! And if we are, we don’t all let it “whittle away normal feelings of well-being”; we can get over things, you know. The best way to get around this confusion is to encourage open and honest communication from the start of a relationship.
“I don’t mind if you go to strip clubs with the boys.”
Askmen says: “If this one sounds too good to be true, that’s because it is. Word to the wise: Virtually all women mind when their men go out to ogle other women at strip clubs without them.”
I say: I love strip clubs. I’ve even done amateur night. I don’t mind if you go and I’ll probably ask to come along!
“I’m just not ready for a boyfriend right now.”
Askmen says: “The truth is, if the woman is single and at all interested in you, she will certainly make the time to date you. It’s that simple.”
I say: That’s true. But it’s important to note that dating and being boyfriend-girlfriend are not necessarily the same things, and it’s possible she just wants something more casual.
“I don’t mind picking up the tab tonight; you always pay anyway.”
Askmen says: “Not true. Although this lie doesn’t apply to all women, most still do expect men to pay for things, especially if the man asked them out in the first place. They will secretly think that the guy is cheap if he wriggles out of the bill on a regular basis.”
I say: Not true. My boyfriend and I split everything, because we’re both broke at the moment. I don’t think less of him at all.
“That was f*cking great!”
Askmen says: “This lie falls under the broad category of sex lies. When women are committed to a man, they focus on him, often believing, time and time again, that he is “the one.” Because girls have this tendency, they also tell guys whatever they think they want to hear (like they just had an orgasm), just to make them feel good about themselves.
I say: So anytime we say we’ve had an orgasm, it’s really just our secret hope that you are our soulmate? (And that we want to spend the rest of our lives with someone who can’t satisfy us!?) This sounds scarily like it falls under the old school “women don’t like sex but do it to keep men happy” train of thought, and that is just wrong.
What are some lies you girls have actually told?
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Emmie says:
Wed, 15th Jul 200912:30 pm
That's interesting that you claim askmen.com is one of the better sites, since it's always been my go-to when I wanted to look at the ridiculous things men write about women. I'm kind of scared to see what some of the worse ones are… What would you say is worse?
And I'm fine with my boyfriend going to a strip club. Just no touching. It's not cheating just to look, otherwise I would be very, very guilty of cheating every time Orlando Bloom's on the screen, lol. As long as he's honest about it, it's no skin off my nose. I even yelled at him once for texting me while he was at a strip club, since he should be paying attention to the girls half naked in front of him.
Kaycee says:
Wed, 15th Jul 20092:19 pm
This article is pretty ridiculous… I can totally say any of those things and not be lying. I don't care if my boyfriend goes to a strip club or hooters, or what have you… the average guy isn't going out to those types of places to get laid. They go out to have some drinks, and a little entertainment with their buddies. That's fine, whatever, go for it!
As for the rest of them… well, they're just silly. I'm not gonna lie to you about great sex if it wasn't (I wont tell you it sucked either though), I don't have a problem paying, sometimes (like now) I really have no interested in being in a relationship (though, yes, casual dating is always fun)… and sometimes, I'm not effing mad at you. But if you keep asking me… I will be pretty quick.
Maggie says:
Wed, 15th Jul 20094:04 pm
Okay, I understand how you think the last 2 are too broad, and I agree. I also find it pretty weird how a girl would even say that she’s okay with her dude going to the strip club. However, the article is what it is – a generalization – if you’re going to tear it apart, it’s a little petty.
I agree with a lot of what College Candy writes about in the “Bad Advice Men Get” column, but I think askmen.com is one of the better sites for men out there. Perhaps you should could them some slack and find worse offenders to criticize.
Ryu says:
Wed, 15th Jul 20093:55 pm
Askmen.com is actually pretty misogynistic in most of their articles. Plus, they're rarely accurate.
Some of these are somewhat true, but these are all really broad statements. Some girls are more honest than others. >>
I really don't like the site, but this is one of their better articles, really.
jeff says:
Fri, 17th Jul 20097:59 am
if he forget her birthday i think seh as a right to be angry because thats just kind of a jerk thing to do
Claudia says:
Fri, 17th Jul 20092:06 pm
I side with askmen.com on the strip club issue. I wouldn't feel comfortable with my boyfriend wanting to ogle a bunch of half naked chicks shaking their ass with his friends. I am pretty easy-going and laid back on other things, but I'd draw the line on that one. I wouldn't, however, lie and tell him I'm OK with it– only to mope and be sulky with him later– when I'm not. That's just ridiculous: say what you mean! On the other hand, I'd be OK with the bf going so long as I got to go too
)
sauer kraut says:
Tue, 21st Jul 20098:44 am
Life would be so much easier if the women side of the species would speak regular english. Except for the strip club thing… she doesn't like them one bit. Can't even bring Playboy into the house… and sometimes, I do read it for the articles.